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HOW TO BECOME A REPUBLICAN

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posted on Feb, 3 2004 @ 11:30 AM
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More fun at Republicans expense...

HOW TO BECOME A REPUBLICAN

1) You have to believe that the nation's 8-year prosperity prior to W's administration was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George H. Bush, but that today's growing deficit and rising gas prices are all Clinton's fault.

2) You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

3) You have to be against government programs, except Social Security checks on time.

4) You have to believe that government should stay out of people's lives, yet you want government to regulate your personal sexual and reproductive decisions.

5) You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as it makes a profit.

6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

7) You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and former President Clinton.

8) You have to believe that society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.

9) You have to believe that it was wise to allow Ken Starr to spend $50 million dollars to attack Clinton because no other U.S. presidents or Republican men have ever been unfaithful to their wives.

10) You have to believe that a waiting period for purchasing a handgun is bad because quick access to a new firearm is an important concern for all Americans.

11) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.

12) You have to believe that the ACLU is bad because they defend the Constitution, while the NRA is good because they defend the Constitution.

13) You have to believe the AIDS virus is not important enough to deserve federal funding proportionate to the resulting death rate and that the public doesn't need to be educated about it, because if we just ignore it, it will go away.

14) You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting the morals of 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human sexuality, but the Bible, which is full of sex and violence, is good reading and right on the mark.

15) You have to believe that Chinese communist missiles have killed more Americans than handguns, alcohol, and tobacco.

16) You have to believe that even though governments have supported the arts for 5000 years and that most of the great works of Renaissance art were paid for by governments, our government should shun any such support. After all, the rich can afford to buy their own art and the poor don't need any.

17) You have to believe that the lumber from the last one percent of old growth U.S. forests is well worth the destruction of those forests and the extinction of the several species of plants and animals therein.

18) You have to believe that we should forgive and pray for Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde, and Bob Livingston for their marital infidelities, but that bastard Clinton should have been impeached.

19) You have to believe that George W. Bush really won the last election.



I think 2 and 8 are my favorites...


Nothing is true...




posted on Feb, 3 2004 @ 11:56 AM
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It was $70M spent on crotch-sniffer-gate!!!!


[Edited on 3-2-2004 by Bout Time]



posted on Feb, 3 2004 @ 04:48 PM
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I think the tiltle should probably read
How to be a harcore rightwing conservative.
I'm not a republican but I'm far from a democrat. That said I disagree with 90% of what you posted. Does that make me a democrat? No.
I support both the ACLU and the NRA. Does that make me a hypocrite? No.
I didn't like Clinton and I don't like Bush. What am I?

A realist.



posted on Feb, 3 2004 @ 04:50 PM
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Sounds like a repugnant to me.



posted on Feb, 3 2004 @ 09:05 PM
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Originally posted by Fry2
I think the tiltle should probably read
How to be a harcore rightwing conservative.
I'm not a republican but I'm far from a democrat. That said I disagree with 90% of what you posted. Does that make me a democrat? No.
I support both the ACLU and the NRA. Does that make me a hypocrite? No.
I didn't like Clinton and I don't like Bush. What am I?


A realist.


Sounds like a moderate to me.

[Edited on 3-2-2004 by TheCatalyst]



posted on Feb, 3 2004 @ 09:52 PM
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I could start a "how to be a moderate" thread but I don't feel like it.



posted on Feb, 3 2004 @ 10:47 PM
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1) You have to believe that the nation's 8-year prosperity prior to W's administration was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George H. Bush, but that today's growing deficit and rising gas prices are all Clinton's fault.

Well he only tripled the national debt, and rode the Gore's newly invented internet bubble. Leaving Bush to end out the year with Clinton’s budget which collapsed the economy after the largest tax increase in history in 1993.

2) You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

Ugh, the Kennedy's? Rich out of their minds from birth, yet worshipped, they hid it all from increasing taxes in trusts. But if liberals get their way, like Roger Moore, nobody will get rich in the first place. I saw him say flat out that people earning more than 100k should be taxed over 70%, what's the point in working if you don't have any fruition for your efforts? That's right there is none, so lets rise against the government that we blame for our crappy lives and establish total communistic equality! yay BS

3) You have to be against government programs, except Social Security checks on time.

Teach a man to fish.... There should always be a safety net for the NEEDY guaranteed 100% of the time. That's why Bush wants to help out the religious charities of ALL kinds because they have the infrastructure and the moral to do it. Sending out big billions creates corruption.

4) You have to believe that government should stay out of people's lives, yet you want government to regulate your personal sexual and reproductive decisions.

Yeah I’d like to keep people from f'n kids, animals, their family members and keep the rest the bedroom, but to then split hairs and say that other things that just happen to be real popular should all of a sudden be accepted? It's all love(like the man loving his dozen wives), you just have to have a few of the beautiful people advocate for it and sure enough people will be out in force crying about it.
For abortion, I don't get why an 11 year old can get a secret abortion cause her parents might go nuts and try and do stuff, but why don't they EVER bring up the pregnant woman minutes before childbirth might not be mentally coherent and shouldn't be allowed to tell the doctor to kill it? And why do people think that republicans want to ban ALL abortion? jeeze incest, rape, age, health all are moral factors.

5) You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as it makes a profit.

Sometimes it's a necessary evil, but you can't just force laws down the nation's throat or else the market will take a hit. For example, there is a company saw a need of disposing nuclear waste from nuclear power plants, reducing the half-life of the atoms from 1000 years to about 10 seconds with the use of lasers of odd wavelengths. But without the market need, they'd have NO reason at all to develop their technology and we would NEVER have it.
The same goes for drugs, cars, factories, etc. Another example California almost passed a bill mandating all cars have a desired MPG, ok, but then they stated that they HAVE to use electricity or hydrogen. The companies were like WTF!? cause DIESEL would have been more efficient cause they get 50+ mpg, but why didn't the legislature mention that? cause diesel was not politically correct, it just looked dirty. Sorry liberals, that IS NOT the way to do things.
ANWR's potential energy could be equaled by BIRD MUNCHING windmills stretching from New York to Florida three times btw lol.


6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

BS! like the other way around for liberals, their multiculturalist tendencies dictate that Christians should NOT pray at all to somehow make it even. Nobody cares if another religion, as long as it's not Christian is preached or prayed, (fill in numerous examples here).

7) You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and former President Clinton.

Why do we hate AIDS victims? cause they are all gay or black? Ok... Victims are truly victims and we are sorry for them, people who SIN, are NOT hated according to the religion I do not like it when people do hate the person, but it's the SIN itself that is suppose to be hated and that's not all relegated to republican's sorry.

8) You have to believe that society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.

Just because he's black doesn't mean he's some enemy, I agree with a lot of his views but it's also prudent to vote for someone who can possibly win with only a general match in what you believe (example: Kerry). Why don't all democrats vote for Jackson or Sharpton? how RACIST! jeeze what a joke. You can easily see that Alan Keys are not the rabble-rouser that others might be, nor does he have the CASH to spend.


9) You have to believe that it was wise to allow Ken Starr to spend $50 million dollars to attack Clinton because no other U.S. presidents or Republican men have ever been unfaithful to their wives.

Um, he lied under oath in front of the nation, there was A BOAT LOAD of baggage about rape and semen and people mysteriously dieing. He was doing it on the nation's time dime. He created a lot of distractions like attacking Slobodan for the mass graves (and we know it was a distraction because liberals don't care about mass graves. Example Iraq and North Korea…lets just talk)

10) You have to believe that a waiting period for purchasing a handgun is bad because quick access to a new firearm is an important concern for all Americans.

That’s really a non issue I think, people feel safer that proper precautions are being taken. Changes are hard to take sometimes, but I think people have gotten used to it, it’s insane to let someone just buy an arsenal instantly given terrorist threats.

11) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.

It’s ok to have condoms available, but not to the extent where they are brandished and left in a heap on a table in a hallway. Kids think it’s a joke and waste them.

12) You have to believe that the ACLU is bad because they defend the Constitution, while the NRA is good because they defend the Constitution.

Now that’s kind of funny because it’s somewhat true. Though the ACLU has had some positives, they are also forcing their agendas down the throats of communities around the nation. They will N E V E R pick up the case about the kid getting his financial aid pulled for taking a Christian major, but they will pick up the many that will further a radically liberal viewpoint.
The NRA has been so demonized, they just defended a bill that would ban all 50 caliber guns, yeah people don’t need a small cannon in their hand, but the bill was ignorant of what shotguns were and shotguns are far less dangerous cause they do not travel anywhere near as far and they serve many responsible uses not just being evil and shooting people.

13) You have to believe the AIDS virus is not important enough to deserve federal funding proportionate to the resulting death rate and that the public doesn't need to be educated about it, because if we just ignore it, it will go away.

Huh? Bush proposed a lot of money to prevent the spread of AIDS. As for just general funding for AIDS victims, we have to draw the line on spending millions on saving a person’s life for a week.

14) You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting the morals of 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human sexuality, but the Bible, which is full of sex and violence, is good reading and right on the mark.

Well there can still be principles on teaching children the Bible, it’s not like they get all the saucy stuff when they are little lol. I don’t get why people stereotype the bible and god as being all vengeful and tossing wrath left and right. The new testament is truly the book of God’s unlimited love. Well 6th grade was pretty young to teach it when? The 50’s? more like college lol This sex crazed culture has dictated that we should really be getting to the kids earlier, people who are detached from this Brittany culture are justifiably opposed to sex education being so early. We should really be making sure the culture does not get out of control with their super bowl half times and all lol

15) You have to believe that Chinese communist missiles have killed more Americans than handguns, alcohol, and tobacco.

Well they sure can though. Tobacco? People called them coffin nails back in the 20’s any idiot knew that tobacco was unhealthy, who cares if someone lied about it. Handguns? If someone wants to kill someone they’ll use anything lethal, there was a man who ran into a building and killed 15 people with a kitchen knife, more kills than most pistols have bullets! They really have UNLIMITED KILLING CAPACITY! OMG let’s demonize and ban knives.

16) You have to believe that even though governments have supported the arts for 5000 years and that most of the great works of Renaissance art were paid for by governments, our government should shun any such support. After all, the rich can afford to buy their own art and the poor don't need any.

What!? When do we draw the line on spending? Are not the liberals complaining about deficits and unneeded spending? I always had art class in grade school, multiple classes in high school and I was required to take art in college. Broadway is flourishing; who made you think art is not liked? Though there are some oddballs like the people bitching about the feces Mary in NYC, but that shouldn’t spoil art for everyone. If the government spent billions on supporting museums and theaters and the rest, they’d have to force people to go see it, like the do now with kids lol Let the market determine the level of art people will want to go see there is nothing stopping a museum that enough people want from being built.

17) You have to believe that the lumber from the last one percent of old growth U.S. forests is well worth the destruction of those forests and the extinction of the several species of plants and animals therein.

Harvard released a study saying that logging actually supports tree growth because it allows the market to dictate how babied forests become because of their value. Trees grow back, and in just Vermont the amount of forests has grown 800% from the early 1800’s back when they needed every inch of land for sheep farming. The nation has to strike a balance vs use and preservation, to little use can lead to total destruction from fires while too much use can lead to odd species growth and unneeded species lost. I have worked as a forester for the past 5 years and I can send you a pamphlet on a lot of factual pros and cons with logging.

18) You have to believe that we should forgive and pray for Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde, and Bob Livingston for their marital infidelities, but that bastard Clinton should have been impeached.

We should forgive and pray for Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde, and Bob Livingston!? They sinned, bad for them, they are still humans, but who really cares? We are still finding out ramifications from Clinton that’s why we should care about him.

19) You have to believe that George W. Bush really won the last election.

Man liberals just can’t get over this. Don’t mention that the ACLU tried changing the rules in court mid the counting and was immediately found unconstitutional. Don’t mention that many major liberal press and institutions have found from recounting and research that bush truly did win Florida. Don’t mention that they didn’t count the LEGAL off shore votes from hundreds of military servicemen who would have voted 80+% for Bush. Just like the little kid on the playground, when the rules don’t go your way, bitch and cry about it.

I think people should think.



posted on Feb, 5 2004 @ 08:41 PM
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Originally posted by Colonel
Sounds like a repugnant to me.



how many dems do you see voting for al sharpton?



posted on Feb, 9 2004 @ 12:44 AM
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VOD....6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

7) You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and former President Clinton.

8) You have to believe that society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.


You have to be the most representative ignoramus for democruds to exhibit.

#6- Good lord man! Are you out of your mind? I think Jay Sekulo would see all those who profess belief be enabled the chance to pray any time, any day.

#7- this must be why Bush is expanding the AIDs package to Africa.....stupid azz. Do you really buy the prop that Bush is a hateful, white, slavemaster reincarnated?! Dumbazz U.
do you really understand what it takes to undrtake the running of this Nation?
No, I don't think so.

Homosexuals are not a MINORITY. Could I tell you were Homosexual by looking at YOU? maybe....maybe not. How would I discrimate against you immediately then????!!

Has GB said he hates gays? Has he said he wishes to deny them rights? NO. He says that MARRIAGE is sacrosanct between a MAN AND A WOMAN.

ADAM AND EVE


#8 I am of color and would vote for Alan Keyes just on principal because, unlike many, he will consistently stand up for his beliefs against the mad horde that would abuse him.



posted on Feb, 9 2004 @ 07:40 AM
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All I'm saying is this.

Louis Logic-The Ugly Truth.Mp3



posted on Feb, 9 2004 @ 07:59 AM
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Tyriffic: there is one way to discriminate against gay people...the gay voice. Not all gay people have it, but only gay people have it.



posted on Feb, 9 2004 @ 09:31 AM
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democrat, republican, who cares????
its the same BS (sooo corney)
just diffrent lies.
its all right wing propaganda!

HAIL SOCIALISM!



posted on Feb, 9 2004 @ 11:48 AM
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Originally posted by disturbence
HAIL SOCIALISM!


BOO! HISS, BOO!

Winson Churchill said that democracy is the worst possible form of government, except all others.

Great socialism, a country with even more control over the people. Why don't we just go a. and make it an oligarcy or a dictatorship to start with.



posted on Feb, 9 2004 @ 12:14 PM
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it was a ironic remark (duh..)

but since you brought it up, true socialism proclaimed by marx points out the huge importance that the individual must evolve freely in order for the Society to evolve.

to compare the original Ideology of marx and eng. to stalins rule of horror thinking its the same thing is pointless and a bit hypocritical.

kinda like embracing right-wing policy and christianity

[Edited on 9-2-2004 by disturbence]



posted on Feb, 9 2004 @ 02:16 PM
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I see what you mean. Sorry, kinda took that the wrong way.

I've never been a fan of socialism or leftist authoritarian systems, nor a fan of aristocracy or fascism. Too much control in the hands of too few people. Power corrupts.



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