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The following letter was delivered to the columnist by a beaver messenger swimming down the Charles River.
As representatives of the American Beaver Association, we feel we must correct the negative image of beavers perpetuated by both The Tech and MIT community. We highly resent being termed “Brass Rats” or as described in a recent column, “nibbling, muddy, oversized rats.” We also disapprove of the constant comparisons of MIT students to beavers as well as the use of the beaver as the MIT mascot.
The ABA was initially pleased to learn of MIT’s cultural association with the beaver. Having nearly been hunted to extinction, it was refreshing to finally get some appreciation and notice. However, beaver agents who have paddled down river towards campus have submitted extremely alarming reports about the behavior and culture of MIT students. These reports were so frightening that the ABA council felt compelled to distance our reputation from those of MIT students.
Though both beavers and MIT students achieve degrees in engineering, the similarities stop there. First and foremost, beavers are physically gifted and socially adept animals. We don’t need a swim test! We were born to swim. We are also highly evolved when it comes to communicating and socializing as evidenced by our skills in romance, something many MIT students lack. Upon reaching adulthood, all beavers easily find their mates for life. More importantly, we find mates within our own species and see no need to bus “Wellesley Girls” into our domain.
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