reply to post by photobug
That's quite the situation you have. Boy oh boy.
I try not to give out info, where relationships are concerned. (I'm the 'blind' leading the blind.)
So I'll just call it: "Note comparing"
There are many types of abuse out there. i.e. physical, mental, verbal, sexual, financial. etc. I'm sure people will post to the ones I've
forgotten to list. Appologies.
What stands out in my mind, are a few things you mentioned:
1. Emotional, physical, verbal, financial abuses
2. Children involved; imitating parents actions
3. YOUR sense of well-being - going down the tubes
Please correct me if I'm wrong; as these are sensitive issues, and I want to see if I understand where you're coming from.
It sounds as though you have been, not only a stronghold for your family, but also what I call, "a whipping/sounding board" for another person's
frustrations. I can understand the feelings of 'being depleted/spent'.
This is a case where 'going it alone' may not be the best. You need to look at what 'if any' existing support structures you have; to bring them
to the forefront to your defense. Family/friends/Councelling?
Also? How do you 're-charge' your batteries? It sounds like you are tapped out at the moment.
Another big point I want to bring up (most importantly) is the children. They are un-wittingly going to repeat these cycles of abuse as they grow
older, and God forbid, to one of their future spouses/girlfriends. We ALL have to break these cycles, if not for ourselves, then those whom we hold
dear to our hearts.
The hardest thing that people can do is to 'make a stand'; stick to our guns. Fear is holding you in its sick grip right now, and fear is keeping
you from (honestly) doing the right things, to better your self esteem.
Alot of people would tell you to get the hell out. Only YOU can decide what is best for YOU. Remember, you and I haven't met face to face, I don't
know the actual details; other than from what you posted in here, and I have to take things at face value.
Remember also, that WHAT you decide to do, you're children are involved.
Talk with a close friend. Please don't bottle things up.
Whether we see answers to our problems or not, the solutions are THERE. Don't give up!
If you need to vent, come back in here. I and others would be more than happy to talk 'with' you, not 'at' you. There is a difference.