Fall in love to easy

Hello,



I should give a backround story here, but It will run too long.

At one of my deliveries, there is a hot young woman. I knew from the start she wasnt available. but to make a long story short, do to wishful thiking/misinterp. I got ideas, like I felt a vibe from her.
I think my shyness and these fabricated thoughts, added to the awkwardness of me having to go there.
Also there is the girls dad and maybe her brother. And a new girl.
Well the other day they were all sitting there, and the dad introduced me to the new girl. Obviously an attempt to like hook us up type thing.
All I know is my face started twiching and I started to sweat.
But I did manage to glance at her, and she seemed to go along with it.
She said "just dont call me mike"...that is my name, mike. so I dont know if she knew my name and meant me, or what she meant.
All I know is, I would like to try and make somthing happen.
My plan is to try and play it cool and normal. Try to talk with her and see if I get any signs to advance.
But I feel a love feeling already like she is the one...but I couldnt even greet her in a proper way when we met.
I havent had much luck with women, and the first sign of any interest or friendliness, I misinterp and get too strong of feelings why is that?

Speaking as a person who always falls too hard too fast, you're confusing lust and interest with love. It usually has to do with self esteem issues. You can't love someone you don't know.

Get to know her. Take her out. Don't read too much into it. But don't profess love and don't move too fast. It's a recipe for disaster.

There's no such thing as love at first sight. There's only the rush of hormones from physical attraction. Love has to be based on respect, and without knowing someone you cannot possibly respect them.

Ok... Like MM said, you are mixing up physical attraction/infatuation with love. Love takes time and care and getting to know the other person.

There is no such thing as love at first sight.

Infatuation takes about 30 seconds of looking a girl up and down and getting some dirty thoughts.

Learn to diffrentiate the two and you won't find yourself constantly "falling in love".

Originally posted by Paresthesia
Ok... Like MM said, you are mixing up physical attraction/infatuation with love. Love takes time and care and getting to know the other person.

There is no such thing as love at first sight.

Perhaps not, but strong attractions and sex can and do happen at first sight/meet.

Every person has a different way of dealing with those attractions when they happen.

If you have good vibes, go for it.


There is a lot more biology involved then people give the human race credit for. Though many times people are not aware of, our own signature smells give a us and instant clue. Though we actuall are not aware of smelling them.
In fact, daughters are unconsciously repulsed by the smells of fathers so that there is no mixing involved.

Then there are pheremones. They depict of our status, lust, unavailable, creepy, unhealthy, etc. Or"I am ready to go right now"


Then there are subtle clues that we are not conscious of: the raising of temperature, the position of hands, legs, head. Folded arms could be relaxed or defiant. A person who is interested in someone can be turned towards that person. Our heads are tilted toward them. We play with our hair. Pupils dialate.
So while many of us are not immediatley conscious of these things, our brains register them. Adn we get a feeling that things are "meant to be" or "we immediately clicked."

You can have puppy love at first sight. But it is not the same as the deep mature love of a long term commitment. Puppy love is natures way of people hooking up and having kids. Nature isn't concerned with long term commitments, that is something that is learned and is hard work.Though is does ensure procreation and the proper raising of children.


The number one thing that makes people attracted to each other? Confidence. People have a confidence radar. And can smell desperation a mile away. You can have the 40 yo virgin and walk up and ask a female"so, what is your sign?" and the female rolls her eyes adn walks away. You can have a pickup artist walk up to the same female and ask" so what is your sign?" and she smiles and responds.

The difference is that the desparate guy reeks of desperation, and nature has it that a deperate person is unwanted by others for some reason, therefor not good material for you.
The pickup artist knows that if you don't like him, the girl 2 bar stools down will. And could care less if you like him or not. And, he is not desperate. Therefore, the confidence is a wanted commodity.
Because confidence is an attractive feature, It means you have the ability to go for what you want, jobs, money, health, the pursuit of happiness. Someone who is not confident won't have the desire to go after anything, therefore can't be a good provider.

So biologically speaking, it is natural that if anyone of us get rejected, we wonder"what is wrong with me?" and it damages the ego, and makes us afraid of getting rejected again.

But sometimes the chemistry just isn't there. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, your chemistries just don't work together. The pheremones or scents are wrong.Or the person is a jerk. Or there are emotional problems or a slew of other reasons.

But this is why when you are in a relationship, you get approached more. Because you are confident. someone has found you attractive. Your pheremones reeks of desire and being desired, which makes you a commodity and people sense it. I always meet people, only when I am not looking.
Crazy thing I found: I got hit on the most when I was pregnant! I had a guy hit on me when I was with my husband!

Either way, it wasn't meant to be. There are a lot of people on this ball of dirt. So if one isn't good for you, another is. But don't let it ruin you, or hurt your ego, and make you desperate.

This person clicked with you. Go for her!!! But do it with confidence. That the world isn't going to end if it doesn't work.


If you can't be happy with yourself, how can someone else be happy with you? Don't worry, be happy.
LOL
sorry, couldn't help myself.


And be yourself. People can sense a phony. They are going to find out who you are anyways so let it hang out, with in reason of course.

So in a nutshell, it is easy to feel in love, instantly. Nature has designed it that way. But at about a year time, you tend to re-evaluate and figure out that this person is not the best for you after all.
Couples tend to do it at 1 year, 4 years, and seven years. This is why the average marriage breaks up at 7 years.

So people who tend to fall in love "EASILY" and "at sight" tend to have a string of short relationships. Generally a year or less. Because puppy love is confused with lifetime love.

I wish you the best of luck, and I really hope it works out for you.

Here is a great scenario for you:

I just wanted to add that many people "know" when they meet the right person.

I met my husband long before we started dating at a party, when I was there with a long time boyfriend. Yet our eyes met and somehow I knew we would end up together. I lived with someone and couldn't see how.

But then less then a year later, boyfriend broke up with me. Husband and I decided to become roommates (because I didn't have a place to live)
and started to care about each other while we were hanging out, and ended up caring about each other.
When bf broke up with me, I spent two months trying to get him back,I begged, pleaded, waited on him, and did everything in my power and mend the relationship, and he wouldn't have it. And wouldn't give me the time of day.

As soon as I made arrangements to move out and started hanging out with friends and H. Lo and behold bf did a 360 and wanted me back. Funny how that works.

So mailman, you haven't really said if you fall in love too easily or not, Do you love this girl you just met?? If you like her you should let her know

Thanks for the replies.

I am now honestly thinking maybe, they were trying to help me be more comfortable possibly. I dont know, what a mindbender.

Im all but over the love feeling. This is never about physical attraction its just the friendly nice personalities that im subject to.

The thing that bothers me is that this isnt the only customer I experienced this love feeling.
Another place, I had to deal with a beautiful friendly girl every time.
And I always just tried to get in and out you know. I never know what to say to these people. I swore we were perfect for eachother. And I think she knew this too. Wich is why she felt awkward and now I dont deal with her now, I felt like they change duties around because of me, but I think this is just my overthinking in play here.

I could say they had me deal with this girl knowing I would gullably help put their deliveries away for them, wich I did up untill the other day. but I can take the blame I shouldnt have had any sort of thoughts about someone I didnt really know.

alot more I could try to explain and would like to understand but thanks for the replies.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
You can't love someone you don't know.

Actually you can.

It's called Limerance.

Have you heard the phrase "you're the object of my limerance" before? I hadn't before I wrote it into wikipedia, but that's besides the point. Here is the link for more info:

Wikipedia on Limerance

Okay I didn't edit it. But here is my definition of it:

Limerance:
After a hopeless romantic experiences all stages of lonliness and bitterness, the love-cursed victim, clinging desperately to idealism, blankets him or herself in a pathology that in turn grants him or her the power to turn anyone into that persons True Love. The end.

If that made no sense then consult the Wiki link