The "Garage Mahal"

I've been threatening to post this since the start of summer. Now, things have reached the point where I can no longer keep silent. . . .

When I drive into town, I frequently take a shortcut through a little suburb. On one street, the houses all have driveways that face the street. Going up the same street several times a week, you start to recognize the people, without ever learning their names or what they do, you begin to match peopel with cars and pets and spouses, etc.

There's this one house, where the garage door is often up. You can't help casually looking as you drive past, just wondering what someone is doing, getting out the lawnmower or building a soabax derby car for their kid or something.

So, driving by, I noticed this summer that there's this one garage with a guy who's always in there. On the right wall, there is like, a huge entertainment center, with a widescreen TV and a bitchin stereo system, and little cubicles underneath the TV for tapes or DVD's or whatever.

In front of the TV, there a . . . strato-lounger of some kind; you know, a recliner that might even have massage settings built into it or something.

Frau Dr says she has noticed it too. The guy has a double-door fridge along the left wall. She calls the guy's set-up his "garage mahal."

The only object that actually belongs in a garage is his motorcycle, looks like a honda goldwing, parked on a little strip of carpet so it doesn't scuff the floor.

Frau Dr. feels sorry for him; she hypothesizes that he is trapped in an unhappy marriage, and so he basically lives in his garage when he's not at work. He comes home, hands over his paycheck, and heads out to the garage, probably sleeping out there most nights.


I picture something weirder. Like, he's AWOL from the war in Iraq; they gave him a month's furlough and he run off, and living in his cousin's garage . . .

Maybe it's what happens when you're too much of a professional slacker---you end up living in you brother's garage, avoiding the fact that you haven't had a job in so long that you're functionally unemployable. Like The Dude, but without any coolness, just appliances. He's an example of what happens when you let your goofy friend stay at your place "just for a couple of weeks, until the divorce finalizes . . ."


So, here's my question: Have you ever seen this phenomenon? Is it comomn? What to YOU think this guy is up to?


It's beginnning to drive me a little nuts, just wondering what his deal is.

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Garage Mahal! Excellent name.

I lived in a garage once, when I left my first husband. It was my sister's garage. I had all my books, my bed, TV, VCR, bass and amp, etc. in there, as well as the washer/dryer. It was actually a rather sweet setup, until San Diego had a record cold snap that winter and I thought I was going to freeze to death.

Maybe he's a roommate, that's his "room" and everybody in the house has cheaper rent that way.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction

I lived in a garage once, when I left my first husband. It was my sister's garage. I had all my books, my bed, TV, VCR, bass and amp, etc.

. . . which would support my theory of a someone recovering from a split-up. (I once moved in on a couple for over a year. He works in movies, and I thought I noticed some similarities with the movie "you, me, and Dupree.")

On the other hand, most people in those shoes don't have squat. This guy has some pretty cool techno-toys; so unless he's getting alimony, he must be doing okay.

Maybe he's a roommate, that's his "room" and everybody in the house has cheaper rent that way.

I lived in a commune like that in college. definitely an angle I hadn't considered. After all, if you didn't have much rent to pay, you could afford a lot nicer bike and TV. A definite possibility.

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Well, next time you're driving by and see him, stop and ask how he got such a sweet setup.

Then you can share with the rest of the class. I'm curious now too.

I think he's a nihilist doc.

I'm sure the Dude would just walk up to the guy and find out what the story was, in a cool Dudeness kind of way of course. That is unless the guy was listening to the Eagles.

Peace

I forgot to even mention the addition that sent me over the edge into post-it-on-ATS territory:


Driving home last night from holiday shopping, I saw that the fellow had a . . .

7 ft. lighted Christmas tree.

I wonder if he's having a party. If so, maybe I can crash it; tell him I live "around the corner."

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[edit on 21-12-2007 by dr_strangecraft]

Oh this would drive me nuts! My husband doesn't call me Mrs. Kravitz for nothing. I live at the beginning of a dead end road...I see everything that goes on around me when I'm home. I'm so snoopy, snoopy, snoopy, snoopy! I would definitely stop and try to stir up a conversation with him. I'd even go as far as to make up a reason to stop... like...say "I was looking for this address?" And then go into the bit about his nice set-up...bla, bla, bla...and then wish him a Merry Christmas and be gone.

If you do stop by his place and find out what his story is, please share

I guess I'm even weirder than I thought. I'm kinda jealous of the guy. It sounds to me like he's created his own little man-cave where he can go and chill out with a couple of cold ones while he watches ESPN. He's probably in a 3 bedroom house and has a couple of kids. No room for ol' dad to get some down time in the main house after work, so he's created a "den" in the garage.

And when I say "cold ones", I mean beers. If he's stacking corpses in there, that's a whole other deal.

Then again, maybe he lives in the garage because there's couple of rusted out Studebakers taking up all the space in the house.

Yep, you need to find out and report back.

Now, for some reason, I feel compelled to go rent "The 'Burbs".

[Edit to add]
One more quick tip. In the course of conversation, if he asks for advice about getting blood out of a clown suit, have the authorities check his crawl space.




[edit on 12/21/2007 by yeahright]

Originally posted by yeahright
I'm kinda jealous of the guy.

Your very own man room. I can understnad the need for a guy to have such a place

reply to post by jensouth31


Um Jen..would that not be anywhere in the house where you pick up 'HIS" stuff from?lol
Well thanks Doc..now you have all of us Curious...

Tell ya what, I can understand this set up. Don't get me wrong, but I am so sick of football right now, I am about ready to kick they guy I live with out into the garage!

Football is his passion, but he usually falls alseep during every game. Don't try to change the channel either....sure way to wake him up!

I don't mind a few football games, but by this time of the season it's like watching a movie over, and over, and over!

:bash:

reply to post by Enthralled Fan


Great one. It's hockey here. The garage/man-cave/rec room/refuge here is a den. Same recliner, nuclear powered BarcaLounger Rio Model 7-6619 Wall Lounger (Power Activated), radar, satellite, 30 or 40 horsepower easy. I'm kidding about the nukes.

I was in a proper enthusiast's car garage yesterday. Very clean. All business. No lounging about very often there.

AD reminded of something my Dad does that drive's me right rangy. He might read this but hey, I'm almost convinced he's human since he was in hospital.

He watches that Home Improvement TV show since I was about, well since forever. He laughs at the same jokes in the same episode EVERYTIME as if it was the FIRST time he'd heard it. It's not just some episodes either... it all of them. Everytime. I've contemplated intervention. He know all of them. Everyone word for word, right? I'm 18. Please kill me. LOL. No. If they would just stop with the dumb-ass ape sounds. Are all men deaf when watching TV? I like loud but what's with LOUD! Even for guys with normal hearing. Oh yeah...

It gets worse... my new boyfriend in less than a week has been turned into a "Binford-Husband." Two visits, two trips to the den. Hooked. Ape-sounds and all... Might need de-programming to be useful. Next thing you know the Snap-On truck will pull up in the driveway and they'll start drooling or something. I like him, but "That Don't Impress Me Much." Not very, "Human Male 3.0".

Mommy says like a Stepford Wife when she's "not amused" about it. Olga says like the Borg. It makes them easy to keep track of though. That isn't what I want.

I think it's viral. MMMD, Mindless Male Media Disease or M3D for short. There is evidence to support that it can be transmitted genetically and through sexual contact automobiles and motorcysles are a common feature.

There are rare instances of M3D occurring spontaneously in women. There may be no cure. I fear I may suffer this malady but I'm too afraid to test positive. I already like cars and bikes... and male hockey players but not so much hockey. I'm a goner.

This one clip says much. the one where Tim soups up Jill's bedroom... is better. I like men who you know, do stuff and make things.

About half-way through... the recliner. LOL.



For the little they have to do in the lav you'd think it wouldn't be a problem... nothing a gasmask and Lysol can't handle. LOL. I mean how can they miss so often? LOL.

Mira

reply to post by Mira_of_lurk0more


Oh My God Girl! Rolling on Floor Laughing my ass off.!!!!
The letters alone would not convey it....
Cheers honey!

Originally posted by AccessDenied
Um Jen..would that not be anywhere in the house where you pick up 'HIS" stuff from?lol

Ummm....No! That's when they're messing up the girl space A man room in the garage is a good thing

Emergency Update! This Is A Global M3D Warning. This is not an alert. A "Garage-Mahal" (G-M) sub-variant has been spotted by the M3D Early Warning Semantic Web AI v3.0.

This one is web borne and vectored, virulent. Wild fire. Zero event horizon. 2600+ potential infections from a single source-host reservoir. It is syndromatic in nature although field data is scarce. Infecton rates are not high. Some cases approach chronic clinical psychosis and delusions of grandeur.

If this is your son please have him repaired before re-integration with society.



Mira

[edit on 29-12-2007 by Mira_of_lurk0more]

reply to post by Mira_of_lurk0more


Your father's chair isn't exactly a Rio Mir. It's the Rio upholstery and features but on the Titan frame with some other goodies. Big difference. Mine's an old Volvo by Obus Forme.

AD, some men do clean up after themselves around the house or boat. I'm guilty as charged though at least sometimes. I was checking the latest lies and conjecture about BB and I thought I'd just say thanks to both of you. Mirry, remember your words can hurt even when humour is your intent.

Cheers,

Vic

Originally posted by V Kaminski
reply to post by Mira_of_lurk0more

 

Mirry, remember your words can hurt even when humour is your intent.

I read what I wrote. It seemed funny at the time. Um, but like, yeah. I don't know the guy in the "hockey shrine" thing. He could be a non jerk-wad I suppose, or maybe an actor. I just saw it and thought it was funny. Thanx for the VH link and talking to Jake and everything.

Mira

reply to post by Mira_of_lurk0more


Now that's what I'm talking about! Both your posts, too funny!

What's with these GM type chairs?

I swear after all day Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday night football, his chair is ready for a vacation! The poor thing is like an old horse with a bad swayback.

There are permanent butt cheek indents in the thing!

I swear, I am almost praying he drops a lit cigarette in the sucker, because I think it's going to be the only way I will ever get rid of the thing!

reply to post by Enthralled Fan


It's the sweat stains and man-funk. Febreeze won't touch it... not as bad as hockey bag though. Hockey bag is the worst. Grow-tee and grotty. Total sensory assault.

Daddy has three big chairs in the den and a couple for normal sized people. It's the lack of ventilation that's the problem. He only likes dark blue leather. The cloth ones last about a hockey season. Mommy's friend knits these tent sized covers that help. They work OK but don't wash well. We tried the wood beads like the cabbies use and some other stuff.

New chair every couple of years. New slipcover every couple months in winter.

I'm glad you felt what I wrote was funny. The world needs more people to smile. Thanx Ent'!

Mira

[edit on 29-12-2007 by Mira_of_lurk0more]

NEWS UPDATE . . . . .


This just in from our Texas bureau: Frau Dr. reports that about 8:30 local time she was coming home from work, and cut through the subdivision where Garage Mahal Dude lives.

She said the door was up, even though the temperatures here are in the 40's F. She said the dude was sitting in his stratolounger, covered head-to-toe in a very heavy comforter/quilt, and was watching TV.

personally, I take this as evidence that he doesn't get along with the "boss" who lives inside. wether it's the wife, kids, or in-lwas. I fee really sorry for him. But he's still there, in January.


What do you think he was watching?

Hypothesis A:
Maybe he Tivo'ed Red Dawn, on the garage TV, and to watch it, he has to sit out there in the cold.

Hypothesis B:
Maybe he's watching March of the Penguins.

Hypothesis C:
Frau Dr. suggests that he's watching porn. . . .



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