(SSSC) Ding Dong Satan Calling

Chapter 1: The Lord's Dressing.

'Twas the night before all hallows and all through the house!

"Do you know what day it is today?" Asked the Dark Lord.

"Yes Master," answered the hunchbacked servant "It is All Hallows Eve, the one night were all our evil friends can stalk the earthly realms, sucking the souls from the heathen humans!"

"For once you are in-fact correct you poor useless beast!" Scolded Satan.

For although the servant was correct, it could not go unpunished, for that was not his way. A cutting remark and a need for mindless sarcasm and just generally being plain out and about nasty went with the job!

"This year I feel we should make a bit of an effort," Announced Satan, "Fetch me a fine costume befitting someone with my status and magical talents" he continued.

The hunchback sloped off in to the darkness, muttering as he went, there are no working laws in hell. If only he hadn't murdered his last 5 masters. He'd been the worst butler in the world and not once did anyone say.

"The butler did it!"

After a short trans dimensional amount of time the butler returned with what he thought was a fantastic costume for his master to wear for Halloween.

"Hang it on the clothes horse, I'll be out in a minute the Nymphs haven't quite finished washing me yet!" Giggled Satan (All jobs have some perks).

The butler did as he was bid and left, but not before trying to get a peak of the Nymphs. I wonder how much the master will enjoy the costume and tonight's festivities thought the butler with a little inwards smile.

Satan strolled back into his demonically decorated bedroom and viewed his lean torso in the wall of full length mirrors "God I'm hot!" he laughed loudly at his own joke and then became quiet. His eyes had come to rest on the costume. Interesting!

Red and black, good colors, a thick leather belt and boots, very good. But what's with the hat and the beard? The penny dropped!

"Hells Bells!" Screamed Satan "What in God's name is this! Some kind of a bloody joke?" He breathed heavily, fire glowed all over his body, and the pointless towel he was wearing disintegrated. A broad smile slowly appeared across his face as the funny side of things pierced through his anger.

"Well maybe I can have some fun with this. And I'll make this look good!" Satan was now on the edge of hysterical laughter , the kind you hear just before a speech about world domination.

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Chapter 2: Getting It On

Small-town America, it could be any town, it could be any where across this huge country. Lots of nice little houses with nice little gardens and nice little people who go to work, pay their taxes and wear clean underwear everyday, wether they need to or not! The perfect place to go trick-or-treating, most of the houses have candy and all the people have soul!

Jason Turtle was putting the finishing touches to his costume, "Hockey mask - Check. Chain-saw - Check. Large bags of fake blood - Check. I am good to go," he slipped the hockey mask over his face, then gave what he thought was a blood curdling scream. He squeezed the air sack, by pushing his elbow in to his side, and the fake blood coursed out of his forehead and ran dow the mask. "This is freakin awesome!" The excitement was hard to hide. This wasn't just a halloween, trick-or-treating fest and then party at Johnny's place (his folks were out of town) this was his chance with Janey. This year when the football season started she'd be the head cheerleader for sure and everyone knows cheerleaders put out? Right?

Somewhere downtown in a disused store a crudely drawn pentagram started to come to life, the candles at each of the points sparked themselves into life. A circle around the pentagram slowly ignited, starting at the northern most point and traveling anti-clockwise a wall of silver fire grew till it was scorching the ceiling. Light flowed out of the dirty, stained windows, the most fantastically bright light and as the wall dropped away and the light faded there stood the prince of darkness, snarling in anticipation of the souls he would collect this all hallows eve: dressed as Santa.

"Let the soul sucking begin!" Snarled Satan.

Chapter 3: House to House

Jason and Janey were by all accounts having a good time. They had started out with another couple, but then Janey's friend katherine had developed one of these out-of-the-blue head aches that are going around. Naturally her boyfriend Denis had offered to walk her home... And then there were two.

They made a good looking couple. Jason in his hockey mask and Janey as the murdered cheerleader with a fake axe sticking out of her head.

Satan was having a ball, the santa costume was working a treat. The foolish people would open their doors have a giggle and then engage him in conversation. "I'm looking for lost souls. Have you seen any?" he would say. And being the night it was, people just couldn't help replying with "No I haven't, why don't you take mine!" which they thought was highly original and outta What happened next was rather distressing for the unfortunate joker! Satan's hand would stretch forward and grasp them around the neck and pull them close to his face, so close they could see the madness in his eyes and taste the horrid stench of death that was before them. That would be the end of them, for struggle as they may, they would never be able to loosen the grip, not once they had agreed to give their soul away. As their life was sucked out of them, Satan would glow with all the power he commanded. The power of life and death!

"Jason I'm getting tired of knocking on doors." complained Janey.

"Sure err, me too! Agreed Jason "Let's just do one more I'd really like to go and scare the crap outta Mr. Ginger, he gave me crap marks all last year!"

"Okay, but don't scare the life out of the old guy, he was always very sweet to me!" Said Janey, quite seriously.

And that's nothing to do with the fact that the cheerleaders would all flash their panties at the old pervert! Thought Jason!

They walked down the winding path to Mr. Ginger's house and just as they turned the final corner they heard the door bell chime, it was the theme to Star Wars!

"Check it out, it's Santa Claus! Let's wait for Ginger to open the door, then I'll chase you down the path and we'll scare the pants off both of these freaks! Jason was hugely impressed with his master plan.

"Ok, but then we go to the party at Johnny's, and tell everyone we've been there for hours. I don't wanna get in to any trouble! Janey had a bad feeling about this!

The front door opened and the porch was bathed in green light, Yoda stepped forward his blue light saber glowing intensely. "Give you candy I will" Said the fifty year old English teacher.

"Suck your soul I WILL!" said Santa.

There was a scream, a really girly scream and Janey ran around the corner. Hot on her heels was Jason, waving his chain-saw in the air and blood pouring down the front of his hockey mask.

What they saw was a shock to them both. Santa had Yoda by the throat and Yoda was bashing Santa in the head with his light saber!

"Enough!" Boomed Santa, and he snapped Yoda's neck. The bone crunching sound stopped Jason and Janey in their tracks. Santa pulled Yoda close to him and through his last gurgling death sounds, he sucked his soul out through his mouth. His soul glowed gold in the cold night air and as it vanished in to Santa the wriggling body of Yoda become lifeless and still.

Janey screamed, this time it was a true horror movie scream!

Santa's head whipped around and the glowing red eyes gazed upon the two high school students.

"We gotta go!" stammered Jason as he grabbed at Janey's hand and pulled her back down the garden path.

Satan threw Yoda's corpse on to the porch chair, it slumped off to one side rocking gently as Satan took giant strides after the kids.

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Chapter 4: Chase to the death.

Jason and Janey ran down the street. Santa just strolled along behind them, they couldn't go far and tonight was the one night no one would believe that a crazy red eyed Santa was sucking the souls out of people or Jedi masters for that matter.

"There the old bus terminal, we can hide in there!" said Jason.

They quietly slipped through a hole in the old fence and climbed through a busted window frame in to the derelict building. Jason led Janey through a few different rooms and into a back office. he shut the door and pushed an old desk against it.

"If he finds us in here, that should hold him while we go out the window" Said Jason, but Janey wasn't listening. She was on her knees with her hands pressed together.

"Dear God, please help us in our time of need. I don't know what that thing was, but it was evil, please God. I promise I'll go to church every sunday, oh please, please!"

A small white light glowed in the centre of the room and a friendly voice came from somewhere within it. "I'm sorry God and all his Angels are unavailable at this time, your prayer is currently in a queuing system, someone will be with you shortly, keep praying and bless you!" The light faded. Janey started to cry.

"we're going to die, we're going to die ahhhhahaha sob sob!"

"God is too busy, man this messed up! Man if I was Santa and some dude was going around dressed as me killing people and giving me a bad rap... I'd be really pissed at him!" Said Jason thinking out loud.

"That's it, Santa. He'll wanna know about this! Maybe he can help us."

"Girl I was joking! Everyone knows Santa was made up by Coke to sell more at Christmas!"

Once again Janey got down on her knees and placed her hands together. "Dear Santa," she started "Girl you cannot be serious, every knows ya gotta write santa a letter." Laughed Jason.

That's right! Thought Janey, she rifled through her bag and found a scrap of paper and an eyeliner. "Dear santa. It's halloween and someone is dressed as you and killing people. please help us." She folded the paper and...

Bang. Bang. Bang.

The letter falls to the floor, both of their eyes focus on the door that is slowly coming apart as Satan pounds on it with all his might.

"Quick out of the window" ordered Jason

The letter vanished.

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Chapter 5: Saving Spirits

"It won't open it's been nailed shut." screamed Janey.

Bang. Bang. Bang. The door gave way and splintered to nothing. Satan jumped up on to the desk.

"Hey kids! All dressed up and nowhere to go?"

"Janey, break the glass and get out, I'll slow this dirt-bag down." said Jason with a lump in his throat.

"Brave words, but you know they're in vain, so what the hell. Go out with a smile!"

Jason charged Satan, grabbing hold of him by the arm and slamming him into the wall.

"Stop it your tickling me!" Laughed Satan.

The window shattered, Janey screamed as some of the thick safety glass fell and cut her leg, she grabbed the edge of the frame and ignoring the pain pulled herself up. The glass cut deep into her hands and blood seeped out, she continued to pull.

Ching. Ching. Ching.

Satan easily lifted Jason off his feet and his body sailed across the room, slamming into the wall and caving a hole in to the dry wall. He coughed and blood splattered from his lips.

Ching. Ching. Ching.

Janey looked back from the edge of the window with fear in her eyes.

"Janey Run" Jason spluttered, he looked deep into her eyes for the last time. she dropped out of site and Jason pulled himself from the hole in the wall, this would be his final act, the end of his short life.

CHING.CHING.CHING.

The back wall of the office fell inwards, there was a crackling of electric blue lightning around the edges as it hit the floor. It sent debris flying and a rolling cloud of dust that cover Jason and Satan.

The dust settled and there standing in the hole, that was only moments ago a wall, was: the real Santa.

Satan moved fast, first he knocked Jason to the floor with a killer blow, the blood coursed from Jason's face as he hit the deck hard. Next he clenched his fists and growled. Great curling horns emerged from the top of his head and as he stretched out his hands long silver claws grew out of his fingers.

"Will you didn't come here to dance. Did you now fat boy?" Goaded Satan.

"It's been a long time coming. Old man." Smiled santa.

Satan made the first move, he lunged forward and landed two then three, four and five good clean hits. Santa rocked a little and went down. He was back on his feet quickly, but Satan wasn't pulling his punches. Smack! Down went Santa again, this time he was a little slower finding his feet.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Is that all you've got? Mimicked Satan.

Santa knew he was beat, he didn't have an answer to Satan's power or speed and by himself he was no match for the Prince of Darkness. Yes! That was it, it wasn't about doing this by himself. There were others that could help others that were still him.

"I've got more. much more" Replied Santa as he dropped to his knees and raised his hands above his head.

At first it was all very confusing, there were shadows upon shadows and those shadows were splitting and then splitting again, but then true shapes began to appear. They were all Santa Claus, but of course they were not all santa Claus. They were Father christmas, Sing Dan Loh Yan, Baba noel, Black Peter, St Nicholas and all the other incarnations that the world has produced to fill the niche in it's own countries market.

The hundreds of Santas stood wall to wall in front of Satan each in a slightly different costume, each slightly different in appearance, colour and creed.

"You want to fight me. You fight ALL OF ME!" Boomed the Santas in a hundreds of different voices and hundreds different languages.

Satan roared and the Santas descended upon him, he fought like the wild animal he was, slashing and biting at everything within his reach. The Santas just kept coming. The rushed at Satan and pounded on him from every angle they could. Satan's power was fading, he was finding it hard to stay on his feet. After a few more flurries of attack from the Santas he dropped to the floor and curled in to the fetal position.

The Santas circled around him, surrounding his earthly form. Satan looked up, he knew he was beat. He screamed in a language from another world, form another time.

He was gone. Flames licked the small patch of floor where his form had been. For now this battle was over.

The Santa's acknowledged each other fro the first time this horrid night. They exchanged smiles, hugs and hand shakes, Bows and pats on the back. One by one they faded away leaving the American Santa.

His boots were scuffed and his thick red coat was torn. He loosened his thick black belt, and took a giant breath. He walked over to the broken body of Jason Turtle.

He brushed the boys hair from his face and said "I give you a gift, the greatest gift of all." He took another deep breath and concentrated hard.

"I give you the gift of life."

Jason coughed and stirred in what seemed a peaceful sleep.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Happy Halloween!"

----- The end -----




Thanks for getting this far!!

ChiKeyMonKey

excellent chikey. kudo's monkey boy!!

mojo

Chikey..that was fabulous! Iam laughing so hard I'm in tears...
Seriously....ROFLMAO...

AD and Mojo.

Cheers Guys!

Also the first thing (other than sarcastic BTS comments) I've written in 15ish years, just let it flow out, I knew if I started editting and playing with it I'd get stressed and unhappy and never get it finished so it was a bit of a wham bang thank you maam kind of effort.

But watch this space. hee hee!!

Got a taste for it now!!

MonKey

Well Mojo I think this one even beats yours! This is my all time favorite Halloween story on ATS! Bravo! It made me laugh and it made me cry! Heck I lost 15 lbs reading it! A star and a flag for you oh master of the written word

reply to post by tetsujin420


Sweet! I've found my target audence. You must be a 75 - 85 year old, cat loving spinster from Dakota.

Thanks for the kind words!!

MonKey

reply to post by ChiKeyMonKey


Hey Chikey, I hadn't written anything for 20 years...Keep it coming buddy.

That was great. Very Terry Pratchett, but different. Any more?

If you would write a book I could save $$$ on this one, its a classic for Halloween and Christmas. Just think 2 holiday books for the price of one. What a great sense of humor you have and at first I was thinking it would make a perfect South Park adventure, and t-h-e-n remembered your avatar!!! Exciting read.

Thanks again for reading my story and giving some feedback. Good or bad, it's all good if ya catch my drift.

I really enjoyed the whole process of puting this together.

Terry Pratchett is a god of a writer (apart from Tuesdays when you should call him Susan). I love his books and have one, two, many, lots of them!!

Thanks again.

MonKey

Just wanted to lend my support to your fun and scary Halloween tale. I would like it better if you would make a short film out of it!!! LoL!

Happy Halloween my new friend!

reply to post by antar


Cheers Antar. Best of luck to you and everyone with a story, they've all been great!

Fingers crossed for you all!

MonKey


[edit on 31/10/07 by ChiKeyMonKey]

Great story ChikeyMonkey! I also laughed, cried and lost 15lbs while reading it. Very original, very entertaining and very well written.

I have to be honest and say I wasn't happy about the Satan appearing on a pentacle, but then again I'm bias, the rest was absolutely hilarious great story overall