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Nothing like the holidays, eh?

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posted on Dec, 25 2007 @ 09:21 PM
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They really can suck sometimes, huh? Don't get me wrong, got some cool stuff, spent the day with the folks, but I do that everyday being a minor, but I was just out of it today. I don't know why.

Today was the first time in maybe a year, that I've had suicidal thoughts. Again, I don't know why. I may be bitter that this was the first christmas after my grandfather died. Hell, I know thats part of it. But other than that, I just can't explain it. Maybe that why christmas is the number 1 day to kill yerself?

The folks were home all day, but I felt really alone.
I had this girl on my mind today, and whenever she shows her face, metaphorically of course, it's pretty much a bad day. Today was also the first day in a while I couldn't get her off my mind. I may think of her occasionaly, but that ain't a big deal. A year ago on any given day, I'd be thinking of her all the time. I'd been able to keep her off my mind for the last 4 months of so, but she was back with a vengence today.

Ah, nothing like christmas, huh?




posted on Dec, 25 2007 @ 10:24 PM
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reply to post by jtb2008
 


Are you ok now...are you posting because you STILL FEEL DEPRESSED?

I ask because, I'm honestly concerned with you.

Tell me that you are safe.

What is happening with you now?

~Ducky~



posted on Dec, 25 2007 @ 10:37 PM
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reply to post by TheDuckster
 

Yeah, I'm still alive. Don't worry bout that.
Still feeling depressed is an understatement. I ain't felt like this in a LONG time.
I'm listening to the Badlees and other depressing music.



posted on Dec, 25 2007 @ 11:06 PM
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reply to post by jtb2008
 


NO...I DO worry bout that.

Are you > :w: tonite and/or doing other stuffs?

What's happening hon?

~Ducky~



posted on Dec, 25 2007 @ 11:26 PM
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No, no:w:
Might be easier if I was:w:
I just can't get her off my mind. It might sound dumb or whatever; teenager with bad memories or whatever, but its not like that. I can take that kind of crap.
This is almost physically hurting me.
Me, her and her brother all went to school together, and they were both the best friend a guy could have.
I'm still friends with him, but not so much with her. Shes the kind of girl I could see myself spending the rest of my life with, ya know?
She knows where I live. She knows my cell phone number, if she didn't see could ask her brother. I've made plenty of attempts to speak with her, write her, what have you, but she doesn't repsond. I think she knows how I feel toward her, and she acts like I dont exist.
It may seem stupid to others, but right now Its a big deal to me.



posted on Dec, 26 2007 @ 12:18 AM
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reply to post by jtb2008
 


Hey hon...you might laugh at me when I suggest this next thingy, but I want you to try it?

HUMOR ME.

I want you to turn off the radio/tv, anything distracting, and I want you to practice 'breathing'.

"What the hell??!?" you might be thinking?

I want YOU, to do this right now:

1. Slowly...VERYYYYYYYY SLOWLY...inhale your breath in/out for 20 seconds. Here's how you do it:

be in a place that's pretty quiet.
slowly bring in your breath, through your nose - try to make it last for 5 -10 seconds. TRY. Focus on NOTHING. seriously! focus on nothing...just breathhhhhhhhhheeee. EXHALE.....Repeat this for 2-3 minutes. I promise YOU, there is a point to all of this. BREATHE THROUGH YOUR MOUTH with each 'exhale'. Repeat...REPEAT! CLOSE YOUR EYES when you 'exhale'! Find your 'breathing rythym'.

Try to hold in your breath between each exhale.

breathe in...HOLD (for a few seconds)....EXHALE...

HUMOR ME??!?! Try it hon!

I wouldn't steer you wrong...I promise!

~Ducky~

[edit on 26-12-2007 by TheDuckster]

[edit on 26-12-2007 by TheDuckster]



posted on Dec, 26 2007 @ 01:52 AM
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I don't know if I found my breathing rythme or not, but it was interesting. Are you a buddhist Ducky? Not critisizing or anything, but I have a few books on the subject, and when they mention meditating, their main focus is breathing.
I'm gona go try it again.



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