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Blokes Rules

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posted on Sep, 27 2007 @ 05:41 AM
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The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
>From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, the shotgun formation,
or NASCAR.


1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.




posted on Sep, 27 2007 @ 07:34 AM
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Ok..now I don't care who you are..that there's funny right there...

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, the shotgun formation,
or NASCAR.


*Hey, sex, cars and Nascar...I can handle.....
Very good list...Flagged and starred...



posted on Sep, 27 2007 @ 08:12 AM
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Wow Budski, you're right about all the stuff ya said , I can't even believe ya did a thread for this....hehehhehehe , good stuff buddy. ( I Flagged ya thread buddy, need more men to reply on this !!!! )

[edit on 27-9-2007 by steve-o]



posted on Sep, 27 2007 @ 02:18 PM
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What a classic list!!!

You sound a lot like Tom Leykis-heh (Tom Leykis)




posted on Sep, 27 2007 @ 05:11 PM
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haha if i ever get married i'm going to print this out and put it on my fridge



posted on Sep, 27 2007 @ 05:50 PM
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this is just too cool.
man i dont know whats with them expecting us to read HINTS.
i feel like REALLY REALLY dumb this way,she makes some invisible hints that i never see,then when i see some hint it turns out it was NOT a hint
DAMMMM IT!!!
some girls think theyve gained weight but theyr thin as a carrot
but yea they look them selfs in the mirror,if thers fat,well why ask us you ARE fat

and I HATE SHOPPINg ,the word is nasty,where they get money from?gulluble dads and boyfriends



posted on Sep, 27 2007 @ 08:19 PM
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reply to post by Unisol
 
Ya made me laugh buddy, you're correct on all the stuff ya said
, this thread is gonna be a classic , lets all thank Budski for doin' what most men on this forum wanted to do, but without takin' the blame for it , hehehehhe.........




posted on Sep, 29 2007 @ 08:13 PM
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reply to post by steve-o
 



all the women hate this thread - but it's true

LMAO


:w:



posted on Sep, 29 2007 @ 11:19 PM
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So true so so true ...where is my wife she must read this



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