'Handshakes'...How tight or loose is your grip?

Meet and Greet...

There are many different handshakes in the world, however I will focuss on the broad spectrum of those that are widely used to say 'hello/goodbye'.

What's in a handshake anyway? - Human beings are 'Socialable' creatures at heart. The physical/tactile gestures they we portray to one another exhibit our inner feelings and the need to 'feel connected' to others.

According to this Source

A handshake is:

–noun 1. a gripping and shaking of right hands by two individuals, as to symbolize greeting, congratulation, agreement, or farewell.

2. Also, handshaking. Computers. an exchange of predetermined signals between a computer and a peripheral device or another computer, made when a connection is initially established or at intervals during data transmission, in order to assure proper synchronization.

How we exude these underlying aspects of our personalities, can come forth in a simple 'handshake'.

Differences of handshaking - A few examples on this SITE

Shake firmly. Limp handshakes are Hollywood movies; they leave you feeling dissatisfied

Did you ever meet someone for the first time, or go to a meeting/interview, and the boss/person exuded confidence, yet, their handshake was like grasping a dead manequins hand?

I have, and I'm sure alot of you have as well.

It makes me wonder why this person would even extend their appendages in the first place?

It's almost as if this person was digressing back to 'monkey-hood' and just throws out a wrist for you to sniff.

"Here you go...sniff..sniff.."(see? I'm the reigning monkey here, I decide whether you can join mine clan or not...sniff my power/my dominating hormones....there...got a good whiff?)

OR:

"Here you go (I'm going to turn my head slightly away now..while I put forth my digits for you to be mesmorised with..rolling my eyes now...please leave the slobbering at way-side...sigh...you may now shake the tips of my grandeur.)

Oh boy...

Ok....let's turn the tables 180 degrees.

What about those, whose handshakes are akin to "The Thing" in a fantastic 4 move?

Grips of Steel

Scenerio:

You've walked into the office of Mr. So-and so.
This over-jublient character is so happy to see you, that when you extend your hand....you wished you didn't. The moment your hand goes out, it's sucked in by a vortex so fast (you think one of your fillings got caught in the cross-fire) and your whole arm is verociously caught in a whirl-wind of flaggelating limbs.

The Hulk' is at way-side...pounding his catcher mitt for the leftovers

How do we deal with these folk?

Good question.

* Take the bone-crunching grip with full force? (but can we get away with using only one arm in our lifetime?...Now see..that's the question)

* Grip just as hard or harder than the other person? (I've seen veins break out on peoples foreheads over this...NO NO...this isn't the way)

What a dilema.

Now I have to ask YOU all:

Tell me what you think is the Ideal Handshake and what does it mean to YOU?



[edit on 24-10-2007 by TheDuckster]

Have any of YOU ever come across people with limp or Overly-strong handshakes?

I tend to think that handshakes tell ALOT about a person.

What do YOU think?

[edit on 24-10-2007 by TheDuckster]

I hate a dead fish handshake.

I don't really like someone to grip too hard, but I give a firm handshake.

It's ritualistic, but it's an important one.

Because my hands are mostly wet when I'm working I bump fists in the manner of today's youth.

When people look at me funny, I tell them it means we're tight.

That usually gets a laugh and an extended fist.

[edit on 2007/10/24 by GradyPhilpott]

I once shook hands with a new coworker..I am ashamed to admit that I actually withdrew my hand because his grip was almost nada, and his palm was ice-cold sweaty. It was truly a reflex, but I felt I had just touched something "wrong". LOL

Also, yes I have come across the Crushing handshake too. Not sure what the point is..Could be accidental. They may not realize how one hand has become a lot stronger than the other. It also tells me which one they type with.

Mine is apparently average. I have a joint in my wrist that pops sometimes during a handshake though..sometimes people will say "oh sorry dude".

reply to post by GradyPhilpott


You know what Grady?

I feel the same way.

I look at handshakes as a 'gettin to know you' process.

If someone shakes my hand, and they are a limp fish...I don't (in my mind) think they are sincere.

i give a pretty good hand shake.. usually a bit on the softer side but its a good hand shake believe me

had this one guy come into my work once and he just about ripped my arm out of my socket with his hand shake

whats the deal with that? do people get off on that? whipping my arm around like a jump rope making all my change fly out of my pockets
whats the deal buddy trying to pull my arm right off me?

reply to post by GradyPhilpott


I was always brought up with these values:

* Shake someone's hand - not too firm or too loose.

* Always look those in the eye.

* Mean what you say...'say what you mean'.

* Shake someone's hand with feeling

Mabey I come from old school. But these things really mean alot to me.

The ART of the handshake.
Watch and learn, from the master.

reply to post by spacedoubt


Spacedoubt?

I don't know where and hell you found this vid, my friend, but this is the friggin 'retarded/sensible' BOMB



lolololol

Great find Spacedoubt!!!!

[edit on 24-10-2007 by TheDuckster]

It Is pretty funny eh?

Someone tried to show that vid to me a while back, and I had only seen part of it, up until your thread..I went back and re-located it. And there it is!



[edit on 24-10-2007 by spacedoubt]

reply to post by spacedoubt


Spacedoubt,

That vid, is pretty close to the truth (in humorous ways)

The way we ALL percieve a handshake.

Good find!

i don't shake hands anymore as i got tired of touching people...people have nasty nails or have callouses on the pads of their hands...
i'm just not into it.

when i did though, i had a firm grip...not like a vice but solid
it's a 'manly' thing...you know, supposed to shake it like you mean it..

some dudes though think if they crush your metacarpals then they REALLY mean it....

so now, if someone extends their hand i just say i don't shake....if they don't like it, tough...

i will say, when you extend your hand to shake, mose people extend their hand out with their palm facing left(if you extend your right hand)...

as a sign of respect, you should extend your hand with your palm down, then when you lock hands, turn the shake so your palm would be facing left, into their palm...

if you're shaking and fake and don't actually respect, extend your hand with your palm up.

nobody probably cares anymore but thats how it works/did work

I used to have a loose grip, but heard that it means you're a pssy. Now I crush the other hand, like a manly bstard! I have a different hand shake for my good friends though, more of a clasp.

Originally posted by Boondock78


as a sign of respect, you should extend your hand with your palm down, then when you lock hands, turn the shake so your palm would be facing left, into their palm...

If you did that to me, I'd look at you very weird and say, "What, you want me to kiss it?"

reply to post by SpeakerofTruth


it is what it is.
like i said, i don't shake

I have always been about a medium grip handshake. I knew this one fellow a few years back when he'd shake my hand, he always managed to grab me right out on the fingers and mash all four of my fingers together and man that used to piss me off it was almost impossible to get him back as much as I tryed he'd get me every time. Once someone mashes all your fingers together like that theres no possible way to return any type of grip. I think I'll try it on the Preacher Sunday, I had about forgotten that.

I always try to break the other guys hand.
Yep I squeeze until his knees buckle.
Then I make him say 'uncle' 3 times.
That always works so well when your selling to a new prospect. Yeah!

Actually. I have a firm handshake, but not overly so. I too hate a dead fish handshake.


Alot of times I do the knuckle bump with my friends.

The Crusher

If crusher and crushee are both male, the use of this grip signifies overcompensation for the crusher's secret doubts about (a) his position in the power hierarchy of the military-industrial complex or (b) his adequacy in the trouser department.

If the crusher is female and you are male, check to see whether she's wearing black or dark green pyjamas or combat fatigues with army boots. If she is, you're okay. If she isn't, you could be in for a new and terrifying experience.

If you are female and you meet a crusher (of either sex), run like hell.

The Dead Fish

The psychology of the dead fish is more complex than that of the crusher. Motivation could vary from pathological shyness to pathological hatred of humanity to pathological delusions of aristocratic grandeur. One way or another it's pathological. It may also communicate a fear of germs, low sex drive, lack of ambition or the fact that one has been raised by sea-lions.

The Boardist

This handshake belongs to a Man of Destiny. When he sticks his stiff, motionless paw out at you, he is already imagining the statues that sycophantic but accomplished sculptors will one day hew in his honour. 'My name is Ozymandiarse, king of kings...' Elder boardists, however, may simply be suffering from arthritis.

The Evangelist
Handshake unduly prolonged. Shakee's hand held in a firm, steady grip punctuated by spasmodic and irregular pumping reminiscent of the last throes of orgasm. Usually accompanied by shoulder-clasp with free hand and in extreme cases, pounding the shakee's back. Beware of this handshake above all. It means the shaker wants your soul.

The Candidate
Similar to the Evangelist but shorter in duration and accompanied by a torrent of effusive verbiage. Altogether more upfront. No more trustworthy.

The Muthah
Over under sideways down, then repeat. Don't worry, it won't last. He'll either grow out of it or else he'll take eleven bullets in a drive-by and no-one will ever have to shake his hand again.

The Perfunctorist
That's okay, you can beat him up on his way back down the ladder.

The Hemingway Gripster
Cool, firm, dry. Level gaze. Just the right level of gravity. He's already forgotten your name.

The Won't Shake
Ebola is your friend.

I try to guage it to the person...sometimes I'm successful, other times not so much.

I can't stand limp handshakes, they leave me cold...gorilla grips irritate me as well. I once put a would-be neandertal on his knees when he tried his little gorilla grip on me. My mom taught me how...you grind their knuckles together and down they go. Plus, the fact that I'm 6'4" and around 280 lbs. Getting into a gorilla grip contest with me is, in all modesty, not a wise thing to do.

I remember when I was about 8 years old, we would always go over to my Dad's uncles house at Christmas time. Right before we would walk in the door, he would stop me and say..."Ok, now when you see Uncle Jim, give him a nice firm handshake." We would then review the "proper" firm handshake outside the door, and after we walked in and I shook his hand, he would always say..."You got a nice firm handshake there boy".

I have continued to follow my dads advice in the biz and always give a nice firm shake. Not break your hand style, but firm enough to let them know that I mean business. I really dislike it when people try too hard. Some women try to break your hand to overcompensate for their being a woman, and some men shake your hand like you want a vibrational arm massage.

If you start off with a limp-wristed shake, you already lost points in my book.

[edit on 10/25/07 by Don Wahn]