how to talk to people

Originally posted by LDragonFire
Some other advice is to relax and be yourself, don't be closed off do not cross your arms or avoid eye contact, smile and listen to what they say and respond, watch the movie Hitch for more good examples

Funny you should say that... I have many problems socially. One of my biggest handicaps is that I'm not really good at making eye contact. When I shake someone's hand, I rarely make eye contact, then when I do look at them, they are looking at me like, "What the hell is wrong with you?

Talking to people has never been a problem for me. I can go anywhere...even the grocery store and leave there with new friends. Even on airplanes...a few glasses of wine....more friends

1 rule I go by is always look people in the eye, no matter what. Really pay attention to who you're talking to and give them your full attention. Be a good listener and you'll become a great talker.

agrees with many of PeaceUk's statements...

i just talk by whatever comes up...
just be yourself. Looking into their eyes helps sometimes. Of course depending on the person it may intimidate them.... of course that may be a good effect, makes them respect you. And of course, listening is an important aspect as well.

Same here basically, when i was at school i was pretty shy, but after i left that all seemed to change for some reason. I don't feel the need to pump up my body with muscles or anything like that, i get enough excercise at work folding metal sheets all day . I can talk to almost anybody about anything, and i have a rather circle of friends, the only thing is not all my friends get along!

I want to thank wildcat and all the other contributions on this thread. It's always good to know you're not the only one with a certain problem.

Thank you.

First and foremost...You "speak" to people not talk.

Language is a beautiful thing, and if you know what you are doing can manipulate anyone.

First, I would suggest the following...www.uky.edu...

Rhetorical speaking has been around for hundreds (if not a thousand) years.

Let me give you an example...

Wrong way...
You: What is your number? or Can I call you sometime?

Correct way...
You: Do you have a number where I can reach you at so we can talk sometime?

This difference between the two is very small but in a BIG way.

The first question allows for a choice to be made. An outlit for her to ethier reject your invitation or accept it.

The second response leaves little room for rejection.

You have 1) Asked her if she has a number, not if you can have it, which of course she has a number. so the answer is already yes. 2) Already made her mind up by saying you two are already going to speak in the future.

Its a way to be non pushy, or arrogant...yet you have narrowed your chances down for her to only accept your invitation because you gave her no choice in the matter (without making it seem that way)

Never ever deal in choices, make all statements or questions a "not if but when" statement.

Wrong way..."will you go out with me" or "Would you like to go get coffee"

Right way..."When are you and I going to get together" "When do I get to take you out for coffee"

Of course, this advice is not fool proof, and can always be rejected. But the way you present your statements can have a huge impact on how the person reacts to your approaches.

Another piece of advice for sparking a conversation...

Always Always carry a pack of smokes and a lighter (even if you dont smoke) I know it might sound gross to some of you, however a lot of women smoke, or only smoke when they drink.

My buddy carries around a lighter (a bic) that has his astro sign on it so when a chick asks for a lighter he gives it to her, she looks at it and says "oh your a tarus?" And its something as simple as that, that will spark an entire conversation. Its corny yes... but it works.

Second, if you do smoke...when you go out...switch to cloves. You need to make yourself unique over all the other puds out there. They smell really good, and they will ALWAYS attract attention.

Second, Now I know how bad this sounds BUT if you want something you gotta go get it.

We live in an age where the internet and information is everywhere. If you score a first or second date with a chick BEFORE you go...take whatever hint she dropped when you first met her and google the subject.

Because if you scored her number...you obviously talked to her and got a little info out of her. "yeah I grew up in Denver, and love 311 they are my all time favorite band"

Well, instead of going in there blind...use wikipedia and look up 311.

That way the next time you meet you can bring it up and be SEMI educated about topics that intrest her. Im not saying go home and memorize every detail about 311...Im saying skim over their bio and pick up some topics to discuss so that you can have a conversation with her where she can take over, and she is interested in.

"So you said 311 is your favorite band? I heard they play in New orleans every March 11th"

Thank you everybody for your help, but now I wont be needing it.

I have perfect social skills now and interact with women very well now.
I am on the verge of being with the girl of my dreams.

I would like a mod to close this thread because I will no longer be visiting it.

Originally posted by wildcat

I have perfect social skills now

Congratulations! Perfection was the skill I was going to suggest when I first came to the thread

Originally posted by wildcat
I am on the verge of being with the girl of my dreams.

Very cool! Grats again

I am curious, is that the girl you mentioned in the beginning then?

Originally posted by Lucid Lunacy

Originally posted by wildcat
I am on the verge of being with the girl of my dreams.

Very cool! Grats again

I am curious, is that the girl you mentioned in the beginning then?

yes

reply to post by wildcat


Alrighty then.

Perfect communication eh? lol

Oh I'm sorry, that was one hell of a night when I posted that. So I didn't feel like saying much.

Oh I'm sorry, that was one hell of a night when I posted that. So I didn't feel like saying much.

I see.

So things still working out okay for you with this girl?