My Nightmares have returned

A couple of years ago, I went through a really intense period of my life where I was having very frightening nightmares on a nightly basis. It got to the point where I would be afraid here in my home at night, I couldn't watch horror movies, and I had the fear their was a presence in my apartment. I talked to some people about what was happening, and I think it was asala who suggested that I get a little nightlight. That really helped. The nightmares ceased, and slowly the fear left as well. I know the fear isn't rational.... But there is no denying its presense. Anyhow, I have had nightmares sincee then, but I usually wake up, force the dream from my mind and go right back to sleep. But those are normal nightmares. Then last night, the terror returned in full force.

I was dreaming about something. There was a big wheel in front of me, and I had to keep turning it. I can't really recall too much more than that. I just have some vague impressions in my mind of some images. Nothing really scary, although I admit it sounds weird. Weird I can deal with. I woke up from my dream, the room was dark. There was a little light coming in from the window, just the street lights I guess. But the next instant, I froze with terror.

Something was sitting on my chest! I couldn't see it at first. But I could feel it there. It's weight pressing down on me. I was afraid to move. I could sense the pure malevolence just dripping off of this thing. As I looked, I could sort of see the outline of it. Just the edges were glowing very dimly in a reddish sort of purple glow. I don't know what the hell it could have been. It was about the size of a child though I think. At least that is the impression I got. I guess the rational part of my mind sort of said, "Hey dude, this is impossible", so I tried to reach up and touch whatever it was that was there.

I could not move my arms more than a few inches. The best way to describe it is it felt like when you try and push two magnets together and they repel. Thats what it felt like. Whatever was holding my arms down. I felt so scared. Then I guess I really woke up and it was gone. I could move freely. But I was still scared. I was afraid I would look and see some demon standing next too me. I couldn't go back to sleep for a while either, I was too afraid to close my eyes. I made a conscious effort to replay what I was dreaming about before the incident so that I would remember when I woke up, but that obviously didn't work.

Now, sitting here with the sun shining outside, my fears feel foolish. I am rationalizing that it was just a dream. But for some reason, in the middle of the night, by myself, my fear feels very scary! I just hope that this is an isolated incident. The last time that I was having similar experiences, it felt like there were demons after me. Thats what last night felt like, again. I guess I will just keep this thread as an ongoing log if these nightmares come back. I am not at the point yet where I feel I need to go back to the nightlight, but if this continues I will. I am also digging out my dream diary, to write down these dreams when I have them, so I can retrain myself to remember all the details when I am awake.

It sounds like anxiety dreams and an episode of sleep paralysis. I always have nightmares when I'm worried. It's usually about zombies, but once in a while it is something like losing all my teeth, or trying and trying to get something done and I just can't do it.

Stress can bring on sleep paralysis, too. Try some chamomile tea at bedtime to help reduce your stress levels and calm yourself down a bit and see if that doesn't help.

That is so cool! I have dreams about zombies and my teeth falling out too. The zombie dreams tend to be scarier though than the teeth dreams. I suppose it could be stress. Although, off hand, I can't think of anything unusual that might be stressing me out. Thanks for responding!

Gosh sorry to hear they have returned,

And yes it sounds like you had a sleep paralysis experience, And gosh I have had one of them before and there really really scary, like you I suffer nightmares alot,


Other suggestions to help may be to have your CD player and earphones on you, keep a night light on till you feel like you are in control of your fears again, I tend to end up thinking about the last nightmare the next night I scare myself silly loll, Another thing I do is try to get real tired, use a puzzle book and just go through them while laying in bed, your eyes end up getting tired as well as your brain,


That or what I have found really good is a soothing sounds machine, you can have it on low and listen to things like rain forests and beaches,





[edit on 8-10-2007 by asala]

Oh and teeth falling out dreams is a sign you are not happy with how you look, Or maybe how others perceive you.

[edit on 8-10-2007 by asala]

I am going to jot them down though now. I want to look at them. I didn't know that about the teeth falling out. I have been dreaming stuff like that my whole life practically.

I go to sleep each night with my ipod on, it helps me fall asleep. So falling asleep isn't the problem. It's my over active imagination. Like one time I was dreaming about zombies. And it was all dark outside, well really like dusk so you could see a bit. Anyhow, there I am in the countryside somewhere and I was wandering around trying to avoid getting eaten. So I come across this one girl zombie, and I felt a little attracted to her for some strange reason. Not really sexually attracted, because in the back of my mind I knew that things just couldn't work out for us in the long run.

So we were travelling together, with this tacit agreement that she wouldn't try and bite me. lol Anyhow, I won't torture you any longer to find out how that dream ended!

The nightlight really worked for me last time, but I am going to hold off on that right now. In a way I am kind of hoping the nightmares really are coming back, because its been a little boring around here. I can do without the sleep paralysis though, that really freaked me out last night.

Another take on the teeth falling out is that it represents a loss of power, or fear of such. I grind my teeth in my sleep, and one night I dreamed that my teeth just shattered. I woke up terrified, just like after a more violent kind of nightmare, convinced I had no teeth.

Sleep paralysis is terrifying. I haven't had an episode of it in years. That feeling of not being able to move your body is horrible. I don't know if you've seen it, but Stanford U has a pretty good sleep paralysis page.

Dream Dictionary

This dream dictionary may help to search for meanings. I use it but do get frustrated when there isn't something I have dreamt in there.

But, it is quite helpful.

Sorry to hear it William,

Here's a bit of a different take on this problem, and I hope you'll consider doing it.

Before going to sleep, picture yourself as a strong, fearless, conquerer.
Not Ghengis Khan or anything mind you, but, strong.
Throw away shapeless, nameless, baseless fears.
As you are drifting off to sleep, have a little daydream about kicking some alien, demon, gargoyle, butt.
Picture the poor little thing tucking his claws and tail between his legs and backing up from the 'new and improved' "William the Strong".
What the hell.
They haven't hurt you yet right?
Go for it.
Let us know if you try it.

I will definitely take your advice, and check out the dream dictionary. I find the whole subject of dreams having hidden meanings fascinating. Anyhow, I had another nightmare last night. No sleep paralysis this time, and it wasn't as scary as the previous night. But still it woke me up, around 3:30, which also freaks me out. There is something about that time of the night, and I suppose the state of conscious awareness, that makes the mind much more suseptible to suggestion.

I was dreaming I was back in the city where I grew up, and I was walking into my apartment building. There were some packages laying on the ground along with one of those tablets that the UPS guy makes you sign for suff. I saw the delivery was for my friend, so I signed the tablet and picked up the packages. I then went up several flights of stairs to an apartment.

It was all dark inside, and I walked all the way to the back room. There was a baby in there that needed its diaper changed. I don't know who the baby was or even if it was a girl or boy, because I was working in the dark. I did not throw the diaper out for some reason after I changed the thing. Anyhow, I go walking out into the hallway, and I start to worry where are my family. So I go to another darkened room, and all of a sudden I get the distinct impression that someone is in there. My stomach clenches a little, as I start to feel the evil intent of whatever it is in this room. I reach my hand into the room and try to turn the wall switch on. But the light won't go on.

I start to panic at this point because I feel totally vulnerable. So I wake up in my bed. I see that it is 3:38 am, and I start to freak out again that something is in the room with me. (I freak out about the time because of that movie, The Excorcism of Emily Rose). I reach over to turn my light on, and the lamp is broken! I start to feel really horrified again, when I wake up again! This time the lamp turns on. Whew! I grab my dream diary and jot down everything that happened.

Which is good, because I couldn't remember this dream until I re-read what I had written down this morning. This is the second night in a row where I have woken up in a dream, but really I am still dreaming.

Alexander the o.k. (awesome name btw) I will try your suggestion. But noit just yet, I find this too interesting right now.

WOS,

Exploring the inner self can be facinating. Just don't don't get stuck in there!

BTW, I assume you had testicular cancer by your name?

My little bro's middle name is William, had testicular cancer, surgery Chemo, so I guess he would be William One Ball?

P.s. They caught it in time, and he's O.K. now!

WOS, I don't have time at the moment to try to help you with what's going on -- I have some success at dream interpretation at times.

But it sounds to me like you're struggling with some kind of fear of loss. That's just the impression I get off the top.

I'll try to pop in later after court and see if I can help any more than this.

I had rectal cancer. They cut that out, did the chemo and radiation. But then it spread to my pelvis, so I needed another operation. I am on chemo indefinitely, because they did not get it all with the surgery. I have had too much radiation to have any more, and they can not cut any more out of me. That is not why I picked the user name William One Sac. But that is another story. I am glad to hear about your brother though Alexander.

And MM, you are probably thinking that this is my fear of loss etc... But the truth is I don't really dwell on my situation too much. And I have been in this holding pattern for almost two years. So maybe this could be connected to a fear of loss, etc.. Maybe more unconsciously. I don't know, but the situation is out of my control. Anyhow, it's kind of fun while it lasts, nothing exciting ever happens around here!

And as I was typing this, I remembered I had a dream that there were cockroaches crawling in my hair. Now that is a real fear of mine, I hate those things.

The two biggest fears most people have is the unknown, and not having control. People tend to place bandaids on their fears, by convincing themselves that they have more control than they actually do. They will either put up a tough front, or they will convince themselves that if they do something it will effect the outcome - for instance an old friend of mine believed that it was her will to live that kept her alive, and if she lost it, she would surely pass. If I kiss my daughter good night and tuck her in nothing bad will happen. Those are 'bandaids', the fictitious laws we create so we can function. The fear itself needs to be faced eventually. When the 'bandaids' come off you get a good look at the reality of how little you have control over. Thats when you have nightmares about the unknown. The things you cant see....cant see whats in the box, cant see the child, cant see the evil in the room, cant see your family. You try to regain control by turning on the light to see, but then you get the reality that you really have no control over weather or not the light comes on, you can turn the switch, but you cant control if the electricity is there or not.

It is just your subconcious trying to help you face your fear so you can loose what ever 'bandaids' you have. Bandaids tend to become very heavy, and unnecessary. Nightmares are kind of like a final exam before you go on to the next level in your life.

WOS, what you've been through is enough to explain those dreams, and ongoing chemo because they didn't get it all is the icing on the proverbial cake.

It's no wonder you're having nightmares and anxiety dreams. Sleep paralysis can be brought on by drugs/medications as well as great stress.

I have a feeling that journaling the dreams may help you get past whatever in your subconscious is "haunting" you (for want of a better word).

Medical stuff, especially life-threatening medical stuff, can cause subconscious terror. I have medical issues of my own, so I completely relate.

Hi William, the brave hearted (I like that for you)Just my here and now 2pence worth, Dreams are just the unfinished unresolved thrown into the unconscious didn't get to it in the day cause there were not enough hours kind of thing.

Dreams are just dreams.

You know well that no two interpretations will be the same unless they come from the same source.
Like clouds floating in the endless sky, passing by, they come and they go.
I used to love my scary dreams too, and I also enjoyed them, began to direct them, I could wake up 5 times in the night and go back to the dreams. At some point they just stopped.
Dream state is so awesome, it is a world unto its self, but the rules state clearly, you have to leave your conscious mind at the gate.
Have you ever met with others in your dream?

One more thing, I have to tell you what Jeff said today. First of all he is beginning to realize he is in the space where he is not yet a man but no longer a child and is feeling the differences of not being one of the mediocres (My silent interpretation)and finally after a good talk I said laughingly "When life gives you lemons,,," And he finished with "I know Mom you cut the lemon in half and grow a tree with the seeds" It was then that I realized this is a special person. You are the same type of person, and I know that you are going to be ok.

Offhand, I agree with Major Malfunction. Sounds like an anxiety attack in your sleep, following into wakefulness. Not that there wasn't a critter sitting on you chest. I had a ghost cat in my house for a couple of years who would scare the living cats and leave impressions in my comforter. Anyways... I'm not a doctor, but I do get anxiety attacks. And I've learned that when I'm having one in my sleep, whatever random thing I'm dreaming about becomes a nightmare. And after having it once, I get the same dream until I've worked it out in myself.
If you *are* having anxiety attacks, I feel for you. I think actually being haunted by something malicious would be preferable. At least then it'd be somewhat consistent and make sense.

I didn't realize you could have an anxiety attack while you were sleeping. But I have had anxiety attacks over the years, so it isn't out of the realm of possibility that this is what I am suffering from. It's just so strange that these came on As I stated earlier, I went through a similar period a while back, where I was having terrorfying nightmares almost every night. At the time, it got so bad to the point that I had to sleep with a nightlight on. And that seemed to do the trick. I suppose it reassured me and gave me some confidence or something that I was lacking. And they didn't come back until the other night. I mean, sure, I have had nightmares since then but they are in a totally different class.

On a side note, I watched the new Dawn of the Dead movie yesterday, or actually about 45 minutes of it. lol I had such a knot in my stomach I had to turn it off. The knot stayed in my stomach for a while. I was curious to see if this would induce zombie nightmares, but last night I couldn't fall asleep for anything. So I had no nightmares that I remember. The movie itself isn't very scary, but something about it triggers something very primal in me.

antar, I have met other people in my dreams. I also dream about places where I have never been. Sometimes I willl dream about a certain place, then completely forget about it while I am awake, then dream about the same place in my sleep and remember being there previously. Sometimes that will happen, and I will realize I am asleep, and then I will lucid dream for a while. You are a good friend, thanks for your kind words.

I've been having panic attacks since I left my ex, over child custody. My doc prescribed ativan to help me sleep, a very small dose. But it helped, and I'm not really having nightmares any more either.

If it interferes with your getting enough rest, looking into a small dose of an anxiety medication might help you through this as well.