Well, it's now a month or so later, and she has finally moved...gone... the end...
...or is it?
Well, it happened again. Yes, another workmate! :bnghd: But something is different this time. A few very strange things have happened.
little back-story. She used to work with me a couple of years ago. We've known eachother awhile. Anyway, she left town, worked for a few newspapers
and print companies in a graphics role, then she came back. The night she came back to work here, I dreamt about her (my usual perfectionist self
about to go on first date with her, undecided on what to wear and she's like 'hurry up'! and then I wake up!)
. She mentioned she had a dream
the next day, and so did I.. but didn't mention the subject matter!
Unfortunately, in a work situation (8.5 hour days, 6 days a week), you get to know someone a lot better than a one-off dinner date or drunken night on
the town. And working next to her, I've struck far too many "Oh My God - Me Too!!" moments than I care to disclose. For instance, our mothers have
the same common best friend (that we both care for very deeply), we both knew the same graphics design programs, both of us moved back home after a
few years at university and flatting and doing our own thing, both our parents recently split up.. we're in the same place in life.. both want the
same things in life / values (considering so many people clash on this, this is astounding for me), we are both of tall build, similar personalities
(attention to detail yet also laid back..extroverted but also sensitive, kind but also a little crazy. She's even seen a UFO!!!! I remember when her
sister told me last year about it (she was in the car with her as a witness). People / friends outside my workplace have also been mentioning her in
conversation and asking my opinion of her, to which is always warm and positive.
But the weirdest thing of all happened when this old guy walked in on us for 2 days straight. He looks a little like Bela Lugosi and sounds like
Dracula but he is a kind gentle fellow. Anyway, he walked up to us and enquired if we were boyfriend and girlfriend and that we reminded him of a
couple he knew in the Balkans and they were married. He then said that the two of us should have dinner together. The next day, he came back again,
while the 2 of us were working together, and he said that we should be together, that we both look alike and he's never wrong in his hunches with
people. Anyway, it spooked both of us. Something has happened. The next day, I could barely look at her, I was verging on petrified but I slept that
night vowing to act normal and confident and be myself. Basically, I'm tired of looking like an idiot, tired of rejection. I'm scared to take that
next move which I think could be huge, especially in a workplace, I don't want to make things awkward for her. Though she did say to me she has
decided to stay here for at least another year. She's not going to go away. And in a country like New Zealand where the wages are on average 30% less
than Australia, it's not always an easy choice.
So today at work, I was calm, cool, chatty, I smiled at her. She was smiling back, and almost hypnotic. I glanced sideways at another workmate who
caught us in mid-glaze and gave me a smile. I am however, a little scared to confront my feelings which have suddenly rushed to the forefront of my
attentions. She broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years last Christmas and I think she still needs that space to sort out what she wants. I've trashed
all this Secret stuff for the time being, I've got to realise that I can't control how she really feels about me, it's out of my hands, I know she
likes me. And the old man was right - we should be together. Since that day, I've been haunted by whatever he's sensed between us. The other girl
was most likely a case of pure Lust, but is this particular connection what we know as Love?
[edit on 8-3-2008 by RiotComing]