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I officially announce my candidacy for President of the United States!

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posted on Nov, 15 2007 @ 01:50 PM
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Thank you!! and how about the enema thing. Not just for the constipated anymore right?




posted on Nov, 15 2007 @ 02:20 PM
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reply to post by Voyager1
 




I'd vote for you EB, I would just like to see everyone healthy, be able to pay their bills and have the things they need and a few luxaries or at least able to rent a luxarie for a few moments. Thats not too much to ask for is it? If no one was broke, no one would have to beat some one out of something. I'm rutin for you man.


Wo! Take it easy. Rome wasn't built in a day. If I become your president, I will propose a new bill that allows all Americans to have a free comfy chair (if they do not already have one). I am all for luxuries such as this for everyone. As far as everyone being healthy? I will have to turn down a lot of kick-backs from Big Pharma, the AMA and the FDA to make that happen. I don't see that happening at this juncture.

What's wrong with people beating stuff out of each other? This is the way it's always been. Survival of the fittest. Mano a mano!! My father used to say: "Shut up and eat your turkey pot pie." I think that says it all.



posted on Nov, 15 2007 @ 02:37 PM
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reply to post by ChiKeyMonKey
 




Also I've had many excellent experiences with...Thai lady boys.



Chikey. I have been told by many of my constituants and cronies that they will revoke your nomination as VP based on this statement. Please explain so we can progress.

What exactly is a Thai Lady Boy? Did you mean Thai Lazy Boys? As in, Lazy Boy recliners made in Thailand? If yes, are they comfy?



posted on Nov, 15 2007 @ 02:54 PM
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Why don't you pony up...

And really declare your candidacy?

Just a thought.




posted on Nov, 15 2007 @ 03:44 PM
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E_B, I implore you, trust them not. They are as serpents in the tall grass with their forked tongues, scaly skin and their treachery.

Be pure in your quest!

We don't need no stinkin badges!



posted on Nov, 15 2007 @ 04:01 PM
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reply to post by whaaa
 




We don't need no stinkin badges!



We don't? I'd like one that says "Prez." If I can't have a badge, can I have a gun? If I can't have a gun, can I at least have a pointed stick?



posted on Nov, 15 2007 @ 04:14 PM
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No, I'm very sorry no pointed sticks either. Remember when I killed that gopher accidentally. I still grieve for that little guy.

However could I interest you in a very flexible piece of rubber tubing?

Maybe a nice strip of foam rubber.

Ok, damit you can have a badge. But a proper badge with a big chunk of Morenci, and six points, not five like the monkeys like.

[edit on 15-11-2007 by whaaa]

[edit on 15-11-2007 by whaaa]



posted on Nov, 15 2007 @ 09:26 PM
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No No it was Ladyboys I'm quite sure! And there are far too many pictures for me to deny it.

Personally I though my distaste for the French would have been more of a problem, at least the lady boys are interesting, productive and their shows go towards kick backs err tax and stuff.

I would just love to be able to say something like that about the French...

But...

I can't

If this continues to be a problem, perhaps I could be moved to a less high profile position within the government I feel the position of SecDef or the DefSec I as like to think of it would be a fantastic place for me to start my political and military ambitions.

Two birds with one stoner, if you will.

Best of luck with your stinking badges.

ChiKeyMonkey




posted on Nov, 15 2007 @ 10:02 PM
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EB, ya got my vote.

Hell you can have all my money too. The rest would take it anyway but at least I can count on you to give me some descriptions of your spending while your in Hawaii and FIJI. Have a couple of bottles of Dom on me, please. Will willfully giving you my money get me a position in government? Anything will do. Minister of Finance, Secretary of State. Ya know, just a small job. I promise I'll lead us into as much trouble as possible or spend a couple of mil on getting your badge ironed hourly. Even if your wearing it.

And with a monkey as your running (pri)mate, you'll fit right in!

I can't give up my Canadian citizenship though. When I do the Conrad Black, I need some where to get deported to. Can't go to jail in America.



posted on Nov, 16 2007 @ 07:17 AM
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reply to post by whaaa
 




However could I interest you in a very flexible piece of rubber tubing?



Yes.....I would like to have the flexible rubber tubing. Is it lubricated?



Ok, damit you can have a badge. But a proper badge with a big chunk of Morenci, and six points, not five like the monkeys like.


Morenci? I'm sorry...am I dense? I honestly haven't a clue what Morenci is? Is it Italian? Is it a type of cheese? Hey...I just checked, and it's actually a little town here in Arizona......with a big copper mine. The biggest copper mining operation in North America? Is Morenci slang for copper? Is copper slang for police officer? Are you making fun of me?



posted on Nov, 16 2007 @ 07:24 AM
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reply to post by ChiKeyMonKey
 




No No it was Ladyboys I'm quite sure! And there are far too many pictures for me to deny it.



Hmmmm....well, are they 18 or older? If so, you can still be my VP. Just keep any behavior that could be considered politically incorrect out in the open. We want the people to know how
up we are. Our corruption is to be honest and fair. Fair to us and our friends!!



Personally I thought my distaste for the French would have been more of a problem



Actually, I find your distaste for the French quite charming and I'm sure the American people will as well. So, discuss it whenever possible!!



posted on Nov, 16 2007 @ 07:44 AM
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reply to post by GAOTU789
 




EB, ya got my vote.

Have a couple of bottles of Dom on me, please. Will willfully giving you my money get me a position in government? Anything will do. Minister of Finance, Secretary of State. Ya know, just a small job.


Thanks for the vote and I'm sure I have a position for you. Minister of Finance? Hmmm.....how are your math skills?? Will you make sure to keep two sets of books?



And with a monkey as your running (pri)mate, you'll fit right in!

I can't give up my Canadian citizenship though. When I do the Conrad Black, I need some where to get deported to. Can't go to jail in America.


Yes...there certainly are a lot of monkeys in Washington! Oh, you're Canadian? I am half French-Canadian myself. Maybe we are related, eh? I will make sure there is plenty of beer on hand in your office and I will have a hockey rink installed on the grounds of the White House!!

Again, I am feeling naive or maybe just old. What is a Conrad Black? Okay, I just googled it. Hmmmm....too much reading for my taste. But, he is some sort of criminal/politician?? I am impressed that Warhol did a portrait of him. That makes him okay in my book!!

I will see to it that if you get deported, it will be to someplace nice like......New Zealand? I plan to stop there after my stay in Fiji. I think it is important that I do a full tour of the Pacific during my campaign. This is why I need EVERYONE to keep those pledges coming in. I am almost at a quarter million now...compared to the other candidates, that is just chump change.

I am playing it smart, however, and not wasting your money on silly things like advertising. Those other idiots are out of control wasting the money of their followers like that!! BTW, I picked up Ground Force One yesterday:



Keep those donations coming!


[edit on 16-11-2007 by Excitable_Boy]



posted on Nov, 16 2007 @ 09:23 AM
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E_B, E_B!! What will you do about the deplorable state of housing? I once rented what seemed like a nice apartment, but it turned out I could hear every sound of the lovemaking that went on next door. What national standards would you put in place?


six

posted on Nov, 16 2007 @ 09:50 AM
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Canidate E_B, my question concerns your health. Did you get that drippy thing taken care of? With ChiKey as your running mate, some may be worried if your health takes a turn for the worse ya know



posted on Nov, 16 2007 @ 10:48 AM
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reply to post by desert
 




E_B, E_B!! What will you do about the deplorable state of housing? I once rented what seemed like a nice apartment, but it turned out I could hear every sound of the lovemaking that went on next door. What national standards would you put in place?



Desert! Desert! Housing....hmmm. That's a doozy. I would put a bill through to Congress that anyone living attached to anyone else would not be allowed to have noisy sex, whether it be an apartment, duplex, town home or otherwise. Only people that live in single family, stand alone homes would be allowed to make sounds of any kind during the act.

Anyone caught breaking this new law, would be shot, buried in the desert or worse.



posted on Nov, 16 2007 @ 10:53 AM
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reply to post by six
 




Canidate E_B, my question concerns your health. Did you get that drippy thing taken care of? With ChiKey as your running mate, some may be worried if your health takes a turn for the worse ya know



What does my drippy thing have to do with anything? But, because you asked, I did see a doctor and get some penis-illin. And....Chikey Monkey would make a fine president if something happens to me, i.e. if the CIA were to send an MKULTRA assassin to whack me.


six

posted on Nov, 16 2007 @ 10:55 AM
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You cannot dodge the question of your health for ever.....soon it will sting...and swell and......you cant hide it



posted on Nov, 16 2007 @ 12:07 PM
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Sting and Swell....

I think we have our campaign slogan!!


This campaign Is gonna be a Juggernaut. Get on board or die.

[edit on 16-11-2007 by whaaa]


six

posted on Nov, 16 2007 @ 12:17 PM
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Well I am glad I could be of service to the new pres..I only hope that he remembers the little peoples backs he tread on to arise to estimed postion he seeks



posted on Nov, 16 2007 @ 02:33 PM
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Sting or Swell? Kind of like Eat or Be Eaten?

Whaaa....I need your help here. I'm not sure how to market this new slogan. Some suggestions would be greatly appreciated minister.



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