Elevatedone- yes I caught the humor! And it is appreciated.
I wrote a satirical article about Handicapped parking a couple of months ago that I posted on another forum. Here's a portion:
As a person with disabilities with no special parking needs, I currently find myself in a position as observer to the various abled individuals who
park in the handicapped parking slots. I see them at grocery stores, the bank, the library, the post office, etc... Im not surprised that many
individuals park without reading the sign or simply disregard it all together.
During my observations, most of the enabled are from all walks of life, with a deer caught in the headlights look as they climb out of the car,
running hastily inside their coveted destination. Who are these people?
I even asked a friend of mine who uses a wheelchair; lets call him Fred, if this appeared to be a concern. Fred had many choice words regarding
this issue, some I cannot print. But he did elaborate on the following: Many times I have had to park a long way out, while much abled people
parked in disabled parking without a care in the world.
So, I decided to do some investigating. Perhaps Fred is too emotionally involved regarding the subject. During this investigation, several
occurrences presented themselves. A typical example happened just the day as I walked across the parking lot of my local post office . A woman in her
60s slid her freshly washed car in front of a handicapped only sign. I couldnt see a decal but remembering my conversation with Fred and
recalling my city's stiff penalty laws, my curiosity peaked. I didnt want to see her nice car become the victim of a tow trucks wrath, nor see her
get slapped with a $250 fine she could use for donating to her favorite charity.
Besides, that space is for Fred. So, like a Good Samaritan and friend, I waited for her to open the car door.
When a high heeled foot planted itself firmly on the concrete, I asked as nice as you please, Can I help you, maam?
For the first time she appeared to notice me, a nice looking woman with graying brown hair and brown eyes which darted left to right like a deer
caught by some predators rifle. She paled and cleared her throat. No thank you, dear. She stammered and placed her leg within the safety of her
Acura. I was about to reply when she closed the door, started the engine, pulled out of her coveted spot, and swiftly drove away.
In my investigation, I concluded that besides the disabled, two additional groups get first draft parking. There are the ones who think they are
exceptions to the rule and secret societies. I dont desire to accuse anyone of anything that I know little or nothing about. So, I wrote a list of
potential suspects below so everyone may understand the phenomena more clearly.
Individuals voted as employee of the month at their workplace
Western writers and cowboy types who think their car is a horse.
A secret society that only parks in these spaces so they may recognize each other.
People who use their disabled friend or family member as a human shield to borrow their car and park.
But unfortunately Riff is right, it's more than wheelchair accesability but broader and deeper as Corporate fascists weed out the middle man-
including all types of persons with disabilities and disorders.