Applying 'The Secret' when it comes to love: Stalking or not??

I'm in a fix. I'm crazily attracted to a woman I work with. I can picture us together and I deep down believe she is the woman of my dreams. She often comes over to help me (often when it's not needed, it's very sweet) and I think to some extent, my feelings towards her are indeed reciprocated. We laugh a lot and there's a definite sexual tension in the air - not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, especially in a workplace.

Anyway, I made it my goal, to use the Law of Attraction to find lifetime love. I'm not so caught up in the material wants or monetary goals that The Secret tends to hawk in the dvd.. I just want to find love, and I've been attempting to follow those principles to find love.

My question is, when it comes to using The Secret to focus on finding the love of my life, am I crossing the line? Am I becoming a stalker? By deeply visualising what I want, and giving what I can to give myself the best chance of this manifesting, am I turning into one of those creepy obsessed types? Is it wrong to use The Secret / Law of Attraction to go about this?

Or should I just let it go? I'm a decent, friendly, creative, thoughtful dude and don't want to think I'm forcing myself on her or embarrassing myself or wasting my time or making her time at work anxious / intolerable. Nobody needs that at work. But, on the other hand, such opportunities come along very rarely and I'm tired of being the shy one who takes zero action and never gets anywhere. What is the best way to approach such a situation? I don't think she has a current boyfriend but is never starved of male attention as she is very pretty and she's a kind soul. At the moment, both of us are remaining professional enough to not have feelings interfere with the job. But other workmates are noticing, and encouraging us to get together. Is The Secret the right thing to follow through with in this situation?

[edit on 19-1-2008 by RiotComing]

Oh man.... I can already feel the memories flooding in.... (been in this situation TOO many times).... *shudder*

Does this woman have ANY authority over you at work? Or is she the boss/owner's wife or daughter? If so, RUN! Run to the hills! She will try to make you her own personal boytoy, and exploit her authority/position in order to do so....

If not, if you are on equal ground, just ask her for some time outside of work. "What are you doing after work?" or "What are you doing on the weekend?" or "Want to go for a drink sometime?"

If she accepts, then you're in good shape.

If she declines, or gives you the "my boyfriend wouldn't like that", then you're really in trouble!

As she will just keep finding ways to amp up the sexual tension AT WORK until you do something about it! And everyone will keep gossiping about it behind your back...........

If that happens, you MUST take action and get the situation under control. You MUST lead, as she and your coworkers will leave you no other choice....

Applying the secret anywhere is kind of ridiculous. Period. I could only imagine the spike on the creepdar when applying it to one's love life. Why would you use the "law of attraction" to something that is already within your grasp?

She often comes over to help me (often when it's not needed, it's very sweet) and I think to some extent, my feelings towards her are indeed reciprocated. We laugh a lot and there's a definite sexual tension in the air

Become self reliable. Don't lean on these modern days foofoo type ideologies to get you through life. You know what has to happen. Stop wishing and start getting.


"The Secret."

reply to post by DeadFlagBlues


DFB is right. Using meditation and visualizing what you want etc is fine - but when it WORKS and you can SEE what you want right there in front of you, then it is time to ACT

reply to post by RiotComing


Instead fo sitting there wishing something would happen why don't you just take the shot. All you really need to do here is talk to her. Jesus when are you guys going to wake up and smell the coffee? It isnt that hard to gauge how your lady friend will respond to you. Stop being afraid and just take a chance already if she turns you down it isnt anything personal, move on to the next one. One more thing for you guys all the sweet sensitive crap your mom tried to instill in you throw it out she lied to you.

reply to post by RiotComing


Instead fo sitting there wishing something would happen why don't you just take the shot. All you really need to do here is talk to her. Jesus when are you guys going to wake up and smell the coffee? It isnt that hard to gauge how your lady friend will respond to you. Stop being afraid and just take a chance already if she turns you down it isnt anything personal, move on to the next one. One more thing for you guys all the sweet sensitive crap your mom tried to instill in you throw it out she lied to you.

Thanks very much for the responses. It seems the consensus is "to throw the damned book away" and I would be happy to do that, as I would probably feel less self-conscious in doing so.. y'know, overthinking each move.

DeadFlagBlues, you're right, she is already within my grasp. Kind of. MrdDstrbr, yes every now and then, I get a sign that yes something is already working. Strange synchronicities that pop up in various conversations, not just with her, but with other people, like a weird kind of deja vu confirming my thoughts. She is just a co-colleague on the same level. You're right, all that remains is to keep talking, keep initiating, she's twice hinted to me about when Saw IV comes out at the movies here. If that's not a hint to take action to ask her out, I don't know what is! My problem is not being able to seize the moment - I always think of the 'good lines' some hours later! Jovi1, yes I know what you are saying, I am probably too sensitive for my own good. And I know she sees me in that way too. But I don't believe in being an ahole to anybody unless they do likewise to me. I'd like to stay true to myself if I can.

Thanks again for the posts. I'd still like to hear from someone who has actually applied The Secret in this manner; on ATS there are plenty of people who personally endorse and recommend it. I appreciate the advice, I hope it will help others who read this too!

Originally posted by RiotComing
You're right, all that remains is to keep talking, keep initiating, she's twice hinted to me about when Saw IV comes out at the movies here. If that's not a hint to take action to ask her out, I don't know what is! My problem is not being able to seize the moment - I always think of the 'good lines' some hours later!

Forget about "lines".

Next time she comes over to help you, give her a light touch on the shoulder. "What are you doing after work"?

Just ask for what you want

Good luck!

Don't get yer honey where you get yer money. Never a good idea to fraternize with co-workers, imho.

reply to post by whitewave


LOL, whitewave, that has been my policy too; but I have found that women in workplaces can be extremely, extremely persistent!!

Sometimes it's best just to give a woman what she wants, for if you reject her, she'll hate you, and want to hurt you. "Hell hath no fury...."

To be fair, I personally dont go around dipping the pen in the company ink either but alot of people do it and seem to be ok with it. As to dropping the sensitve crap remark I made ot doesnt mean be an a-hole as you put it but to be a little more coarse in the picture you are painting early on the sensitive stuff has plenty of time to come out later generally it is your goal to make her feel like she is drawing it out of you.

Ooo! I love romantic stories. If 'The Secret' [whatever the heck this may be] does indeed work, let us know. I'm dying for a happy ending. But seriously, honey, mixing work with pleasure isn't worth the effort! Trust me: I've had my dose of dudes (or rather duds) that made working much more difficult, frustrating and quite frankly quite embarrassing when the relationship falls out, not to mention the gossiping and giggling going on with the gals at work.

Originally posted by whitewave
Don't get yer honey where you get yer money. Never a good idea to fraternize with co-workers, imho.

Whitewave and pikypiky are correct. How badly do you need this job?? YOu dont squat where you work and earn your moneys. I've seen to much of this nonsense. Sometimes it works out ok...but more often than not it turns out bad, awkwardly and often involves other coworkers who feel drawn to pick sides.
THe worst Ive seen of these scenerios was a supervisor and a co worker in a crew. It turned out pitiful and disgusting. The supervisor definitely should have known better.

Dont squat where you work. Dont let your life get so powerless that you must hunt and gather where you work. A good paying stable job is more important than runaway gland levels. Dont add potential instability to your job or the job of others by runaway gland levels.

Orangetom

I say go for it man.
Give it all you got.
If it doesn't work out then you can't blame a guy for trying, if it does you could be in for a great relationship.
Asking her out won't hurt anyone and you say she feels the same way?
Good things can only be in store

Isnt it strange how sexual tension as its called, or whatever it is, can be felt inthe depths of the soul? I've had this happen to me and i just know it was 2-way.
I'm very glad i didnt make a fool of myself and i'm sure he is too. Thank goodness for level headed people, both of us!

#1- make sure she is interested too. Talk about movies or something she may have in common and if she says i'd like to see that movie, there's your chance, without being a jerk, to say 'Why dont we go see it together"?
There's your guage for what may happen. If she says she's busy, i'd leave it alone and not approach her again.
#2- Make sure she's not your superior.
#3. Make sure she's the discreet type.

Good luck!

reply to post by RiotComing


Don't listen to all the poopy-pants in this thread telling you where or where not to find love. It can happen anywhere.

That being said, you must be completely sure as to whether or not she's interested in you, or just interested in the attention you give her. Women are notorious for sending that particular mixed signal. Believe me, if she's interested in you in a potentially romantic way........she'll let you know, and if you don't pick up on it, you'll see the frustration coming from her.

Peace



[edit on 22-1-2008 by Dr Love]

Originally posted by orangetom1999
The worst Ive seen of these scenerios was a supervisor and a co worker in a crew. It turned out pitiful and disgusting. The supervisor definitely should have known better.

Exactly!

I see nothing wrong with co-workers socializing and developing relationships, which is something that naturally happens in the workplace all the time.... but when one person is a supervisor or otherwise has authority over the other, well that is just a recipe for terrible, terrible disaster! Avoid this like the plague!!!

What secret?

Guess I'm not kew enough for your reindeer games!!!!!!

UPDATE!

Ok, bad news, guys! Big bombshell today! She went quiet on me for the last few days, y'know, like awkwardness.. well it turns out she's about to leave for the UK for the next 5 years, she's booked her tickets, ready to go. I've lucked out big time. I guess that no amount of visualising or following principles of The Secret would help to remedy this particular situation.

So yeah, that's the end of that.

Things weren't so awkward with us today, as the day went on. Will just have to carry on and be a decent dude and put it behind me.
Just to make sure this thread wasn't a wasted effort (and I appreciate all your replies), do you still think it's still worth using The Secret in this situation? I know that you have to visualise something real and feel it as if you already have it.. something concrete, not abstract. So can it be used to attract a non-specific person - more like an *idea* of your perfect match? What do you think?

[edit on 22-1-2008 by RiotComing]

reply to post by RiotComing


Allelujah! Praise the Lord! You've been saved from any potential complications via the H/R department, if any. [Oops! Sorry, I got a bit spiritual here as this is not the faith-based forum]. Again, this is from 'real-world' experiences (or so I hear).

Ummm: Once again, you may wish to use 'The Secret' with discretion. You may never, ever, ever know the outcome of future events due to not being very, very, very specific about your idea of a perfect match in this otherwise imperfect world.