posted on Jan, 5 2008 @ 03:20 AM
Do you remember how you had me-
My soul curled in your embrace
Emptiness resonating in all of me
A lonely and disgusting place.
That place became so familiar-
Familiarity often becomes home
Your chain around my neck tightening
Lush mud clothed my naked body
As i'd pull hard against the chain
My torso snapped with a sickening snap
It felt better than my own shame.
Face down in the moist comfort
Into my flesh
My teeth would start to chew
Chomping through skin and cartilage
I believed to be me was to be you.
I had no desire to stop feeding
Nautious as i still devoured
A constant self destruction
My only sense of power.
I lunged on the chain harder
Wide-eyed as muscles contract
The jolt met with our acceptance
That my neck had finally cracked.
My body shook uncontrollably
I was covered in vomit and #
Closing my eyes and motionless
We believed it was my last hit.
I did not perish my little friend
As i lay quiet and ready to die
You did not anticipate the next moment
As you prepared to say goodbye.
I realised something lying there
While you waited to end the game
That which i had feared always
Had become my blanket - it was shame.
Without a word or muscle moved
I looked further within my soul
The further i'd peer the greater my fear
Facing the fear was making me whole.
I cannot remember the exact moment
I turned and your chain was gone
I ran through the mud and onwards
As i heard you singing your song.
I still hear your calling melody
To come closer and remember the high
But what is louder
What resonates in this moment
Is that everything about you
Is a lie.......