Kids Is the Crrrraziest Peoples!

I'm starting this thread for those of us who are parents of small children, who are known for their amusing world views. If you don't have kids, but have been around ones that have said similar amusing things, feel free to join in.

My daughter is just now in the bath. She's been shouting at me, something about scuba diving. This is the kid who freaks out if a drop of water gets in her ear or anywhere within a six inch radius of her eyes.

I go into the bathroom to see what she's bellowing about and she tells me again she's scuba diving. She's lying on her back in the water with the water over her ears -- which explains the shouting.

I tell her I'm proud of her that she's gotten over her being afraid of water in the ears. She tells me it doesn't even hurt. I say, I know, it's not supposed to.

Then she says, "You know what I like best about it? It's getting my brain wet."

Which leaves me wondering, is that why she was afraid of water in her ears all this time? That she was afraid it would hurt her brain?

Kids are weird. My kid especially.

(That's why I love her so much)

Hahaha very good, some sound logic going on there!

My little boy is 3. The other day his friend's mother told him she had a baby in her belly and all he could say was

"Why did you eat the baby, that's not very nice!"

Also he likes to announce all of his bodily functions at full volume and thanks to my wife, who some times doesn't quite get that not all words in English are fully appropriate for three year olds it goes a little like this...

"Daddy, Daddy."

"Yes Sausage."

"I did a really really big FART Daddy."

"Really."

"Yeah, I'm a stinky little bugger!"

From the mouths of babes, always the truth!

MonKey

awwh how cute. how old is your daughter? My younger one had the fear of the drain for while and you dare not pull the drain open while he still had a toe in the tub...

btw..I just finished cleaning up the bathroom in which two boys each spent half an hour in (separately) having their own bathtub adventures, while they still played with each other...

One was actually making swimming motions in the tub while the other was pretending to be a monster from outside the bathroom...hence the clean up..

then afterwards they made so much noise just walking down the stairs. You'd swear 500lb men were stomping in my house. Sent them to bed an hour ago, it's only now quiet in their room, at bedtime is when "they remember everything" or "suddenly need something"... i'm grateful for the peace and quiet right now but I realize that soon they'll growing out of this stage, so I try to enjoy even their most mischievious behaviors... and sometimes I have to be mad at them, but afterwards I can't help but laugh at them. I've got quirky kids too...the 9 year old especially.

ChiKey, you made me bust out laughing!

WW, my daughter's five. And she has an imagination that is as infinite as the universe. I've heard of brain washing, but never so literally.

Ah you know, my daughter is only 8.5 MONTHS old and i already see this special little person emerging. We sing with her and she tries to mimic the words. And if she doesn't like something she gets this stern little look and she says "hey" or "Hey dad".

The other day she was flying around the house in her walking ring and went into the bathroom. There was a small cloths rack in there which she grabbed and pulled. It toppled over a bit onto her walking ring (not heavy) and she sat there, while i was standing behind her, and said "daddyyyyyyy"

All this and more she does and she is ONLY 8.5 months. She reeeeally has her moms looks

We have this little compactum and she was sitting on it and it has all these animal pictures and my wife was showing her the lion. Well my wife called me and i went to look what had happened and she said to my daughter, "whers lion" and she looked at my wife, pointed her little finger and put it right ON the lion!!

Oh lord. I would welcome another LOL

[edit on 2/11/2007 by shearder]

I was embarrassed by an 8 year old nephew in a grocery store one day.

He had to go to the bathroom while we were doing some shopping so we went to the back of the store and asked one of the staff if there was a washroom he could use. Well we found the bathroom and in he goes to do his business, he comes out, then we head to the check-out to pay for what we had picked up.

While standing in the line with our groceries he announced in a loud voice that his bum hole feels like it's burning. People in the line just looked at us with weird stares, but I squatted down to ask him what was wrong. He insisted that it was burning, so I asked him if he wiped properly and how bad it was. He seemed OK but said it tastes like chicken wings.

I had to ask, did you taste it ???

He said no, but it's like dinner last night.......

It was then I realized that the suicide hot wings we had the night before had made their exit and he was feeling the burn at the other end. :shk:

reply to post by anxietydisorder



OMG LMAO

I am done!!! I couldn't hold it and my co-workers think i have totally lost it!! Oh i love it!

LOL AD! Kids are so funny. Their perspectives are so fresh, and they're just completely untainted by society's expectations.

My 2.5 year old always negotiates for 2 or 3 stories before bed. After settling on a number she chooses the books to read and brings them to the bed. upon asking which one she wants me to read first her reply always used to be " NOT ONE STORY..TWO!"

She finally worked it out a few weeks back..Aah they grow so fast..

One of my neighbors put the Target Xmas toy catalog in my door last night.

After homework, I told my daughter she could go through it and put an "X" next to everything she really REALLY wanted. I explained to her a couple of times that I wasn't going to get everything on her list, but I wanted an idea of what she wanted so I could be sure to get the right stuff. I told her that putting an X next to everything in the catalog wasn't going to be very helpful.

She spent half an hour with the catalog. When she hands it to me, and I leaf through it, what do I see? An X next to every single toy in the catalog, including the baby stuff.

So now she thinks she's having the "Best Christmas Ever!" in her words, and I still don't know what stuff she wants most. :shk:

This has been many years ago, as my son is now almost 18. Here goes one of the funniest things I think he ever said..

He was also in taking a bath, and my husband went into the bathrooms to go pee. He started laughing at my son and said to him, "What do you call that tiny little thing?"

My son said.....I call it my Whopper! I heard it all the way in the living room. God that was funny He shut the old man right up!

Today my 2 year old nephew was trying to get his toy phone out of his toy box and the cord was caught up in a jump rope and he stood there just pulling and pulling and pulling (funny sight) but then he totally cracks me up, he stomps his foot, starts to pull harder shouting "oh man" "oh man" "oh man" over and over again. When he caught me looking at him, he nonchalantly says "mama, phone stuck. # MAN!!"

I have to tell his parents to watch their language around him.

My daughter, who just turned two, went in for surgery last week. About twenty minutes before taking her back, they gave her some Versed to calm her. About 15 minutes in...it hit....she went from uptight and scared, to not a care in the world, laughing and smiling. I asked her if she was alright, she looked up at me with her glassy blue eyes and said "Daddy..try this" and laughed and laughed. Went to change her diaper before she went back she look up and asked my wife "Mommy....Do you know the muffin man?" and drifted off to sleep.

Yes out of the mouths of babes.

reply to post by six


awwhh.. I hope your daughter is well now and the surgery was a brilliant success.

One time when my daughter was 2, way back 18 years ago, she was doing something sneaky, and I caught her. She asked me how I saw her do that? I said...I have eyes in the back of my head! Her eyes got huge and her mouth fell open. Off she went, and returned a minute or so later with a hairbrush She said...Mommy...I want to brush your hair.

OMG, I laughed so hard! She was looking for them eyes in the back of my head

My son and I went Xmas shopping today. I figure he is still young enough I can get away with hiding the stuff and he'll never remember what I got until the actual day.

I wanted to get him a ride-on toy of some kind and found a cute little one that plays a couple of nursery rhymes. he pressed the buttons on it all the way through the store.

When we got home, we got the cart my building has for moving lots of groceries and whatnot. I put the ride-on toy in the bottom.

My son climbed into the cart and sat on the ride-on, hunched over because he really didn't fit, and sat on it all the way up to my apartment. i ran in to get the camera, but he got off it before I could get a good shot of him riding the ride-on, riding the cart.

But I did get a couple of him trying to get back on it:





Can someone explain to me what it is in the male DNA that attracts them to wheels so much? And what did they do before the wheel was invented? Roll rocks and logs around?

awwh what a cutie!!!!
Oh why save it for christmas, let the boy go at it and have fun today. You can buy him some coloring books and pj's and wrap those up for christmas.

I still remember one year when things were tough for us, I got a used cookie can filled with 5cent candies and I was thrilled!!!!!

and before wheels, well they just banged things.

oh and my nephew is trying to say my name, it is the cutest thing I'm currently "Geisha" And I melt everytime he says it.

I didn't have the heart to take the "car" away from him, WW. He spent a good ten minutes pushing it around in its box while I put the other toys away and took the cart downstairs. When I opened it and gave it to him, he did his little happy dance. There's plenty other toys for him, one now won't hurt.

But what to tell his sister ...

ROFLcopters! Check out this video. Anybody who has parented a toddler will appreciate this.

That is precious! I wasn't too inclined to tolerate fits from my kids when they were that age...I'd say I was more incline to give them a little shot of cold water to the face But that one is cute and I would have let that one slide for the pure entertainment factor.

Don't tell me I'm a mean mom either, I know how to stop a good tantrum in it's tracks..... that's all

edit to add*

I went in search of a cute baby movie and found this one. I laughed so much watching this...now I have a permanent smile for the rest of the evening Enjoy!





[edit on 12/11/2007 by jensouth31]