trust issues

i know many people on this site have issues trusting theit SO. Is their a way that you have learned to gain trust. I have been hurt in the past and I don't know that I can trust anyone. My previous ex cheated on me with a person I thout as a best friend.


How do you deal with trust issues?

Although I have no hard core experiences with any SO, I’ll have to add that trust issues take time (even many years) to build. Trust is something that my gut feelings or intuition tells me even though my head doesn’t always make the best judgment above all matters regarding time, money and energy. In my effort to deal with trust, I could avoid getting my heart hurt by recruiting outside help from ‘finders’, ‘matchmakers’ or middlepersons via family, friends, relatives or strangers, for example. Their most honest opinions (no matter how brutal) could help ‘scan’ the compatibility with any current or future ‘significant other’.

Good luck in the future, though.

Having been around the block a few times, I can tell that IMO trust is either there or it isn't.

Once lost it's very hard to regain.

Trust again IMO is never really the crux of the matter it's the fear of being along, you will keep telling yourself that you do trust them, you really do. When in reality you wouldn't trust them as far as you could throw an elephant (I say elephant cos it's really heavy and wife throwing has been banned in most countries).

You're scared, you're insecure. Quite a natural state to be in at your age (early 20's right?) Don't be in a huge hurry to settle down. I really mean this, play the field - sow thy wild oats. 40 is the new 30 and all that crap.

Try having a much more casual attitude towards the other species er sex, that doesn't mean sleep with anything with a pulse (or still warm) it means always have things to do, so when the SO says "I'm going out with my friend such-and-such tonight" you just say "OK that's cool, call me tomorrow" and then go and DO something else, don't sit and brood over what they are doing, chances are you just being paranoid and making things way worse.

The Love MonKey

ChiKeyMonKey is correct here you need to go out and date several different women right now you are not really in the right frame of mind to focus ona single relationship. This is a confidence thing the dating several different women on a casual basis will boost your confidence and help you to deal with trusting your next SO.

Now if you choose to not go that route the only thing you can do is to adopt a new philosophy that says I trust you until you give me a valid reason not to. I have seen far to many times where the idiot boyfriend gets jealous and afraid over nothng and costs himself the relationship. You have to relax a truly alpha male doesnt worry about what his girl is doing. And if you think otherwise chew n this a moment, at what point in the relationship did you become a prison warden?

IMHO, there is no way to handle it, you either trust or you let doubt get the best of you.

I`d rather trust.