School detention for intentional farts

knox.villagesoup.com...

According to this week's Fire Cracker school newsletter though, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.

"Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!"

I find it rather amusing that no one anywhere mentions the other problem- the smell.

reply to post by TrueAmerican


How can they tell an un-intentional fart from an intentional fart? Is there such thing as a "fart meter" with a "stench detection setting?" Really..................

I loved america, it was my dream to move there and make a life there, but i have changed my mind completely, america is not what it used to be and i dont think it ever will be the same again....banning farts ?? that baggy trouser ban, i mean who the hell are they to think they can tell me you must tick in your shirt ??

your government treats you like naughty little children

I remember a few years back a couple sillies banned for eating raw garlic during class, alot of it. Couldn't imagine their booty charges.

I assume penalties for negligent farting will come next. And given the fact this is a middle school, a "no tolerance" policy should soon follow, eliminating the possible defense that someone forced you to fart. Then an amendment to include belching, culminating in a final policy prohibiting the escape of all bodily gases, including exhalations.




[edit on 5-2-2008 by loam]

reply to post by loam


lol

Man, I tell ya, with all that's been going on here so serious, I had to have a laugh. Figured I'd share. Gotta take a break.

reply to post by TrueAmerican


Our tax dollars hard at work.

Originally posted by loam
reply to post by TrueAmerican

 

Our tax dollars hard at work.

Exactly the reason I put this here instead of BTS. There is a stupid policy value to this that just flat out... stinks.

reply to post by loam


Brilliantly written! I must admit that there were occasions when I was at school when I hoped they would ban farting. The class would be in an uproar on occasion when the naughty boys had farting competitions. Used to drive the teachers crazy!

How do they know who the fart came from?
I mean in a class full of kids it could have been anyone

Originally posted by mnmcandiez
How do they know who the fart came from?

We must guard against innocents being rounded-up and accused on trumped-up charges!

Of course, there is that long-standing rule of playground-law to determine guilt in such circumstances, Habeus Fartus, that states:

Whoever smelt it, dealt it



[edit on 5-2-2008 by citizen smith]

I hate to say it, but young American males have become potty-mouthed pigs with bad attitudes. They're vulgar, they dress badly, and they treat young girls like they're all sluts. This development isn't a shock to me. It's sad that we need more rules to control negative behavior.

Young men with bad habits used to be shamed enough by negative peer and public reaction to change their ways. That doesn't happen anymore, which is why the people in charge have to make absurd rules.

Young American girls have issues as well, but we're discussing farting in this thread, which is typically a male amusement.

Originally posted by TrueAmerican

I find it rather amusing that no one anywhere mentions the other problem- the smell.

I was young once. Intentional farts don't really smell. Yes it is still a fart, but it mostly just a little gas, and can be labeled as a dry fart. Not a juicy stinky one. Not to get to disgusting, but I think detention might be a good thing for these kids. I am sure it happened to one of these kids, and that they pushed a little too hard and got something extra in their pants.

Another reason detention is good, is that is only a matter of time before they start to light them on fire as they come out.

While visiting his father's new assisted living facility, a young man noticed his dad at the lunch table with a number of other residents and started walking towards him.

While walking, he saw his dad start tipping over to the left, and just when the young man was afraid his father would fall, an attendant came and straightened him out. When the attendant walked away, his father again started slowly tipping to the side, and once again, the attendant came to straighten him out. This happened one more time before the young man was close enough to help his father himself.

Finally, the young man said "hi Dad! Is everything ok? how are you doing here?". His father replied "great, except that they won't even let me fart."

Sad state of affairs. I'm sorry, but yes, boys are crude. Some young girls are crude in that way. Big deal. Is it so hard for teachers and administrators today to manage real kids that they can't deal with the kinds of humor that we all grew up with in school? Are all of you damaged because kids intentionally farted when you were a kid?

So, now you can't even fart without getting into trouble. That statement used to be a sarcastic joke.

Just watch out for the rise in Spontaneous Human Combustion in the area within the next few weeks. Should be quite interesting to see what happens with these kids.

At least no one knows when I fart... Call it an art if you will, but no one hears mine.

TheBorg