Originally posted by quiksilver
Ordering a pizza in the year 2012............
Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order a pizza."
Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,
and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is
745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high
blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care
provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
Customer: "**n. What do you recommend, then?"
Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it"
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
What's the damage?"
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four
kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
Your credit card balance is over its limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your
driver gets here."
Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."
Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
How long will it take?"
Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,
sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out
getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."
Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"
Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your
car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."
Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"
Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already
got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke
your ad says I get with the pizzas."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents
us from offering free soda to diabetics."
LMAO Did you come up with that on your own, cause that is good shït.
In regards to the "nothing to hide" arguement. Do you or have you ever fileshared? Do you do full 2 second stops at stopsigns or before turning
right on red? MP3s on your harddrive? Ever looked at porn? Personally, I agree with clearmind in saying that RFID is a bad idea. What will you say
when the government wants all your biometric data on an RFID chip that you either wear as a necklace, carry on an ID card, or is implanted under your
skin? Still have nothing to hide?
future health problems aren't the person checking my IDs business, either is the number of people in my immediate
family, or my tax income bracket, my salary, my phone number, etc. Can I prove I am who I say I am? Easily, I all ready have a Social Security card,
Driver's License, Passport, voter registration card, and selective service card. Personally, I'd rather look after these 5 forms of ID and present
whichever one is needed rather than having my entire life put onto a biometric RFID chip.
