reply to post by Boondock78
As a person who know what it's like to be down
and I'm talking down, my advice would be to talk.
even though it may seem like the hardest thing,
you said you're married, your wife loves you, right there you have a beacon
of light, a shoulder to cry on, whether you believe she can help you or not,
she cares about you, if she didn't she wouldn't be there with you,
do not feel ashamed about your depression, but be grown up enough to try and do something about it before you let it ruin your life further.
As someone who never had that special close person to depend on, I suffered more and also went through similiar feelings of 'well I don't want to be
here anymore yet I couldn't bear the pain of actually doing away with myself, I couldn't let down those who love me'. I know those feelings, there
are hundreds of thousands of people out there who go through the same but you are you and I am me, we can only deal with our feelings, but I believe
you are fortunate in that you have a wife and I hope some friends who care about your wellbeing, the fact that you see a doc is a positive in
I have gotten over the worst of my problems which began in my youth but
I never sought professional help and I still regret it to this day, I know I might be rambling a little here but I just want to reiterate that you are
not alone, you should not feel isolated or that this is anything to be ashamed of , you're human, you have been through tough times, it's affected
your mind and all you want to do is move on and be happy but your goddamn brain is saying 'no, I'm not gonna let you', the thing is you and I and
everyone else has the power to reprogram those thoughts, turn them into positives, one by one, it takes time, sometimes it even takes medication but
most of all it takes your will, you have to set to it, and have the courage to believe that things can get better, your wife can help you, your doc is
already helping you, now just take the next step and help yourself, next time you start getting these feelings, so something different, do NOT let a
routine occur whee you know that once you start feeling depressed you do the same thing be it stay in bed or just sit on the couch or whatever, go
outside, call a friend, meet your wife, take the dog out, change the experience, make it different, start telling yourself you're not gonna let it
beat you this time, one step at a time, you will get there, my thoughts are with you and anyone
else who has ever or will ever suffer from depression or any kind
of mental pressure /pain / disease.
Good luck man!