Do you remember how you had me-
My soul curled in your embrace
Emptiness resonating in all of me
A lonely and disgusting place.
That place became so familiar-
Familiarity often becomes home
Your chain around my neck tightening
And always
Always
Alone......
Lush mud clothed my naked body
As i'd pull hard against the chain
My torso snapped with a sickening snap
It felt better than my own shame.
Face down in the moist comfort
Into my flesh
My teeth would start to chew
Chomping through skin and cartilage
I believed to be me was to be you.
I had no desire to stop feeding
Nautious as i still devoured
A constant self destruction
My only sense of power.
I lunged on the chain harder
Wide-eyed as muscles contract
The jolt met with our acceptance
That my neck had finally cracked.
My body shook uncontrollably
I was covered in vomit and #
Closing my eyes and motionless
We believed it was my last hit.
I did not perish my little friend
As i lay quiet and ready to die
You did not anticipate the next moment
As you prepared to say goodbye.
I realised something lying there
While you waited to end the game
That which i had feared always
Had become my blanket - it was shame.
Without a word or muscle moved
I looked further within my soul
The further i'd peer the greater my fear
Facing the fear was making me whole.
I cannot remember the exact moment
I turned and your chain was gone
I ran through the mud and onwards
As i heard you singing your song.
I still hear your calling melody
To come closer and remember the high
But what is louder
What resonates in this moment
Is that everything about you
Is a lie.......
|
