Five Bands that should never have made it, page 1

1. Grand Funk Railroad

They went from free festivals to Madison Square Garden almost in the blink of an eye. Sold out concerts, multi-million selling albums, and most importantly--street cred--made Grand Funk Railroad maybe the most popular band among kids just turning freaky at the end of the sixties. Listening to their songs now, one realizes: 1) the playing was inept, 2) the singing amateurish and not in a good way, and 3) the writing was lame. Despite their place in history and the occasional song played on Classic Rock radio, this band is almost forgotten.

2. The Sex Pistols

Formed as a way to promote Malcolm McClaren's shop "Sex", the Sex Pistols were born to self-destruct. Glen Matlock had talent and had written some songs, so of course he had to go. Sid Vicious couldn't play and was mostly not around, so Steve Jones had to play his bass parts on their only album. John Lydon was mostly famous for changing his name to Johnny Rotten. Despite all this, the band managed to issue some fantastic punk rock singles. Their one album stands as both a welcome sign and a tombstone for the band that never (really) was.

Marketed more as an affront to public decency than a rock band, the Sex Pistols were Malcolm McClaren's answer to the Monkees.

Speaking of which...

3. The Monkees

They weren't called the Pre-Fab Four for nothing. TV execs wanted a Hard-Day's-Night concept band for a TV show. Mickey Dolenz was an actor who had never been in a band. Davy Jones was so talented he was given a tambourine. The "band" didn't even play their own instruments on most of their hits. The fact that decades later we can still buy BOXED SETS of this group's albums is testimony to the fact that they are taken WAY too seriously.

4. The Beatles

Speaking of the Fab Four, they were the greatest band in history, right?

Not quite. Before being signed to EMI/Parlophone, they were turned down by Decca Records. Listening to the Decca Tapes it's easy to see why: the band is undisciplined, sloppy, and the talent isn't quite shining brightly. Decca is universally and unfairly condemned for turning down the Beatles, but a quick listen to these never-meant-to-be released songs will convince anyone that George Martin had more to do with the Beatles' success than he is given credit for.

5. The Grateful Dead

If not for the mystique of their druggy San Francisco psychedelic band persona, the Dead are nothing more than a fourth-rate pretentious blues band that also plays bad country music. That their following almost makes them a religious cult is evidence more of the audience's obsessive tendencies than the band's talent. Great name though.

[edit on 10/5/07 by Zane Zackerly]