Janasstar,
I believe you. I apologize for all the crap you've taken in this thread. But, I have to say, we each live a life different from each other and the
events that take place during that life builds the person who experiences it. The events in your life have made you scared, frail, and deeply wounded.
That sucks. But, I think there is a reason YOU had to go through all that. I have no inkling as to the why. I know that evil resides in all of us and
it's up to the individual person to recognize it and react. Either you follow the urge to commit evil acts or you suppress it and fight it all your
life to be a good soul.
I believe you are a good soul. I believe you were subjected to evil and you successfully fought it off to become the person you are- a caring,
nurturing soul. So aware that evil exists and therefore you recognize it when it appears in front of you. You naturely fight it.
I won't try to say I'm sorry you went through what you did, but, I will say I'm sad that you had to. The experiences you've related are dark. So
dark it would take a VERY strong soul to survive it...and you did.
Shine, baby, shine! You were trained to recognize evil and resist it. Fight your fight however you can.
Cuhail