Steve-o needs some Help-o

I've started this thread to see if there's ways to get someone out of bein' shy ..... I've got some problems communicatin' with people in the real world .... on this "virtual world" I'm the BTS Megastar .. but in real life I'm just a shy guy who can't start a good non-conspiracy related conversation . I was wonderin' if ya folks could give me some sort of advice to overcome my "fear" ..... I'm not bsin' ... I really need some help . But the weird thing is that I could talk alote around friends n family ........ but when I'm around some folks in school or on the streets I get all shy ... it's really messin' me up as a person ...... I'm tryin' to get over this so I could be able to strike a better conversation with a certain someone ..... won't name that person out .

reply to post by steve-o


WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS AS "GO OUT AND GET DRUNK!!"


I know you are still a bit young, but a shot of the "hooch" opens a lot of people up in social settings. However, I wouldn't take it any farther than that for several reasons.

1. It's highly addictive.

2. Too much will have a negative effect (IE: Acting like an ass and not remembering it)



Naturally, I only recommend this is a VERY public setting (like a club or bar).



Other than that, just practice practice practice.


Just make a habit of making small talk with people you run into say, in a line or in a store/mall/wal-mart.

In time, you'll get more and more comfortable with it.


You are an amazing artist, perhaps some art classes would help. So long as you socialize with EVERYONE in your class of course.


Jasn

reply to post by SimiusDei


I do take art classes ... but I only talk with a few buds of mine ....... it's hard for me to get into detail of what this thread is really meant for .... but besides social talk ... I need help with strikin' some good phone talk as well . I really want to improve on it 'cause I don't want to lose a certain someone over this stuff . Thanks for the advice Simi ...... I'll try to practice on that over the weekend ........ I'm soooo darn glad that you're my amigo .

reply to post by steve-o


Walking up to someone and sayin "Steve-o needs your help-o" would probably work as well.


I'm sure you could find some that thought that was cute as all kinds of hell haha.


I'm afraid I can't help you on the phone stuff man. I absolutely HATE the telephone, almost to the point of it being a phobia.


Wait, I know.

Do some podcasts!! Seriously, it opens you up a TON verbally. And you are having to put yourself out there for thousands to possibly "critique" you.

If you can do that, you should improve on the phone a bit.


I guess the best advice (as tired as it may be) is just be yourself on the phone. Relax and just let the talk flow. When you get on the phone, just go to wherever in your home you are most comfortable (i'm assuming your room) and just chill there while you are talking. Get totally comfortable. If you sit around at night in just a pair of boxers, do the same while you are on the phone. Just kinda lay back and chill and be natural.

Talk as you would to any of your buds, ya know? That's the real you anyhow right? If that ain't good enough, then it's TOO good. If you get what I'm sayin.







Hector

reply to post by SimiusDei


Hahahaha........ but you're 100% correct-o on that one amigo . I don't have the grapes to do a Podcast ...hahahha....... I'm the real life Spider-man ......... thanks for the info bro

reply to post by steve-o


DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!!


C'mon bro! I"m cheerin ya on here!! Fire up that mic (or the headphones) and throw that podcast out there.

I promise that you will open up a bit vocally after the first or second one.

Just listen to my first one compared to this last one. The trepidation is almost completely gone now.





Roll with it!




And I'm always your amigo!


Jasn (aka: the HM)

reply to post by SimiusDei

If I were to do podcasts I'd say some stuff that'll reveal a different side to the "BTS Megastar" ...... I've got alote of stuff to say on the subject of aliens, ufos, Bob Lazar , and those freaky Reptoids ( whatever the bleep they're called ) . All of this stuff is actually some pretty darn good advice ......... hope some more members pass by to help me out ......
(for other members that pass....... I need help with talkin' over the phone... I can't talk on it for some reason ....... )

[edit on 14-12-2007 by steve-o]

I used to be very shy as well. Spending to much time online, and not enough time out and interacting with others in the real world can worsen the problem. I know first hand. Always be sure to get out, and experience new things. Then later, you will have some great experiences to talk about!

If your going to party or other social event, bring a loudmouth buddy. Even if you are still shy, they will start plenty of interesting conversations that will get you talking with new friends.

As for interesting topics, current events are good to discuss. There is a wealth of information already here at ATS, enough to conversate over for hours on end.

I agree with simius though, I hate the phone as well. My girlfriend always gets mad at me because I keep our phone calls short and sweet, usually under a minute or two. Some people just can't conversate on phones.

Maybe you could both try playin WoW or some other online game/activity together to give you a break from the monotony of phone conversations. Then you could both talk to each other while enjoying an activity together.

Hope this helps!

Steve-O?

You're not the 'shy' type are ya? lolol

Ok bud...besides putting the beer to your lips...

Here's a few suggestions my friend:

1. People watch - Watch what others do and imitate them? Imitation is the most sincerest form of flattery. Find out what works/what doesn't and when in Rome...

2. Practice in a mirror - Watch YOUR expressions! This is how people see you!

3. Record your voice - Play it back and listen to how your voice sounds. Does it sound strained? Do you waver a bit? Are you speeding up your speaking? All due to nervousness!!! Practice Practice PRACTICE!!

4. Skip the ol' pick-up lines - Ditch em! Trust me...they're a dime-a-dozen. They ALL sound rehearsed...BLAH..POO POO

5. Be yourself - NO SERIOUSLY...be yourself. If you decide to follow my advice with #1, pick out the 'good' aspects from people-watching and make them 'a part of you'. Nobody wants another Jim Carrey, or another Matthew Mcconaghy, or whatever. We want to see the REAL Steve-O!

Above anything else...don't knock yourself too hard if things don't go your way.

It's life my friend...the good and the bad. Learn from your mistakes.

Most most most of all? HAVE FUN...laugh and I mean ALOT!

I personally love a guy with a good sense of humor. He doesn't have to do cartwheels or juggle or stand up comedian or whatever.

It's always nice to know that no matter what life throws your way, you can sit back at the end of the day, you can call yourself an arse, chalk it up, and laugh til tomorrow.

Anyways, Enjoy bud!

~Ducky~

Originally posted by TheDuckster


I personally love a guy with a good sense of humor. He doesn't have to do cartwheels or juggle or stand up comedian or whatever.

My sense of humor is KILLER ducky duck. Are you single?



Hehehe, just messin with ya, of course.

You give some good advice (though I'm disturbed by the "practicing in front of a mirror" one).


The best advice for the phone convos, I suppose, is just to RELAX.


A relaxed steve-o should be an a-ok steve-o.








With that, I think I'm out for the night, I actually feel sleep coming on. Can it really be so? Two nights in a row? (gah, that rhymed so homosexually)




Jasn (aka: )

[edit on 14-12-2007 by SimiusDei]

I used to be pretty shy and self-conscious.

My advice to you is to 'fake it until you make it'. Just act like an outgoing person would. It'll feel weird at first, but it will become second nature after a while.

I'm not sure what to say about using the phone, I'm on it all day for work. I have a special 'phone voice' I use - a little trick I learned from a radio announcer friend (lower tone with some good projection). My real voice and the voice I use on the phone are quite different.

reply to post by SimiusDei


Simius?

You're a SICK PUPPY!!

lolololololol

Love ya hon

(Steve-O, "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain"...lolol)

~Ducky~

reply to post by TheDuckster


Sick puppy?

Me?

Nooooo!



(

I have to do a lot of public speaking. I am also the first person many new and nervous people have to deal with at my place of employment.

First of all, Duzey's advice of "Fake it 'til you make it" is absolutely true and the best advice so far. People will only be as comfortable as you are while conversing with you.

Second of all, most people like talking about themselves or their own experiences. That fact lends itself to taking up a large amount of the conversation if you really don't know what else to say. Otherwise, there are always the obvious situational observations such as what's going on at work, school, weather, whatever.

However, when you are nervous, it is most important to remember that
MOST people are not focused on you or whether you are smart, funny or whatever...BUT really they are focused on themselves and worrying how they may appear. Additionally, whenever you find yourself getting nervous, just remember that those few people who actually are focused on you and not themselves are looking to connect with you and therefore usually want you to perform well so that they, personally, don't have to feel awkward or uncomfortable about listening or talking to you.

Hope that helps.

reply to post by SimiusDei

Originally posted by kosmicjack
Second of all, most people like talking about themselves or their own experiences. That fact lends itself to taking up a large amount of the conversation if you really don't know what else to say.

This is soooo true.

Spend an hour asking someone questions about themselves and then asking more based on their responses. You don't have to say anything about yourself at all, and they will walk away thinking you are the greatest conversationalist they've ever met.

reply to post by TheDuckster


You better get that checked chica.

You might be contagious.


I know I am.




ba da da!

Dude, wish I could be there to help you get out and about, it would be fun!!

Go to different places, try some new things. Talk to people about things that they are obviously interested in, errr go to the park and chat to people about their dogs. Most dog people are friendly... (look for friendly looking dogs, if their dog is chewing on a small child then run away!!)

Maybe (if you don't already) go to a martial arts class, that can really help with the confidence.

Is the drinking age really 21 across the whole of the States?

MonKey

steve-O, I'd like to help you there, bud. However, somoene who can't even help themself in that regard is of no use to someone just like him/her...

Originally posted by Duzey
I used to be pretty shy and self-conscious.

My advice to you is to 'fake it until you make it'. Just act like an outgoing person would. It'll feel weird at first, but it will become second nature after a while.

While that sounds good on the surface, you can't really feign something that you don't have. I mean, yeah, you can pretend for a while, but sooner or later, you're going to show your true colors. An introvert is going to be an introvert and an extrovert is going to be an extrovert. My point is: Don't try to be something you're not. Been ther done that one. I've tried to break my introversion, but I alway recede right back into it..

[edit on 14-12-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]