Fake Friends

So I'm sitting at home over the weekend and trying to get out of the house. I go through my whole contacts list on my phone to reach anyone to see what they are doing on a Saturday night. All I wanted to do is either to hang out either at their place or have a night out. Then the problem begins............ nobody answers their phone.

I leave messages, send texts, and nothing. Nobody even has the curtesy to tell me they are busy. Anytime they call me, I answer the phone or at the very least call them back as soon as I can. I will go out on the drop of a hat to chill with them or go somewhere. But if it's me that wants something, I guess they are too busy.


Not anymore! I am no longer going to be a victim of their fakeness. If they want my friendship, they have to earn it. I have been too nice to way too many people for too long. If you want something from me, give me something in return. Go ahead and sit there and call yourself my friend then ignore me.

Does anyone else have this problem? I still haven't recieved calls from most of my so called friends. I guess I should only have one or two good friends instead of many friends.

jeez, this rant makes no sense at all........... unless you are me!

LOL LOL LOL Secret Titian,

Now you are learning about life in the fast food lane.

I dont have many true friends. I can count them on one hand. This is for the very reasons you mention. Also I am not that social.

Most folks I know are not much for dependability. Hence I learn to occupy on my own and dont count on them. IF you are yourself in the fast food lane this kind of transition will be very difficult. This means you are to social a creature to go it alone...or with very few friends.

I value my privacy very much and hence only give my phone number out to very few. Particularly my cell phone. I would suggest you get your number changed if you plan to go this route. Dont give it out to just anyone. Learn to be more selective about what and whom you call friends.
Friends is not just a matter of good times, fun, and entertainment. It is also difficult and hard times.

What you learn is that you are not doing these people some kind of injustice..you are leaving them right where they are at.

One more thing to understand and very important...these people dont necessarily owe you their company. Done ever think this way. Neither do you for that matter..owe them company. Friends is a voluntary arrangement.

My point here is to learn to be more self sufficient. Self sufficiency gives you the abilty to deal with friends or go it alone. Apparently you are not proffecient in this. I surmise youn are pretty young by this trait or lack of it.

No problem either way. Life is a learning experience even into olde autumn years. Keep learning. Just dont get all in dispair or depressed over this stuff. Be of good cheer.

Orangetom

Originally posted by secret titan




Not anymore! I am no longer going to be a victim of their fakeness. If they want my friendship, they have to earn it.

jeez, this rant makes no sense at all........... unless you are me!

i have literally ZERO friends. 'friends' are always fake imo. friends are always a liability in my opinion..

my wife has a couple 'friends' that she sees but to me, they are not...one of them lives about 35 minutes away from us....they will talk about getting together while they are at work one day and guess who has to make the half hour drive? yup. my wife
her friend NEVER does...
i keep track of all this stuff you know. if you're someones friend, you take some of that burden on...

as a wrench, my 'friends' back in the day would usually be gone unless they had car trouble and then my phone would ring.
it's still like that....my own mother does not call me all that much but just last week, one of her coworkers was having trouble with his jeep and my phone rings....my mom is all happy sounding "hey son, how are you" and i say just get to it....whats the problem....
she laughs it off but i was right.


i just don't see the benefit of having friends. they either get on my nerves or cost me time or money....

btw, your rant makes perfect sense to me

reply to post by orangetom1999


Thanks for your reply. I was actually so mad at all of my "friends" I couldn't sleep. I do have some friends I can count on, but they are in other states. Perhaps I should become more of a loner.


And yes, I am fairly young........ only 25. Still plenty of time to learn about life.

ST, I have a few years on you and I have learned in my 50+ that friendship is an ephemeral thing. Friendships ebb and flow like the tide so I no longer wait or depend on anyone to call me. I click off the computer, put on a clean shirt, comb my hair and drive down to some local beer joint and walk in with the attitude that I am going to make some new friends tonite. Male, Female, transgender etc. it make no difference to me.

Conversation with another human being. I'm not afraid to make the opening approach and if I get rejected, I'm not insulted. My favorite kind of places are open mic nites where people get up and sing and play. The atmosphere is already loose and perfect for the opening gambit.

I'm not a snob and enjoy the company of all but the emotional vampires.
Emotional vampires are easily spotted with in 1min of conversation. Get away and get away fast.

Secret Titan, you have more friends than you can possibly imagine. You just haven't met them yet.

I see that by the green stripe at the top of your avy that I am your friend.

reply to post by Boondock78


Your story reminded me of how I learned who my true friends were! I can't tell you how many people I have helped move.

Yes, of course, when it was MY turn, nobody was available. Imagine that!

reply to post by Enthralled Fan


oh no doubt...had i made a call to them for whatever reason and it would just ring or there would be some story or sometimes they would say yeah and just not show up.

i still get lied to. just a coulple weekends ago my bro in law and his wife(close to friends i guess) said they were coming over to watch the ufc. they had a party to go to but a few days before that they said they were not going to go to that and come to my house.
so, i ordered the ppv. had i known they were not coming i would not have ordered it. i like to watch it but i get the fights on the net the next day.
anyway, they are coming to my house to watch the fights and she is even bringing a snack.

bout 4 hours before they were due to be there he called and said they are not coming cause she is not feeling well.
ok i say....

a few days later i was over there listening to him bitch and moan about things and he slipped out with 'last weekend when we were at the party'...
i didn't say anything about it, just made a mental note....
i got another brush off and to top it off, the cable stream was jacked up and i did not get a picture. so, i paid for this thing and i didn't even get to watch. i need to wait till the bill comes in and call and dispute it....

all cause he couldn't just be honest and say he was not coming over.....

reply to post by Boondock78


hah, im with you, boondock. If it were any other time period but now, I would probably be living as a hermit somewhere in the woods. Instead, I live in a concrete jungle tangled with wires.

I have nothing against "friends," however I put absolutely no faith in them. My take on it, is that you can trust a complete stranger just as much as you can trust a close friend. The only difference is in how long you have known them, not their character.

reply to post by scientist


i'm with ya man...i live in the same concrete jungle...
i could be called a hermit though....

reply to post by secret titan


Hey ST. I routinely do not answer the cellphone ore reply to messages. But then again I routinely set the phone on silent and leave it in the other room while simultaneously having no credit in my pre-paid to reply... heh. I hate phones. And I kinda subscribe to that hermit mentality Boon was talking about... so...

By the way I'm younger than you.. but already regressing from the social scene...

i always have my cell right here in case mama(my wife) calls but if it is not her, i NEVER answer it....leave me a message and i will call back. if no message telling me what you wanted then i don't call back....we're talking inlaws, my parents and such

Boondock78

as a wrench, my 'friends' back in the day would usually be gone unless they had car trouble and then my phone would ring.

Yup..know just what you mean here. They either have no skills or no tools or both. Ive had a couple borrow the computer code testers I have ... OBL I and II models....well ..had as in past tense.... Havent gotten them back yet. I have gone out and bought two more. THese will not be leaving here. I cant stand that kind of stuff. They should go and rent one or buy their own.

Ive been getting out of that kind of "flashdancing" friends ,male and female, from thier problems. Not for me anymore. They are for the most part not here for my problems.
The females are the worst at trying to get you to do the work for them and the males for borrowing tools. Either way it is not good and needs to stop. Just say no.
Also if you own a truck...be very careful about answering your phone.
Good way to lose friends and work yourself to death. Just say no. You need the day to relax...on your terms ..not theirs. Suggest that they rent a Uhaul or Ryder.

Even my parents ..I am glad to help with my time labor and moneys, but they know not to farm me out to others to get the problems of these people solved.

Want to keep friends..get out of the "flashdance phenomonon."

Orangetom

[edit on 14-1-2008 by orangetom1999]

[edit on 14-1-2008 by orangetom1999]