Why men dont make good agony aunts

Dear Neville,

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my
husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a
mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a
halt.

I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't
believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbour lady making mad
passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been
married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out
that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her
rescue but found her unconscious. He'd carried the woman back to our
house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately
began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free
when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any
clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair
for the past six months.

I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six
months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and
worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum
he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to
him any more.

Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Mrs. Sheila Usk




Dear Sheila,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a
variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no
debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding
the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches
solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty,
causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.

Neville

That's what I would've answered!

Hilarious! That's the funnies thing I've seen all week. Thanks for sharing.