feeling the religious love

so my brother in law and his fiance' are getting married on decemner 8th.
they are getting married by a baptist minister....friend of the brother in laws family..same guy that married my wife and i...i am not religious so i didn't care.

date is set. invites are out. everything is paid for..
over the past few days the fiance's mom has been giving her a hard time because she is not getting married in a serbian orthodox church with a serbian orthodox minister.

she has been all over her non stop about how terrible it is and that this MUST mean that she is converting and OMG OMG...just being a total bitch about it.

this is her daughers wedding day(btw, she is 37 years old. my bro in law is 34)...second marriages for both.

people at the church have been riding the mom to try to convince the fiance' to get married the churches way..

ALSO, i was talking to her today and she told me that if they were to get married in that church with the minister(the serbian orthodox one), they would both have to sign papers saying that if they had kids they would be brought up in that church with that lifestyle...man, wtf


anway, just wanted to give another primo example of the church/religious people going out on a limb to make people feel the guilt and to pressure them into doing things a certain way...

the funny thing is, they just got back from florida and were gonna get married down there but waited so both families could be a part of it...

nice eh?

for mom to friggin lambaste(proper word?) for getting married how she wants to at 37 years old....

the mom has been in her words 'damanding' a serbian orthodox minister but if she can not come to her senses, then at the least it MUST be a non denominationl minister or whatever he is called.

unreal..

feel the love baby....feel the love...

Do these people realize that no matter which domination it is, it's still christianity? The mom sounds like she is acting as if her daughter is denouncing Jesus and becoming a satanist or something.

reply to post by snowflake_obsidian


Yeah that's true, they are both still believers, I don't see what's the big deal.

Who cares if they don't want to get married the Baptist way or the protestant way or whatever. As long as both of them believe I don't see the problem.

i don't know the deal man...

this lady is a very nice lady(the fiance')...i think she is probably the best thing to happen for my bro in law and he is good for her.....i was skeptical at first but they are happy.

i have only met her mom a couple times and she is kinda flaky. real bubbly...

i don't understand how it all works. we had the same dude marry us cause he is a friend of the family. he is a baptist i guess.

i just found that out yesterday...all i knew was he was a minister. i didn't care at all.

all i do know is her mom is freaking out and some of the people at the church are really putting the pressure on the mom, to put the pressure on the fiance' to do what the mom(prople at the church) wants.

she is holding her gound and i hope she does...she should tell her mom to stuff it i think

From what I am observing from hearing about your situation and my friends weddings, and my own since I am currently planning mine, I am learning this:

Mothers + Weddings = major drama.

I don't know what it is, maybe mothers feel insecure because all the attention is on their child instead of them, or they feel that because their child is getting married, this is their last chance to try and have some major control over what their child is doing. It's not just brides mothers either. I remember at my best friends wedding, the grooms mom got obnoxiously drunk and was trying to kick people she didn't like out by saying the newly married couple didn't want them there.

reply to post by snowflake_obsidian


i don't think so. my wifes mom didn't do it to her. bro in laws mom ain't doing it to him. my mom didn't do it to me...

as i said...some members of the church are putting pressure on the mom who is putting pressure on the daughter...

the issue is it is not a serbian ortho wedding.
not a serbian ortho minister

I understand, however there are a lot of people in the same situation who would be fully able to tell their parish, "Hey this is my daughters choice, I'm standing by her" and not act in the way her mother is currently acting.

it's just idiotic tribalism....

why is it that tribalism is at the root of so many of our ridiculous problems like this?

Ain't it grand? People getting eight shades of hell over what flavor of delusion to have their marriage sanctioned in.

Tell her to threaten to elope to Vegas and be married in the drive-thru Elvis church. Maybe her mom will STFU then.

Got some linkies:

www.elvischapel.com...

www.theelvisweddingchapel.com...

www.vivalasvegasweddings.com...

www.vegasweddings4u.com...

Lots of different Elvii -- no waiting.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
Ain't it grand? People getting eight shades of hell over what flavor of delusion to have their marriage sanctioned in.

i talked to her last night and this morning and aside from a little stress, she is doing ok and has told her mom the deal...i guess this is the normal process for their relationship...

mom guilts the hell out of her...she feels bad till she can't take it anymore and lays it down....mom goes along with it....

the funny part of this is the dad agrees with the daughter and my bro in law, but with the exception of the ocasional "for christs sakes cathy stop", he really don't step in and like, speak up for his daughter.

you know, this is a second weding for both of them and she wanted it nice, but small(big for me) and she wanted it witnessed by the thing they call god...apparently to her it does not matter the demonination.

i just don't see how a mother can come down on their daughter about something like this, especially when the daughter is 37.
37 year woman. dealing with arranging a marriage, just getting back from florida, and top it of with mom being a beehotch.



i'm sure when the wedding day rolls around, the mom will be bopping around there all bubbly as hell, fake face on, smiling and laughing and i GUARANTEE you she gives her crap about something that day..

really boggle the mind.

" do you feel the love"

No, but I feel the unsincerity.

Look. the mother is naturally concerned about being married in the church of God.

Jesus created one, with one set of valid ministers, and shes giving a bad time out of a sincere motive.

Thats real love. But the lax person says, get married whereever you want, even at the 5 dollar toll both..

I completely understand it.

peace.

reply to post by JesusisTruth


...it shouldn't really matter who marries you where, should it?
isn't the commitment to love and be faithful all that matters

and where did jesus outline marriage ceremonies?
i must've missed that part of the bible

HAHA! Yep that's the surefire way to get any bossy mom to shut her trap. That's basically what my best friend did. "Mom, shut your trap or I'm eloping"