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Deson needs advice

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posted on Jan, 13 2008 @ 11:28 PM
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OK, here is my situation in a nutshell. 3 years ago I had a fiance (My first love). 2 years ago she passed away due to kidney failure. I never was in the "dating game" I just sorta fell into things. I am presently undergoing treatment for Bi-polarism which has a effect of muting my emotions. I am a caucasian male of 47 and never had a lot of self confidence. I lead a very sheltered lifestyle growing up so I never learned howto read "signals" so in order to take a hint I ussually nead a sledgehammer upside the head to get the point accross.

I've been thinking of getting involved in looking for someone to join for the rest of my life. I have good friends who help me get by but a part of me now feels a hole in me. I simply don't know what to do. The bar scene is out since i don't drink. :w: I'm not religeous so going to church to meet women is right out. (Seems kinda wrong even if I was)

Here are my questions for those who are more "savy".

1) how does someone of my age learn how to read signals? Is there a guide somewhere?

2) How do I deal with the self confidence issues?

3) How do I know when the time is right? Or do I simply continue on and hope for the bast as I was before Lynne came into my life?

Any and all suggestions are appreciated and if anyone has any questions (my good and bad points for example) feel free to ask. You'll find that I'm very open and honest about myself. The way that I figure is that when requesting aid of this nature Lieing won't help. Besides it's not in my nature anyway.




posted on Jan, 14 2008 @ 09:29 AM
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Hey sorry to hear about your loss and the first thing you need to wrap around your head is that it is ok to move forward as soon as you are ready. The next thing is on reading body language, your age has nothing to do with anyone can learn to do it rather easily there are all kinds of guides for free online and several books on the subject.

Self esteem issues are a bit harder as for the most part they will take a conscious effort on your part to overcome, and when it comes to the dating game if you have no confidence you will not have any dates at all. You are going to have to believe in yourself when that happens you will do fine.

Just remeber that it all will take time to come together and once it does you will do just fine. The other important thing to keep in mind is to not listen to the clowns that will get on here and say you need money to land a great woman not true be comfortable in your own skin and you will do just fine.



posted on Jan, 24 2008 @ 07:05 PM
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Jovi is right.Dont listen to the clowns who look for superficial women who want things for you to buy them.

I suggest You go to a place that fits your personality. Look online, let a lady get to know you through internet, usually some people can express themselves better through writing than words, for you dont need confidence through writing.

The she can gt to know you better, and you know the rest... you will feel more comfortable in person.

Other than that listen to what Jovi said and be yourself....

peace.

[edit on 24-1-2008 by JesusisTruth]



posted on Jan, 30 2008 @ 08:58 AM
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Maybe try E-Harmony.com they are supposed to have a pretty extensive personality profile, and match people according to their answers so, as long as someone answers questions honestly (which I would assume is the case, since people are going there looking for a serious relationship, and if someone is spending their money why would they lie),your matches should I would believe have close to the same core values and likes and dislikes as you.



posted on Feb, 5 2008 @ 02:15 PM
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i didn't read the other replies so forgive me if im being redundant.
fyi, my solutions tend to be a bit unconventional - im not being sarcastic or jokeing.
well, your situation sucks. your loss combined with the bi-pol... ewe. Let me say though, congratulations on making it this far. You're firmly into the suicide age of bi-polarism. It takes a strong character to not submit to the ideation. The key to your problem lies in prostitutes. I don't know your financial situation, but if you can afford it, once or twice a week. and don't be lame about it. talk to them. ask them questions you never had the balls to ask of a woman before. they are knowlegeable, experienced, and take care of that building pressure in your loins. they can teach you to love yourself, raise your self esteem, and give you the knowledge and skills to deal with yourself and with women. ...and the sex actually helps a lot too. if you don't like the first one - get a different one. good luck
-v

ps - don't get tooo caught up in the talking and be a dork. remember, she's a prostitute - get some of that stuff! and learn to negotiate.



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