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Really weird story by Roswell1.

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posted on Feb, 1 2008 @ 05:17 AM
this is a story i wrote last year for a science project. (yes science, i know :!



My name is Malvoy Crumpet. I was born with a rare disease that made me grow hair all over my body and grow a tail. Everybody laughed at me. They all gave me the nickname ‘Monkey Boy’. My parents hated me and they disowned me at the age of seven. I was forced to live on the streets and fend for myself. Every night I would dream of being a hero and everybody shouting my name. Then one day a man approached me and offered me the chance to do that.

He told me that there was going to be a space probe sent to Mars and that he wanted somebody to man the vessel, but it was to dangerous for somebody normal to travel on because the trip was far to dangerous. So he went on to say that it looked like my life was worthless anyway and if I died nobody would care. I agreed because I knew this was totally correct.
He gave me the address to the space laboratory where I was going to redeem myself.

The next morning I got up bright and early and walked to the lab. I walked in the door and saw all these people working on strange stuff that I had no idea existed, the normal people call them ‘TV’s’ or something strange like that. As I walked through the crowd I was greeted politely by the huge amounts of vomit being excreted onto my face, they were very kind to me. I saw the man that gave me the address and he gave me my space suit.

He opened the door to the probe and threw me in. He slammed the door before I could change my mind and then blasted me into to outer-space.
As the days went past I became more and more eager to see this planet.
It was 458 days before I finally landed on the planet. I stepped out onto the bright red soil. I took a walk around and explored the area.

I saw a strange object fast approaching from the distance. I turned to run away but they tackled me to the ground and started to sniff me. They were speaking in a strange voice but after a few hours I began to understand them. They told me they were the mysterious race called the cyborg sausage rolls. They told me about their arch enemies the Tyrannosaurus pasties and how they have been planning an attack on them in their base on top of Olympus Mons and that it was taking place that very morning.

That morning the cyborg sausage rolls gave me a mask and weapons and we marched to Olympus Mons. When I got there I remembered I hadn’t eaten is ages, and I collapsed from hunger. I woke up in the medical camp; there were many sausage rolls with amputated body parts being replaced with machinery, the doctors were complaining about something and I asked what the problem was, they said that they had no where to put the amputated body parts and that the corner of the tent was getting to messy, I said to leave it to me and began to eat the sausage roll body parts.

The cyborg sausage rolls were disgusted and began vomiting in my face, I ran outside and back to my space probe with the sausages chasing me, I blasted off back to earth just in time to see Olympus Mons explode and the cyborg’s metal parts fly everywhere, the metal parts instantly rusted, and the Tyrannosaurus pasties became extinct from pollution. And that is why Mars looks red.




posted on Feb, 1 2008 @ 05:50 AM

That is a great story.

So the sausage rolls defeated the metal what-have-yous and they rusted and that is why Mars is red?

What's up with all the vomit lol

posted on Feb, 1 2008 @ 07:16 AM
well, the vomit just came naturally with the monkey faced child

i just shoved sci-fi and comedy in a box and waited till only one survived...


posted on Feb, 1 2008 @ 07:24 AM
Ah this is the story long lost on the USB drive! Nice!

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