Parabol: Could you please elaborate on the system of "checks" that you use to see if you're dreaming ? I think if I could just recognize when I am asleep, it would be much easier to deal with. I have had many dreams in which the most far-out and nonsensical things happen, but my dreaming mind seems to find a way to justify the events as reality. This is one of the most disturbing things about my nightmares. Any help would be appreciated.
Raven: Thank you for your reply. Although I don't believe in "The Bogeyman" as such, my family history ensures that I accept there are "forces" at work in the world beyond our understanding. Not all of these are good, happy forces. I perceive my nightmares as a warning of sorts. I don't believe they should be taken literally (at least I hope not. Hordes of undead unleashed on the world is not my idea of a good time...), but figuratively speaking they do not bode well for myself, or others. I seek only the understanding of how to change these nightmares that I may again enjoy a restful nights sleep. I hope lucid dreaming can help me achieve this.

I can respond about the "checks" to help lucid dream.

I have lucid dreams quite often, and what triggers my ability to control them is the so-called "checks". For me, every check is different.

For example, if my dream shows that I am single, I immediately "sieze control" over it, because I know that I am married... I am very keenly aware of the fact that I am married (for 10 years,) so that sets-off my reality sensor.

Another set of checks would be:

Do I have children in the dream? If so, how many and what gender?

Is the dream taking place in the home I currently live in, or in some unknown apartment complex?

What is the weather like? I am in the Caribbean, yet it's snowing?

Is it "real" that I should be talking to a 10 foot tall spider?


I know that some of these checks may not help; as you've stated that sometimes weird circumstances can seem normal in a dream.
I can only add what has worked for me... by being very vigilant in the dreamstate and noticing relationships (current or old) places I've lived (past or present) or out-of-place situations, I can suddenly realize I'm dreaming and control the dream.

Oh, and as the OP said, I do suddenly grin because I've taken over the dream!

And, I find that once I've realized I'm dreaming, my morals forbid me to cheat on my wife or injure people for no reason, etc. Maybe that's boring, but it makes me feel that in both realit and the "dreamworld" that I'm an OK guy!