Your frustration and sense of disillusionment are understandable. What's more difficult to understand are your circumstances as you describe
Tertiary education isn't cheap, either financially or in terms of time. You've made substantial investments (time, effort, money) and it's
reasonable to expect a return.
Good looks are largely luck of the draw (yet usually an 'asset') but if you've described yourself accurately, it appears your personal
relationships are running against the 'norm' also, because in addition to your fortunate appearance, you're undeniably articulate, interesting,
intelligent and self-aware. Ordinarily, someone with such a wealth of assets would be magnetic, much sought.
So what is
going on ? Don't blame you for wondering, because it doesn't make sense, based on what you've said and when compared to
your contemporaries (many of lesser abilities and whom you've assisted) are apparently not suffering the mysterious impediments currently thwarting
your own progress.
It's certainly not unknown to see extremely attractive people with far less attractive partners. The reasons are many, such as the less-attractive
partner possessing what the other considers a 'great personality' ... or perhaps the attractive person is drawn to someone who reminds them strongly
of a parent. It sometimes happens though that a physically-attractive individual lacks confidence (due to a variety of reasons) and thus settles for
anyone who will accept them. Do you feel the latter applies to you ? If so, has lack of confidence always been a problem --- or did it commence as
consequence of what for you was a traumatic experience (end of a previous relationship, for example, or childhood experience) ?
I may be completely on the wrong track here, but on reflection it does sound as if (despite your many assets and abilities) you tend towards the
introspective, which in turn is often aligned with greater than average sensitivity. Such people often harbour feelings of guilt regarding their
abundance of riches (such as good looks, intellectual abilities and other inherent gifts). Often, they're not consciously aware of their guilt, but
their subconscious is and acts as a 'brake' on their progress ... in effect pulls or holds them down as a means of 'being fair' to the less
fortunate. Do you feel there may be an element of this in your life? If so, perhaps you need to find methods of 'talking with' your subconsious
and explaining to it that you were given this life and these gifts to enjoy. In short, perhaps you need to 'give permission' to yourself to
maximise the potential of your natural and learned skills and to enjoy these and your life to the fullest.
A simple means of 'speaking with' your subconscious is via a pendulum. There are numerous other methods, but pendulums provide a tangible means of
communication .. one your eyes and senses can witness (thus rendering the communication more 'believable' from your conscious mind's
You may or may not be aware that virtually everyone is restricted to a degree by what is termed 'negative suggestion'. Negative suggestions are
implanted in the subconscious -- often completely unintentionally -- during childhood, at times of heightened emotional distress. Few, if any of us,
escaped such situations. For example, a small child may be inadvertent witness to an emotionally charged incident involving their parents or other
influential adults. An example I read involved a young woman much like yourself. She was attractive, intelligent, ambitious and had done all in her
power (effort, study, etc.) to maximise her potential. Yet success consistently evaded her. When a therapist worked with her (employing hypnosis and
other techniques) he discovered that when the girl had been in early childhood, she'd witnessed a furious argument between her parents (who'd been
oblivious to her presence). The father had shouted at her mother comments such as, ' You're hopeless ! You're useless ! You're no good at
anything ! You ruin everything you're involved in ! You're a useless slut ! You'll never amount to anything ! '
As the girl grew to adulthood, she had no conscious memory of the incident. Her father's insults hadn't even been intended for her. But her
subconscious retained all of them and worked against her by repeating to her endlessly: ' You're hopeless -- you'll never succeed or amount to
anything ' etc. And it was this internal recording which was responsible for the girl's inexplicable failure despite her conscious attempts to
succeed. For when negative comments or other input is combined with heightened emotion (for example, the girl's terror caused by her parents'
argument) it 'knocks out' the mind's usual censor and gains clear access to the subconscious ... where it lodges permanently and remains as active
and fresh as if it had just occurred.
The subconscious takes everything literally. And it works very hard (continuously, night and day) to bring into fruition everything that's been
suggested to it .. good or bad. It believes it's helping us -- doing what we want it to do. But it's like a ticking time bomb that needs to be
de-fused, quite often.
Children are often exposed to negative suggestion which in turn acts in the role of self-defeating prophecy, quite often. For example, many parents
and/or teachers, etc. (out of sheer ignorance) 'prime' children to fail by saying such things as ' You'll fall / cut yourself / drown / ... etc.'
if you do that. And sure enough, the child often does
fall or cut themself or whatever.
The 'key' to implanting negative suggestion is emotion. Emotion is the carrier. It bypasses all the protective blocks the mind possesses and
carries the negative suggestion/s with it. And whilst the conscious mind in time 'repairs' from the emotional enslaught and appears to have
forgotten it ... the truth is that those words of abuse or threat or negativity etc. remain lodged for all time within the subconscious. And as they
say, when it comes to a fight between the conscious and the subconscious ... the latter wins hands down, every time.
In order to 'remove' and 'replace' those crippling, defeating negative-suggestions, you must 'speak with' your subconscious. And a handy and
independent means of doing so is via a pendulum. Or you could locate and employ an informed analyst/therapist, of course.
The Huna religion has much to offer with regard to 'making friends' with one's own subconscious (I prefer 'superconscious' mind) to the benefit
of both your conscious and subconscious selves and I suspect you'll find Huna is spiritually in tune with you, also.
If you decide to investigate Huna, the books of Enid Hoffman are to be highly recommended. I think you'll discover that your leanings towards astral
travel /OOBE (as a means of gaining insight into your situation) is very elegantly addressed by Huna, with 'instruction' provided as a matter of
Also to be strongly recommended is a book entitled 'You Can Do It Yourself With Self Hypnosis' by Charles E. Henderson, Ph.D, copyright 1983,
Published by Prentice Hall Press (division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.), ISBN 0-13-976621-9 and ISBN 0-13-976613-8 ... (1. Autogenic training. 2.
Henderson's book provides clear and simple methods of learning to use a pendulum in order to communicate with one's subconscious mind for the
purpose (amongst other things) of discovering and removing negative- suggestions and replacing them with positive ones.
Often, the 'curses' and 'hexes' we believe are afflicting us come not from spiritual realms but have a far more prosaic origin, such as those
which afflicted the non-successful girl detailed above, who had internalised insults her father, in the heat of the moment, had hurled at her
May I conclude by wishing you every success and happiness
[edit on 6-12-2007 by Dock6]