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Why I love NYC, Reason 38

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posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 10:07 AM
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So I go downstairs to hit the bookstore (I promised my kids I'd bring home a couple of books) and as I'm walking towards the store I see a bunch of cameras. They're filming something. They're always filming something. Sex and the city has taken over the area where I live. This is something different. This is not a movie or a tv show. I move in for a closer look and I see Marilu Henner. she's wearing a red hat that says Marilu on it. Then I see a woman in a hat that says Omarosa. There are7 women in total. Two hot dog stands. I walk closer. Hey, there's Carol Alt. And who's that? Nadia Comaneci. There's a girl with a hat that says Nely. No clue who she is. Another in a hat that says Jennie. Jennie is 6 foot something, blonde and pretty damned good looking. Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and I'm looking at a gorgeous woman in a Tiffany hat. Tiffany Amber Thissen (sp?)? My Saved By the Bell fantasy kicks into high gear. I look around. No AC Slater. No Zack Morris and, thank god, no Screech. Huh? Tiffany is speaking to me. I look closer and it isn't Tiffany Amber Thissen. Hot Tiffany hands me a flier and starts telling me they're selling hot dogs for charity. I scan the flier and what do I see? Tiffany Fallon - Playmate. I'm talking to a centerfold girl. My knees go weak. The other girls are from shows or things I've never heard of (except Omarosa, Marilu and Nadia of course).

Tiffany is asking me to buy a dog. I tell her it's too early but I'll come back when I'm in need of food. she puts her arm around me and says it's for a good cause and she would love to take care of me when I get back. "um, I uh, I'd love to have you uh take care of me."

Tiffany turns a bit red and says "I'm supposed to flirt with you to get you to buy food for charity"

Suddenly, the Crakeur in me comes out.

You had the sale when you touched my shoulder, I tell her.

She tells me to come back. I tell her she can bank on it.

I hit the book store, buy Walter the Farting Dog and realize that this won't help me look cool at all. My chances of centerfold dreams are fading (note- Mrs. Crakeur would look the other way in this case as centerfolds are allowed because they are "out of your reach" and therefore, not a threat - HAH!!!).

I walk back to the crowd and so far, nobody's bought anything. The girls are pitching but nobody's ponying up for anything. Tiffany sees me. She smiles, struts over and says "you came back! I figured you were gone."

"I always keep my promises."

"Want a hot dog?" she asks.

"whatever. No, wait, no hot dog. I want the hat."

"I can't sell the hat. " she tells me.

"Omarosa was making a deal for her tee shirt" I tell her.

"she can't sell it. we aren't allowed to sell anything other than the food and drinks."

"I'll give you a hundred for it."
no

200
no

500 bucks for the hat.

I would if I could, she says and puts her arm around me.

She leans in close, her mouth close to my ear. I'm about to pass out. she says "we need the hats so we can keep doing this" I feel her breath on my ear and neck.

uh oh, I'm losing myself. I uh, hmm, uh, don't you get a few of them? you should. you'd make more money on the hats and shirts than on the food, I tell her.

"I know but they want this to be about the charities and the sponser"

"ok, gimme a soda"

"It's $5"

"I'll give you $20 for the soda - diet pepsi please"

"MY FIRST SALE!!!!" she screams

"A Twenty Dollar Soda!!!!" she yells out.

all the girls cheer. I whip it out (the twenty) and get my soda. I ask for a straw. Tiffany looks confused.

"For the soda, Tiffany. I use it to drink out of the can."

she playfully slaps my arm and says she knows what they're for but they forgot to give them straws.

I tell her I'll live but, in the event I cut my lips on the can, I am going to need to know who to call.

Tiffany puts her arm around me, tells me I'm hysterical and then she pulls me in tight, throws her arms around me and (holy cow!! I'm getting a tight hug from a playmate. hot diggity, she's pressing her whole body against me. I am not supposed to act like a 12 year old but holy cow holy damn holy you know what)

she kisses me on the cheek and thanks me. I tell her to get a hot dog ready for lunch time, make it two and we'll have lunch together.

She says she's there until 1 but she might not be able to take the break to eat with me.

I tell her I was kidding. That I would rather sit down and have a real meal with her and as much as I know she wants to, I can't. I'm too busy. I thank her for flattering me and she is now staring at me, mouth open a bit, eyes wide. She clearly can't believe I just said that.

I tell her to not be surprised. I can now tell people I blew off a gorgous playmate and, in my imaginary world, that makes me a stud.

She gives me another kiss and says "thanks stud" and turns away.


As I go to cross the street and head back to my office, some dude comes up to me and says he needs me to sign a release.

Huh?

for tv. we're filming this so the ladies can use the footage on tv.

ugh.

I'm going to look like an ass on tv.


I signed the release. I gave my cell phone number and wrote "don't give this to Tiffany unless she begs for it"



posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 10:28 AM
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Well it certainly sounds like you've had a day whose memories will live as long as your alive.
I'd like to say that I'm happy for you, but jealous with envy would be closer to the mark...lol
One question. In all this time that transpired, the purchase of a throwaway camera never entered your mind?

Johnny



posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 10:30 AM
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I didn't have my cell with me but they're still downstairs and I'm starting to get me a hankerin for a hot dog.

weenies with Tiffany.... I need to copywrite that.



posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 10:45 AM
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Originally posted by Crakeur
Tiffany puts her arm around me,
....she kisses me on the cheek and thanks me.

...She gives me another kiss and says "thanks stud"


So far so good. I expect at this point you didn't have a care in the world.



As I go to cross the street and head back to my office, some dude comes up to me and says he needs me to sign a release.

Huh?

for tv. we're filming this so the ladies can use the footage on tv.

ugh.

I'm going to look like an ass on tv.


Ha Ha! Reality sets in. Tell when to watch this episode. I wish I could have seen the look on your face when it dawned on you that your (rightfully) boyish reactions were being preserved for the world to see.

[edit on 19-10-2007 by dbates]



posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 10:51 AM
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I don't know when it will air or where it will air. they were filming it, presumably to use on the talk show circuit when they promote the event of the charities.

I'll get a phone call from my wife, who will have just heard from her mother who will have just received a call from one of her yenta friends who saw me "making out and grinding" with a pornstar.

you say reality. I saw fantasy. I don't see how the above scenario can be anything but good. seriously. when was the last time any of us got a phone call from a spouse asking about the hot pornstar we were seen cavorting with?

ok, mine was last tuesday but what about the rest of you?



posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 11:08 AM
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Originally posted by Crakeur
I hit the book store, buy Walter the Farting Dog and realize that this won't help me look cool at all.
...

I tell her to not be surprised. I can now tell people I blew off a gorgous playmate and, in my imaginary world, that makes me a stud.

She gives me another kiss and says "thanks stud" and turns away.


...
"don't give this to Tiffany unless she begs for it"




Priceless!

I would have turned into a gibbering idiot ... more than usual anyways.. :w:
.



posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 11:15 AM
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Originally posted by Crakeur
when was the last time any of us got a phone call from a spouse asking about the hot pornstar we were seen cavorting with?

ok, mine was last tuesday but what about the rest of you?


Hmmmmm.............. I'm still waitin' for my phone call and stuff........

Great post Stephen. Made me smile.



posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 11:17 AM
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here's the best part. They are set up about twenty feet from verizon. My phone is there for service. I'm picking it up in an hour. If they are willing, I'm buying dogs for all of them to eat. If they all eat the meat, I'm snapping pics and posting them.



posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 11:18 AM
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Did you find out what show it was for? I would suspect it is 'the surreal life' on VH1.. or some type of celebrity reality show. Anyway, thats pretty cool your wife would let you 'do' a centerfold... its a shame you couldn't close the deal! :p



posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 11:27 AM
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Absolutely priceless Crakeur!

Yeah you'd better get some pictures. That's why I would love NY as well.

For some odd reason we just don't get too many porn stars pushing hot dogs in central Kentucky! :shk:



posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 11:30 AM
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as I mentioned, I don't think it's for a show. I think it's for the talk show circuit. While I can see the reality girls and the centerfold doing reality shows, Marilu Henner doesn't fit the bill.



posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 12:36 PM
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So, um... did she mention my name?



posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 12:40 PM
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Originally posted by Majic
So, um... did she mention my name?


depends. If you want to assume she was referring to you when she was thinking "wow, this guy is magical. it's a shame I'm married"

then, yeah, she mentioned your name.


I went to pick up my phone and do the hot dog eating thing but the rain chased the ladies away.


I did notice a crew member there wearing a tag that said CREW and under that REALLY WORLDWIDE

not sure what really worldwide is. new show, production company?



posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 02:37 PM
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Probably just a local outfit.



posted on Oct, 19 2007 @ 07:23 PM
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LOL

What a great story Crakeur!!

Could this be something related to Trump, and
"The Apprentice, One More Chance For the Has-Beens"?



posted on Oct, 20 2007 @ 04:56 AM
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Personally, I don't like NYC.
I guess growing up in suburban NY (not too far from the city) and having spent so many weekends hanging out there, the luster has long since worn off.
It's too loud and dirty.

But, that's just me.





posted on Oct, 22 2007 @ 10:59 AM
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Me either. Can't even get a hot dog without some centerfold draping herself all over me. Definitely one of my Pet Peeves.



Tiffany Fallon

[edit on 10/22/2007 by yeahright]



posted on Oct, 22 2007 @ 11:10 AM
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Originally posted by spacedoubt
Could this be something related to Trump, and
"The Apprentice, One More Chance For the Has-Beens"?


yup. It was in the news over the weekend. Apprentice Celeb edition - they named a few of the players and Marilu Henner and Carol Alt were named.

So yeah, I'll be on a show I never watched, starring a guy who makes my flesh crawl.



posted on Oct, 22 2007 @ 11:13 AM
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Originally posted by wu kung
Personally, I don't like NYC.
I guess growing up in suburban NY (not too far from the city) and having spent so many weekends hanging out there, the luster has long since worn off.
It's too loud and dirty.

But, that's just me.


The city is what you make it to be. I grew up in the burbs and spent many weekends here in my youth and moved here right after college. It's truly an amazing city. I was wandering the Meat Packing District with the family yesterday and as we walked by all these outdoor cafes my wife said it was like being in another country. I said it was not at all like another country. It was NYC at its best. A little area totally unlike the areas surrounding it, filled with people of all types, wandering around, shopping, people watching, eating, drinking.

NYC has something for everyone, you just need to learn how to tune out the "noise" that doesn't suit you.



posted on Oct, 22 2007 @ 11:14 AM
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reply to post by yeahright
 


I googled her after the hug and I couldn't find a picture of her wearing clothes. you really do lead a sad life when your computer can't locate naked pictures of a recent playboy playmate of the year.



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