Stephen Colbert is running for President, page
Pages:
ATS Members have flagged this thread 2 times


reply posted on 17-10-2007 @ 08:15 AM by V Kaminski
I think Colbert and Stewart not only entertain but educate. On that I am 100% serious if nothing else. It is amazing the "info-clout" they possess.

Both are capable of writing their own material (when not too swamped with laundry) and Colbert in particular has experience in international relations. His diplomacy is meat and potatoes; no foolin' around. Only need to hear it once. I've seen both work without a script and not seemingly "care".

"Crepes" Colbert, having soundly and practically single-handedly trounced Canada during the Super-Series-That-Must-Not-End could lead to expanded trade opportunities for the US and even longer lines at the border of folks waiting to spend and supply the economy with vibrant and expensive waiting. That means enhanced border security from gridlock. So Coach "Crepes" Colbert for me. Good fellow to pour a couple fifths or a 26-er, maybe a Texas-Mickey of Seagrams into I'm sure - strong constitution, that fellow.

Don't underestimate the value of Stewart internationally either tho' - Bien-sur, Il' est L'homme du fromage plus trop de pneu-fraiche fomidable sur le fentre-nouvelle, non? Wa?... he is so big in the Middle-East that folks of all cultures watch, but with the North American "not-liberal by their own descriptions" maybe - "not-so-much". A real gentleman's gentleman, classy, statesman-like even. Perfect for those delicate situations that Colbert would be not-enough "not-fist-in-your-face" as the more humoured, graceful and elegant Stewart. He has a certain, "Je ne c'est quoi" - make no mistake.

They both already know everyone in government and media and I think it might be a challenge to find an American who wouldn't defend their their prerogative to make the attempt. Both can find Canada on a map so... 23 Ski-Doo here in The Sovereign Dominion Of Great White North That-Is-Not-Now Nor-Ever-Will-Be Part Of The United Of America" or any non-sovereign hypothetical conglomeration. We know much about you and you know so little of us - this should change for your edification and interest.

An Aside And A Promise: We have the Mercer-device, give that some thought and Danny Williams wouldn't be afraid to unleash a torrent of non-lethal laughter that would... well, that's classified. Suffice it to say you'd be fighting well-above-your-weight. Your finest comedic-gladiators are "almost as good" but you lack the depth of bench and are hampered by the lack of new material. Everybody is funny in Canada, it's the unspoken-social-pact we have with Winter, Maple Syrup and Curling. You? Our fine friends below the 49th parallel only have one Steven Wright. We have our comedians-as-agents everywhere in your media and culture and you have but few here. You will be "laugh-similated".

I want a shared international component though. I propose John Wing and Sean Majumder as Ambassadors with Beldar Conehead as a shared ambassador to Remulak and all other sentient "newcomers" with rotating former SNL talent every second Tuesday of every month to co-incide with Microsoft "patch" Tuesday.

Above all: Don't. Ever. Make. Us. Activate. The. Shatner. Bomb.

We'll use it if we have to - don't make us, we can stop time between each spoken word planet-wide. Enough. No more threats of humour among friends who used to share the longest and most beautiful undefended border in the history of mankind.

Arnold got elected n'est pa? In "Cal-e-for-ne-ah" I think, doin' a good job by some accounts - gets (or used to get) his cigars in Montreal same place as me... Cuban - finest quality - exceedingly, no - ghastly expensive. Not to mention Arnold's longest biz relationship with the French-Canadian Paragon Joe Weider. California - Ontario trade is actually quite impressive.

Colbert is an American I feel I can trust - he is consistent and carries himself more "Presdentially" in dire-times than Jon Stewart (a fine man and a great split ticket Veep, good guy to buy a Canadian beer for). What about an entirely write-in vote? Does America have that voting option in any jurisdiction?

Colbert will tell it straight - there will be conflict - there will be a hockey match - honour will be at stake - winner gets the Russkies.

We will co-exist in harmony in search of a shared and enlightened future... soon our shared comedy-ecology will take over the planet and folks will spontaneously smile - they won't be able to stop smiling with a snicker stifled by only good grace and the decorum of respect and the fact that we all - planet wide could use a little - fun. It's that serious.

I issue an open challenge - I throw the gaunlet of Canadian daring down to Colbert and Stewart and challenge them openly to come to ATS as members in good standing and debate me in defense of this obivious and blatant and inflammatory waffling they perpetrate. I'm waiting - "Crepes", Mister Stewart? Bring it to "ATS". Bring the good stuff. I need no second. En-garde!

Have an absolutely great day! Some folks only live once, so you might as well live it up - enjoy what you comfortably can.

Cheers,

Vic

This international good-will public service ad was paid for by The Committee for the Advancement of User-Generated-Comedy-Content and the Ministry of Smiles-Are-Free-And-Save-Energy (a non-profit-viral-meme-agency).

[edit on 17-10-2007 by V Kaminski]
Pages:     ^^TOP^^



Have You Seen the Attention-Grabbing New TIME Cover?
  Posted 16 days ago with 31 member flags
That Does Not Compute
  Posted 19 days ago with 14 member flags
"I AM" the documentary in full on Youtube
  Posted 17 days ago with 11 member flags
The one topic even TED won\'t touch: Income Inequality
  Posted 10 days ago with 10 member flags
Denying Ignorance about Copyright
  Posted 11 days ago with 9 member flags