Congress will now vote for approval of HR8791, the "Homeland Terrorism Preparedness Bill." Said bill requests emergency response funding, up to and
including -- ah... I'm sorry this section is classified -- ah, dollars to prepare for a national level terrorist attack and or attacks from ...
[CLASSIFIED]. Funding for first responder personnel and vehicles would be doubled if said attack leads to more than eighty percent of
national population being effected by [CLASSIFIED]. This funding shall convenes in conjunction with the first attack on
[CLASSIFIED], or the first large scale outbreak of [CLASSIFIED], dependent upon which comes first.
Civilian and military units shall be trained in containment and combat of [CLASSIFIED] including irradiated [CLASSIFIED]
with possibility of [CLASSIFIED] airborne [CLASSIFIED], [CLASSIFIED] flesh-eating,
[CLASSIFIED] and or all of the above in such event as [CLASSIFIED] spewing [CLASSIFIED] escape are released
or otherwise become uncontrollable.
Air Force unites may also be directed to combat said -pause- [CLASSIFIED] due to their enormous size and other-worldly strengths. Should
event occur in urban areas... Jesus... -long pause- ah... that's classified... far surpassing our darkest nightmares. Should casualties exceed
[CLASSIFIED] body disposal actions shall be halted and associated resources shall be reallocated through [CLASSIFIED]
underground [CLASSIFIED] protected birthing centers. -ah- New Bill of Rights shall drafted and approved by
Having now reviewed the bill, I ask you to please cast your votes.
Don't waste your remaining time on this earth by having panic, just follow me and dance instead. Have a nice day!
This is from "The Onion". I advise the op to use his Goggle Fu skills and google The Onion at which point he will realize how amazingly silly he is.
This site is rapidly being overrun by people who lack fundamental senses of humor.
Scratch that, I think the OP got the point. This is meant for the first reply to the OP.
Even if the bill is not real I find the topic hilarious, love the classified sections I laughed my hart out.
Really and honestly I wonder how many hidden bills has been passed away from the prying eyes and ears of we the people of this nation.
We have a dictatorship already in place is call our new and improve government system where you still get to vote but the elites running our
governemnt chose the leaders and their roles in our nations best interest(their pockets) and our nations name(when they need a war).
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