posted on Jan, 23 2008 @ 09:00 PM
The only way out of this is to be truthful to yourself, and I don't think you are at that point.
What you have done has actually strengthened the position of those whom you claim to hate the most, which makes me wonder if you have actually been on
someone's payroll all along.
Here is my interpreatation of you. A person who had a tough life growing up, and probably picked on a fair amount. So you join the Army trying to find
the comraderie and brotherhood that was lacking in your life, and which you very much desired. Acceptance, validation, and a direction in life. I
don't really believe that you joined the Army out of pure patriotism, though I don't believe you set out to do the damage you have done either.
I think Basic was probably very tough for you, but not quite as tough as you claim. You embellish what happened, because in your mind, you really feel
like it was that bad. I do believe that you were probably singled out for being Muslim. Even to the point of having your Holy Book defaced, and even
to the point of being hit. I do not believe that you were tied up for days on end in the barracks, or beaten within an inch of your life. It is the
job of a Drill Sgt. to exploit any weakness of character, and make you face it. If your weakness was say, your Holy Book, an enemy could find and
exploit that weakness just as easily as your instructor, to the detriment of this nation. Basic is not just training, it is a metamorphises of body
and mind. A change you are still unwilling or unable to make. I have no doubt that your time in the Army was the worst experience of your life. As a
Muslim, you certainly picked the wrong time join the US Army, but you yourself admit that you did not think it would be an issue. That was a mistake.
There is certainly nothing wrong with being a Muslim, but you should have known that your loyalties would be put to the test. A test that you failed.
The Army is not for everyone. There are people who make the mistake of joining the military and are unable to make the metamorphises of body and mind,
for various reasons. Not all weakness can be overcome, especially in a matter of weeks. This does not make the person useless, it just means that they
are not a soldier.
In this case, you resented the fact that your weakness had been exposed. Furthermore, you were hurt and ashamed that you would not be a part of the
very thing that you had pinned all of your life's hopes on. So you decided to take revenge. If one side wouldn't accept you, then the other side
would. Of course you are indeed an American and not a terrorist, so in this case, the other side was the anti-war effort. The people who are trying to
stop the war, and who oppose the Army politically. Here you hope again you would find this comraderie, but you were simply used up and thrown in
prison for your crimes. Crimes that were perpetrated in the name of revenge, not truth, and not because you were really ever even against the war. You
wanted to be a part of the war, but when you were denied your place in it, you decided to be against the war with every bit of skill and ingenuity you
Now I think you have come here to ATS, once again looking for the same validation that no one has ever given you. It is really the only thing you live
for, to be accepted somewhere, and all of the doors are closed.
You will never find the truth until you are true to yourself.
I have empathy for you, and I truly hope you will find peace for your restless soul. You are your own worst enemy I think. You have gone down the
wrong path, and it is a path that ends in destruction. You must turn around now, and start over.
With sincere regards,
EDIT to add:
Please don't misunderstand what I mean by "weakness." Your religion is not the weakness, it is that you allowed it to be validated as a weapon
[edit on 1/23/0808 by jackinthebox]