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I'm dumb, now what?

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posted on Jan, 25 2008 @ 11:11 PM
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So I'm dumb... Here's why:

I have a boyfriend, great guy.
We've been together for a bit over two years.
We recently moved about 1,000 miles from home, mostly on a whim.
I transferred with my company, he didn't.
We've lived here now about three months.

So here's the situation.
I just got my taxes back. For some reason (because I'm crazy I think) I decided that I wanted to get him a new XBOX360. He's a gamer and has wanted one since they came out. So for some irrational reason, I was really excited about getting this for him.
Now mind you, I have a full time job. Money is semi decent, we're not broke. He has been jobless since we moved out here and spends most of his time playing video games. (I wish I had that life)
So anyway, he kept saying "You really don't have to get this for me..." But I really wanted to, so I did. I spent about $550USD on an XBOX360, a couple games and accessories.
Now after the fact, it occurs to me that I'm rewarding him for doing nothing. Probably not the best idea right? He's spent the last week conquering Mass Effect. (No sex for me, mind you)

What would you do in my situation? Do I pressure him to get a job? What would you think if your girlfriend did all this?

Help, help.

Thanks
:bash:




posted on Jan, 25 2008 @ 11:57 PM
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Be patient. We are only men. The sex part... yeah. Fix that. I'm putty in your hands cooking... provide a bigger "Mass Effect" or get a Wii and join in some fun? I've only ever seen two friend's kids get totally done playing MMORF(s) (could be spelling - giant freakin' multi-player net games) in some South Korean site or other. They were wired on it. There are some pretty disturbing reports around the net.

Hmmm, a man without gainful employment? Not looking and playing video games like an addict to the point of not engaging in nuptual priviliges? At home without a babysitter or daycare? Have him babysit a day or two. He'll consider career options... but you will have to clean up anyway right? Notice I'm not laughing.

My significant other sends her sympathies and suggests dinner and dancing and carry a big stick on Valentine's if he... what is it I'm supposed to do on Valentine's... one sec I'll ask my Missus'. Yeah, that.

Vic

[edit on 26-1-2008 by V Kaminski]



posted on Jan, 26 2008 @ 12:17 AM
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OMG! He sounds like a little boy that won't grow up. And you seem to care enough to spoil him with your nice gift. So you did what you thought was best for him at that time, not unless you'd use that new toy as a leverage to 'encourage' him to make himself useful around the place.

It does takes two to make a relationship work. If he could do something to 'help' around the house without you telling him, then he's a good man. But if you find that you'd have to prod him along each and every time that may be a lifetime of you doing most of the thinking. Good luck, though.

Remember to consider future events such as the wedding, the kids and their college funds, and your retirement homes, etc... You could have used that $500.00 instead to buy something that both of you could share together. But that's just my opinion only.



[edit on 2008-1Jan-26 by pikypiky]



posted on Jan, 26 2008 @ 01:20 AM
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Do you want the truth, because if so you aren't going to like it. First the xbox must be taken away until he has a job, yes you must ground him from the xbox. This would be another matter altogether if he was doing the housework and having food on the table when you get home, as he would actually be performing a function other than irritating blob on the couch. Two lay it out straight tell him how you feel about the situation if he doesnt respond it may be time to put him out, obviously you are capable of handling living by yourself he should be made aware of this. Third be patient, now this doesnt mean be a doormat but do realize it didnt get liek this overnight it wont get better overnight. A reasonable time limit should be set with identifiable checkpoints for measuring progress.

Also it should be noted that if a man isnt trying to have sex there are issues that need to be addressed. This could in fact be a depression coming from not having a job but if it continues counseling should be sought.



posted on Jan, 26 2008 @ 02:47 AM
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hat the hell do you see in the guy, no job, plays video games all the time and mooches off you. Lemme guess, he either has a musical talent or he's really skinny or both right? I think the skinny emo guitar playing looser is what women want now days (personal observation). I am seriously never going to understand you women, ya'll make no sense at all.



posted on Jan, 26 2008 @ 03:12 AM
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Originally posted by jimmyjackblack
I think the skinny emo guitar playing looser is what women want now days (personal observation).


Hmmm: Well, now that's something to think about, if only I had all the money in the world to support a nice guitarist, he'd be on my books. I'm sure he will be quite, err, talented in some ways and probably not half as bad as a video gamer, either.

Oh, 'Lenina', y'all have to quit being so nice or he might get used to this current (but hopefully temporary) arrangement and never work ever again!




posted on Jan, 26 2008 @ 03:48 AM
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reply to post by jimmyjackblack
 


Well if hes playing the xbox all the time the only instrument he probably ever touches is the one for guitar hero so you can rest asured no musical talent there. As for the chicks liking the whiny emo boys, it isnt that hard of a problem to get around you just have to out male them which isnt that hard to do.



posted on Jan, 26 2008 @ 04:04 AM
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reply to post by Jovi1
 


Lol, well if your fat and ugly it's hard to out male them.
I have two friends that got married (and I use the term friend loosly here).
One of them is a real great gal named Christine who used to be real close to me, till she met my friend Josh. Josh plays the guitar and sings, he's really good too. The emo thing when big and he fell right into it. Josh and Christine started dating, well Josh discovered this wonderful thing called World of Warcraft, he started playin' it and quit paying attention to his girl. He never paid for any of they're dates (as far as I can remember), cause he had a crappy job and never really got her anything. So one day he proposes to her (I think he actually got her some sort of ring) and she ends up paying for the whole wedding, cause Josh has to play WARCRAFT! The game consumed his life and Christine would visiously attack me any time I mentioned it, I was all for her relation ship with the guy, he's a better guy than the other guy's she's dated (and btw you girls have the worst taste ever when it comes to guys), but she would poor down the hatred anytime I would say something like "Geez, I think Josh should mow the lawn instead of you, he's getting a little pastey sitting in that room playin' WoW", I was obviously trying to be funny, but she went fruitloops on me and said our friendship was over (which it wasn't). Seriously, you girls need to learn to find a good dependable guy, ya'll always go for the guy who make you "feel" stuff, well love is more than a feeling, it's an action, a commitment. It's something I don't have for your kind anymore.
So yeah, your screwed unless you go hardcore on your bf boney butt and let him know he better start being a man or it's over (being over is probably the better thing to do). That might actually make him straighten up.

-Jimmy



posted on Jan, 26 2008 @ 05:37 AM
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I'm going to agree with Jovi here. Ground him off the XBox, which should have been a reward he bought for himself, out of his own paycheck, for the job he got himself. Honey you really do have a "BOY" friend. He needs to Man up and get a job. Are you his girlfriend or his mom? Not meaning to be sarcastic.I don't think you are dumb either.Every woman has made a decision regarding her mate that she later regrets.Your intentions were good.That being said..take a real good look at your guy there, and think..1-2, or even 5 years down the road.What do you see?
Are you sure the XBox is the real issue?



posted on Jan, 26 2008 @ 09:10 AM
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Geez, I had to ask for a second opinion from someone from the "age of video games". Can you imagine being born in the 80's... how about the 90's. If you were born in the 40's or 50's... well we've seen a lot of change in relationships... I digress, forgive me. I lost at caps but I managed to drink the young one under.

In betweem "OMG's and Bogusses and that's so Nardwar and Foo" and where's the big aspirin I managed to decrypt that for her it was very cut and dry. You have the power. Use it. If "it's" not good. Get smart. Get a new one. This one's broken.... AND/OR using gaming to guild his cage a little further... keep 'em happy, unaware, dumb and down on the farm and something about "Hot, hot Heat" and "kept". Put Viagra in his kibble when needed and make sure he bathes.

Sounds like domestic slavery to me. Like, it's not even 10AM... I want a drink anyway. LOL. My cat is rolling around on my laptop keyboard... managed to open services twice. Beeeeep. beeep. beep. LOL. My favorite sound.

Rolex 24 at 1:00PM... my Missus' and I enjoy watching "some" motorsports together... I always fall asleep... 2 hours on, two hours delicious.

Yeah, racing. Nice juicy burgers... red onion, egg, little pork, a touch of cumen, dried red pepper-chop, saffron and fresh-crush black pepper... cooked on a nodular iron seasoned and cleaned 3/8 plate on a gas BBQ... a Grillemaster... gas is crap. Gotta have wood charcoal. Gotta have extra-virgin olive oil and canola and beer! It's now after 10AM.

Victory to the 99 Gainsco Pontiac!!!

Vic



posted on Jan, 26 2008 @ 03:57 PM
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Thanks for all the replies guys!


"First the xbox must be taken away until he has a job, yes you must ground him from the xbox."
--- See, I thought about that. I really don't think any good would come of it. He'd just get huffy and there would be constant tension between us for me treating hime like a five year old.


"If he could do something to 'help' around the house without you telling him, then he's a good man. "
--- LOL, I declared a while back that if he's going to stay at home, then he should be prepared to be the house b*tch. I must say, he does the laundry, cleans the litter box, cooks, vaccums, etc.

"Have him babysit a day or two."
--- We don't have kids. I'm way too young for that! Only 22.

"Be patient. We are only men. The sex part... yeah. Fix that."
--- I understand men relatively well, I think. The sex is an ongoing issue that we've discussed. I think that he may be depressed from not having a job. Therefore his sex drive has depleated.
Of course he'll never come right out and say he's depressed.... I'm being patient, and I have hope.

"Lemme guess, he either has a musical talent or he's really skinny or both right? "
--- Neither actually. If anything he could lose a few pounds. He doesn't play music either, or Guitar Hero for that matter.



posted on Jan, 26 2008 @ 03:58 PM
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UPDATE!!

As of a few minutes ago, the boyfriend got hired doing some stocking stuff. It's full time. Which I'm happy about. Hopefully he'll stick with it. He starts on Monday.



posted on Jan, 26 2008 @ 05:09 PM
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Originally posted by Lenina
What would you think if your girlfriend did all this?


I would be begging my girlfriend to marry me and I would make love to her like she mattered because she would.

Please don't waste your life with this dude. There are so many worthy men out there looking for a good person like you. You are obviously selfsacrificing and very giving. You need to look for the same. If you think this guy is going to change then you are doomed for a miserable existance. This person will not change so you have to.



posted on Jan, 27 2008 @ 04:50 PM
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Originally posted by ConstantlyWondering
I would be begging my girlfriend to marry me and I would make love to her like she mattered because she would.

Please don't waste your life with this dude. There are so many worthy men out there looking for a good person like you. You are obviously selfsacrificing and very giving. You need to look for the same. If you think this guy is going to change then you are doomed for a miserable existance. This person will not change so you have to.



Thank you very much, ConstantlyWondering.
I know that it's tough to paint a complete picture of a person, especially on the internet. But we really are very good together. Sometimes we just take that for granted.



posted on Jan, 27 2008 @ 04:52 PM
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reply to post by Lenina
 


I say you rock!


Vic



posted on Jan, 27 2008 @ 05:02 PM
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DUMP HIM.



posted on Jan, 28 2008 @ 10:16 PM
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you're dating a scrub.



posted on Jan, 30 2008 @ 08:12 AM
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I've seen both ends of the spectrum though.My last ex and I got along amazingly but one of the main contributing factors to me breaking up with her was the fact that she had no aspiration to do ANYTHING with her life.She would be quick to blame her problems on everyone and everything around her, and never pick herself up and fix her own situations,which of course were never ever caused by her actions,because like so many people she walks blamelessly through life and bad situations just occur,what a surprise when we live in a society where nobody can accept personal responsibility.She didn't make an attempt to work or go to school.

Then she decided that she was going to start to play WoW again.Adios to that.We are still friends finally (she kept trying to get back with me for months, now she finally knows that there is no hope), for a while she would be like you should come down and we will go to this comedy club, or we should go here...and I was like wait so, we aren't going to date, but you expect to not work and for me to come down on the weekends and take you places and pay for you everywhere that we go?No thanks.



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