How do you discipline your children?

Was talking this over with a co-worker and about how his 2 boys are just out of control a few months back. He didnt want to hit them but he had taken everything away from them that he could. He was ready to pull his hair out. lol I suggested a little old fashioned PT (physical training) It worked for me( well more to the point it worked for my Father) and showed great results when I was in the military. Couple of months later his boys are like different people. I wish I could do this to my 2y/o .


I think the success was a result of him being involved and the kids burning a lot of the excess energy and him reasserting himself as the head of the house. Definately will do this with my son as he gets older.

What would you have suggested and why? What were your results? Other than beatings and chaining them to the pipes under the kitchen sink...

I find that strategic use of duct tape, along with super glue will usually stop any problems.
Like if he does something really bad, I duct tape my cat to him, and after just a couple minutes he's a whole different kid.

I also found that water boarding really is a very effective technique.

I can't wait for him to be bad again. My new Taser is just callin' my name.

In all actuality, I'm blessed with a good kid. He has his meltdowns, I pretty much ignore him, and in just a couple of minutes he's OK.

You know what? Roll up the Sunday comincs of the newspaper, and as they run by you repeatedlynot caring what you say, SWAT them on their buts with the paper. It doesnt draw blood, it wont ruin them psychologically, i promise.

Now, i speak from experience. I have two sons.

1. Never EVER tell them they are BAD.
2. Just tell them you are dissapointed in the way they're acting!
3. In most cases, one of the parents, or even close family is the dominant, the one "the kids" fear. Threaten them that you will get that person to straighten them out! This always works!

Treat them with respect- overall, when they are being just kids, they demand respect (doesnt everyone?)

"Mom, i want to go to the store with my friend"
Answer: Yes, i TRUST YOU TO GO TO THE STORE WITH YOUR FRIEND AND BE FINE. When will you be back?

I always told my kids i "trusted" them doing things. It worked, because they already knew i had the faith in them and they couldnt go wrong.

I could go on and on, but now that they are older and married, i can give my sons MONEY to save for me and by my telling them i trusted them for so many years, beleive me, that money is there for mom no matter when i want it!!!!

It is very important to let them know about trust, what you expect of them, seems silly now, but it really really works in a multitude of areas of their lives!!!

In closing, i dont have a problem with swatting on the bum! Lightly, of course!

I would threaten to call the cops and have them sent to jail.

After I had told them what those gnarly old cons do to fresh young boys in the joint.

Not really, I've never had any kids. I admire good parents and parenting above almost anything.

Whaaa,

I did forget to mention i wasnt always reasonable. Once the authorities found out they lived in the basement, things changed!

my son is 11 and i have never hit him and i can't imagine i ever will. if he ever gets to the point where he is like 16 and he thinks he is some tough gang banger dude and lays his hands on his mother or my wife, i will physically beat his ass. thats about the only thing i can see that would cause that.

i only get him on certain days and weekends and he is very well behaved. he gives his mother a hard time and i live close to them so i get phone calls a lot.

i don't know what she does but most of the time it just takes him talking to me. i talk to him like he is on my level and i don't yell at him. i promise that i won't scream at him and he can tell me the truth.
his mother can be hard to deal with, i know...
so, we talk it out and he tells me whats what and then i decide what to do.

i will tell him to have his psp ready cause i am going to come and take it for a few days and then i will go get it.

i figure as he gets older and into middle school and such, i will take away clothes and things like that. when you are that age, you are big on how you look and how other peopl think of you.

so for example he is 14 and giving me or his mom a hard time about something....i will be over directly to take away his name brand jeans and replace them with sweat pants or something....it is only my job to clothe him, not keep him in the finest threads.
pretty sure he'll want back in his good duds in no time....

there is ALWAYS something that can be taken away.

that is my way...may not work for everyone but thats my plan

I was beaten as a kid, so corporal punishment is completely verboten in my home. Never will I lay a hand on my kids in anger.

My daughter has currency. If she's acting out, I can threaten to take away the favorite toy of the day, or cut off her TV privileges, or tell her she's going to bed early if she doesn't knock it off. I also use sticker charts for positive reinforcement: she earns pokemon toys or fake tattoos.

My son is little, so I still pretty much physically remove him from danger -- try telling a 22 month old to stop and see how far it gets you. He'll be getting time outs in his room when he's a bit older, until I can find out what his currency is.

I also use large incentives. My daughter is doing poorly in school so I've promised her if she stops getting detentions and in trouble with the other kids, I'll take her to Chuckie Cheese at the end of the year. That's a big one for her, even the slightest hint of losing that trip, and she behaves herself.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
: she earns fake tattoos.

all i can say to this is



you roxors

I agree with the trust....In addition to my 2y/o monster, I have 4 y/o and 10 y/o daughters. I talk to them all of the time about diffent things that we see or that they bring to me. I try to keep it on a level that they can understand in their day to day lives. I love that they want to talk to me and I pray that if I keep doing this(it is really harder than I thought on the days you feel as though you have "more important things to do") that during those few years we lose them to the teenage life that they will continue to talk to me.

I try to be a role model for them every day...this also is very hard. None of us are perfect but I try like hell to be for my children.

What is it with girls and their mothers? I have talked to a lot of different people and it seems like little girls and Moms are a little "catty" towards each other. I don't have near the issues with the girls as the wife does. They seem to know what buttons to push and when to push them with her. I am trying to beat this outta them j/k. All in all they are little girls and you gotta love them. I think a lot of it is that I get to enjoy them more than she does. I am the one that takes them on "dates". (that is just an excuse to dress them up and go out for dinner while mom gets her hair done or just gets some time to herself). All in all they are my little angels...yea right

I worry about my son though...every mischevious gene I have...he got 2...

reply to post by Boondock78



doing the "star on the knee" tattoo dance I see

Originally posted by kaferwerks
reply to post by Boondock78

 

doing the "star on the knee" tattoo dance I see

you know it. my son is a fake tattoo freak too.
we will get ready to go to a movie or something and he will bring a whole sheet and want me to sleeve him up before we go.


i also think that parents need to talk and be straight up with their kids....example=one day little timmy back talks and you giggle. the next day you spank his ass. this is confusing.

i think that once something is done, punishment needs dealt out and the child should be told what will happen from then on in if it is done again.

my wifes coworker whom i call bubblehead has three kids. she is like that. her 3 year old will call her 7 year old a bitch and one day she will get unished and the next day she will get damn near encouraged.....it's sick

reply to post by Boondock78


Exactly. Consistency is KEY.

I've got 3 kids, my son is almost 18, my girls 13 and 12. Corporal punishment isn't needed in this day and age. You want to see my son cry? Take away his computer, games and TV. Works the same with the girls.

I've got a beauty trick if they don't do their chores. Don't do a certain thing? OK, I give them MORE. Don't do that, ADD MORE!!! And they can't do ANYTHING until the work is done. Works like a charm. Appeals to their laziness.

Btw Boon, there WILL be a time that you're going to have to grab your boy. My son and I get along quite well but there was that time last year that he had to be reminded who was the man of the house. I taught him all he knows about scrapping, not all I know.

Originally posted by intrepid


Btw Boon, there WILL be a time that you're going to have to grab your boy. My son and I get along quite well but there was that time last year that he had to be reminded who was the man of the house. I taught him all he knows about scrapping, not all I know.

when it comes, it comes.....i just meant that i would not get to whailing on my kid like my dad did to me....if he is that age and gets physical with my wife or his mother, that is just unacceptable.
i'll put his ass in a lock and we can have a chat as his feels like his ankle is about to snap......something....

i'll punch him real hard in the ass or something where the bruise can hide hahahah

Fortunately I don't have any but I do my best to help my sister with her three boys. Alot of it is talking to them before they do something at all, this has become the biggest key to keep them in line, it makes them think about the fact that they are probably gonna get caught. But when it comes down to actually having to lay down a punishment it depends on the infraction it can range from standing in the corner at attention for about 20 minutes to being put in their room to flat out getting spanked for it, or even some combination of them. One of the other deciding factors is how they react to the punishment being administered if they don't just shut up and accept it it simply gets increased. And after the punishment is given they are we talk to them about why what they did was wrong. But like Boondock said you have to be consistent with what should be punished and with what the punishment is.

Wait! There's another one that works like a charm. Whenever he gets real bad, and I don't feel like duct tapin' and gluin' and stuff, I go to the knife rack and hold a steak knife to his cat's throat.

"You don't want anything to happen to Fluffy do you?"

Works every time. Yeah!

reply to post by Boondock78


She thinks she such a bad ass when she has a couple of tattoos. My five year old mini me.

I always told my kids I was going to take them to live with the wild indians, and they scalp little kids that are bad. (Relax, I have a touch of wild indian in me too, so don't send me any u2u's.) My mom always told us she was going to send us to JDH

My kids were pretty good, except my daughter went through a real manipulating period that drove me crazy...and she's mouthy like her dad.
My son has a personality almost exactly like mine, so we always got along great Other than that, I told their dad to give them an attitude ajustment when they wouldn't straighten up. That always worked well.

I'm lucky, my kids are all but grown now & they never messed with things that would have brought me great sorrow...things like drugs.

Hmmm this can be a tricky area for me, not so much because of how I do things - which I would say is hard but fair.

BUT people in Hong Kong do not discipline their kids in the same way. They panda to them far too much. Usually both parents work and don't spend a lot of time with their kids, the kids are looked after by a domestic helper (Filipino or Indonesian) The DH has no authority over the kids. Children are not dumb! They learn very quickly what they can get away with and how far they can push people. I regularly see kids screaming at their DH till they get their own way. On they other hand if you are trying to reason with your kid i.e. "You can't have this because..." the chances are someone will poke their fat nose in to your business... A few times I have wanted to break said noses!

Who is the boss? The 4 year old?

Not in my house! My Boy is pretty good considering (he's just like me!!) He's 3.5 now and gets reasoning and consequences. He got an NDS for Christmas so the new "Currency" as MM puts it (I like that) is No NDS at the weekend, He's not allowed it during the week anyway. Everything in moderation right!

When he was younger he needed a smack on the hand a few times, he was very touchy touchy and the word no goes in one ear and straight out the other, with little to no contact in between. Now he gets the timeout in his room or if we're somewhere else I find a thinking chair (not allowed to call it a naughty chair the PC hippies get their knickers in a twist) and he has to sit and think, the more noise he makes the longer he has to stay there.

You just do what you feel is right at the given time with the given situation, there really isn't a lot more you can do. The worst thing that can happen is when the parents are trying to do different things and then they clash!! KABOOM!! All hell breaks loose.

Communication is hugely important within the family.

Live and learn.

MonKey



[edit on 7/1/08 by ChiKeyMonKey]