I love you, but I don't want to be with you?

If I had a dollar for everytime this was said to me, I would probably be rich. How can a person, give you a passionate kiss, and then say this to you? My ex girlfriend, has just confused the heck out of me. We went out and started talking about why our relationship ended. After fighting a bit about it, she claimed that she would be hurt if she saw me with another person, and that she still has feelings for me, but doesn't want to be with me. Then at the end of the night, she gave me a huge hug and kiss. What does this mean? I'm just so confused right now, I'm probably just rambling on and on. Anyone else clue me in on what the heck is happening?

Oh the games they play...

Run away, get far away and stay there.

The girl has got you on a string and she can pull it whenever she wants and she knows it.

Tell her to off!

You deserve better.

MonKey

No! No! Please don’t run away. Come back! We need you to be our comfort pillow of tender kisses and bear hugs. Once in while, we feel the need to have our ex’s back in our lives to justify why we loved you guys in the first place. We don’t like feeling lonely but at least you are an option worth falling back upon in our times of need.

reply to post by secret titan

Girls will kiss and hug for various reasons. No point in trying to figure out what she means by doing so.

She says that she doesn't want to see you with another. That's her problem. If she is your ex, that means the relation is over, no strings attached. I'd tell her to just get over it.

Relationships are confusing about 100% of the time. Any mistakes made are just learning experiences for each of us. I don't know any background on why you split up so I'll just leave it at that for now.

reply to post by Sanity Lost


But this wasn't really an ordinary kiss, it was as close to making out that someone could get without actually doing it. That's why I am so confused.

pfffff...don't worry bout it.

I say that so liberaly, becasue NOT only do I hear it, in his voice, he ignores every aspect of me. Such is life.

I have better things to do than peander around people that don't think a helluvalot about themselves.

Such is life...and all that it brings.

Making the best out of my circumstances. makes me want to be 28 yrs. old again

~Ducky~

I think she is confused as well. She wants to break up but she's also afraid to go out on her own. Therefore the kiss was intended to remind you of your former relationship with her and to be available should she decide to come back to you.

Sounds like a young girl, probably insecure, but maybe a player too. don't let this waste your time. if she really wants you, she will come back. If not... be it be one of those lessons.

reply to post by secret titan


I'm a bit of a cynic about these things, but I would say this is classic behaviour of a young lady that doesn't want to be with you but wants you available to boost her ego and make her feel attractive. If she doesn't want to be with you, she has no say in who you are with. If it hurts her to see you with other girls, she can either get back together with you (if you are willing) or grin and bear it.

If you truly love someone you want them to be happy, even if it isn't with you.

I think she wants to sort of string you along, and keep you available to her when she wants some lovin, but she wants to get some lovin else where too...but if all else fails...maybe she can come back to you, she's using her sexual lure and power to keep you hung up on her.

Don't let her play with your heart any more than she already has. Let her go if you can't handle it, but if you just want to play..then detatch your emotions

reply to post by secret titan


Dude, that's just their way of saying "you're boring me, you're not right for me, the sexual tension isn't there but I'm gonna say this other crap so I don't hurt your feelings." Problem is you probably a "nice" guy. In other words you'd probably make a good friend for her, not a lover.

That's what that phrase is really disguising, much like the "it's not you it's me" crap you hear.

Trust me, when they say "it's not you, it's me," it's always gonna be you.

Also what Jen said about her wanting to play with you is probably right too.

[edit on 9-2-2008 by thehumbleone]

What Jen said ST.

She's playin'. Find yourself a nice girl and flaunt her in front of your ex.



mojo

reply to post by secret titan

middle fingers up

Thank you all for your replies. Perhaps I should go out and parade another woman in front of her. It would serve her right. My thought is that if you truely love someone, you would try to be with them no matter what. I can see now that I was right.

humble, I never bored her, in fact she always bragged about me to her friends..... I'm apparently a god in the sack.

Im going to sound blunt but this is the truth.She wants to bang guys that are hot but treat her like crap, and she wants you to be there for her emotionally.Basically she wants you to fulfill all of the emotional parts of the relationship and support her that way, and then screw around with other guys.

Throw her out with the garbage and get yourself someone that cares about you and isn't playing games.Hi I want to screw around but it hurts me to see you with other girls, wtf is that nonsense?Think about it,you are worth more.

Run and quickly, this is just a mind trip. Some people like to do this kind of thing. Its called keeping your options open. Go out and enjoy the other women you already rode this ride nothing new here. The easiest way out of this mess is to just not play the game and masonica has no idea what he is really talking about, whiny nice guys kill me because they just don't get it.

reply to post by secret titan


Not to be a dick, but I'm sure that's why she left you right?

reply to post by thehumbleone


No, there was something else. I betrayed her trust. I didn't cheat on her, but I did read some messages she was sending to a friend. And, yes, they were about me. She claimes that she doesn't want to be with me cause she can't trust me. I think trust can be earned back, who knows though.

Originally posted by secret titan
reply to post by thehumbleone

 

No, there was something else. I betrayed her trust. I didn't cheat on her, but I did read some messages she was sending to a friend. And, yes, they were about me. She claimes that she doesn't want to be with me cause she can't trust me. I think trust can be earned back, who knows though.

Eh don't try man. If she LOVED you, she would work it through with you. The truth is it really doesn't matter why you guys broke up at this point. The time to work through it passed. She isn't interested in working through the problems and getting back together.

That is a 1 way ticket for you away from her. It may hurt, but it will hurt even more being "stuck in the middle" somewhere between love lost and love that once was. Don't fall into that gap, just push through and start the next chapter in your life.

Tomorrow morning, wake up, take a look out the window, and see that the world doesn't start and end with her. Girls like her will come and go. Until you find a girl that is going to work through the problems you face, just take it for what it is worth. When you take that look out the window at the rising sun, you will know its a new day, and the past is the past. She is the past. Its time to pick up your chips and move to a different table, play your hand with somebody else. See what happens.

Originally posted by secret titan
No, there was something else. I betrayed her trust. I didn't cheat on her, but I did read some messages she was sending to a friend. And, yes, they were about me. She claimes that she doesn't want to be with me cause she can't trust me. I think trust can be earned back, who knows though.

Just like that she broke up with you? How fragile and immature. It should be open and free, no secrets. If you read it, then no big deal. It's no big deal between two friends right? Unless you just met her or something and you need to build up trust.