The Senses of Emotion

My heart
Has been destroyed
More often then I care to recall.
It had always grown back before, but, finally, exhausted,
It slumbered in my breast.
I found myself
A prisoner
In a hovel of my ashes –
Trapped in the dank, dark
Forest of my grief.
The stars wheeled overhead uncaring,
In a void,
The larger sister of my own emptiness.
In my grief, I waited
Through the long years
It was quiet, and frozen.
I grew quite numb
Until it didn’t hurt anymore.
I knew myself to be untouchable.
The sun of my life
Was eclipsed with dark clouds
Of sorrow.
I had thought myself unlovable.

But then a miracle of mystery
Appeared between the rotten trees;
The light of the sun,
Of Life, streaming through your eyes.
It touched my heart
And the trees, burned by your love
Dissolved away to nothing.
And I could hear
In the new, silent peace,
The birds of happiness
Singing their song for us.

But in the end,
This, too, was a lie.
Your love offering was false –
An illusion thrown up by my hopes.
The sun in your eyes
Burned out –
All that was left, a cold malicious gleam.
Dangerous, careless, thoughtless.
No love, me just a tool.
My life a series of stepping stones
For you to tread on your way elsewhere.
Again, I find my heart destroyed.
This time I shall keep it dust.
Dust feels no desire,
But it also feels no pain.
But the hurt –
It echoes in the hollow
Where once my heart was.
The loneliness is almost more
Than I can bear.
The pulse from my dusty hollow
Echoes loudly in my solitary ears.
If love is blind,
Why is loneliness not deaf?
Why does dust remember
And still suffer?

I used to write poetry constantly, but lost the knack when my storage locker was auctioned off along with hundreds of my poems, years ago.

I found this one I started in 1996 just today, while looking for an old journal. The last stanza was added today.

At the time I had no idea that it was unfinished. I was still caught in the web of lies.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
I found myself
A prisoner
In a hovel of my ashes –

The stars wheeled overhead uncaring,
In a void,
The larger sister of my own emptiness.

I really enjoyed the imagery here, i felt it was worth pointing out. Overall the grief put forth in this poem is piercing and raw. Flagged and starred.

I hope to see you lurking around, and I hope you read this MM.
Your poem is FABULOUS.So many women could have written those same words.You have connected with many.
AD