reply to post by Conundrum04
I hear a couple of things coming through in your posts.
Maybe it was easier, back in college, for you to hook up with a certain kind
of woman without much effort on your part.
college is a special time. There are a lot of girls in college looking for a fling with a guy they are not particularly interested in having
breakfast with . . . or more importantly, building a family with.
Perhaps your tastes and expectations have changed since college. Maybe the sorts of encounters that met your needs back then don't meet your newer
For instance. I still appreciate looking at pretty women. But would I want to have a tryst with one? No. And not just because of my wife. But
because I remember how essentially lonely
it is for me to sleep with someone I wouldn't trust to hold my wallet for an hour, or to borrow my
car for the weekend without wrecking it. I want a woman who makes me feel better about myself; and she's not sitting in some bar across town--she
lives at my house.
I remember showing up at a social function, with people I admired (back when I admired people), and the pretty young thing on my arm was an
embarrassment for the entire evening. She had no idea of what I did for a living, or of the concepts and issues the people in the room dealt with
professionally. The other guests wanted to discuss politics, art, travel and 'culture.' She kept talking about TV.
That changed when I found a different life, and found a mate who makes me look good
for want of a better phrase. She makes me look good to
even though no one else is looking.
Now, all the women you're complaining about just want someone they can be proud of, someone who "makes them look good." Maybe you want someone who
makes . . . you look good (or feel good about yourself). And the women you are used to hooking up with don't do that anymore.
Point is, to me it sounds like you are projecting. Projecting your own dissatisfaction onto other people. Other people weren't put on this earth
for the purpose of loving you. Other people are not responsible for your happiness.
There is an incredible variety of women out there, like snowflakes. If you're experience is negative, then it reflects as much on your experience as
it does on the women you've dealt with.
An old girlfriend: "You are the lousiest lover on the whole freakin' planet!"
Me: "I don't believe you. That would be too much of a coincidence."
The Upshot is, not all women are money-hungry pigs. My wife makes about 20 grand a year more than I do. She has for the whole decade of our
marriage, except for two years, I think. I met her when she was finishing up a prestigious graduate program, and had job offers that paid more than
any job I've ever even applied for. And she married me when I was an unemployed, un-funded grad student. Is she a pig?
Finding a good person, a permanent thing, is hard work. Most of the men I know (I don't know you) that scream about the shortcomings of women are
unwilling to do the hard work of hunting down the one they want.
That, and they expect beautiful women to hang around with a slob who wont even comb his hair, and who cannot be bothered to take them on a real
Note: having her watch you play halo 3 with your friends is not a date. Taking her to the mall isn't, either. Unless she's the girl I was
embarrassed by at the party . . . .
[edit on 6-1-2008 by dr_strangecraft]