All this talk about "healthy marriages" has got me thinking about my own beliefs and marriage. I'm curious what others think about getting married again if/when your spouse dies. Would you remarry if your husband or wife died? If you would, how long would you wait? How do you feel about them remarrying if YOU kick the bucket?

*I personally would not..............unless, of course, there was a large sum of money involved...first time was for love...second time for money

[Edited on 1/22/2004 by Venus]

[Edited on 1/22/2004 by Venus]

I have been with my current girl for 3 years and expect to be with her for whatever time I have left. However if something were to happen, I just don't think that I would have the energy to go through the whole courting process again. I'll just buy some more cats.

Originally posted by Jonna
I just don't think that I would have the energy to go through the whole courting process again. I'll just buy some more cats.

HAHAHHA....I know what you mean

Check my wedding site. My fiance's late husband was also my best friend.

I would want to see her happy if I died, and likewise, I know she'd want the same. Just because you can love again, doesn't nullify or demean the former love...

Originally posted by Gazrok
I would want to see her happy if I died, and likewise, I know she'd want the same. Just because you can love again, doesn't nullify or demean the former love...

I agree with Gaz on this 100%.

i see nothing wrong with falling in love again and spending time with someone else, but personally I wouldn't do the "marriage" thing again.

but the institution of "marriage" never meant much to me anyways, except for the legal benefits.

Sometimes people just marry for the financial benefits...
Hope your man understood why you did it.

I got married and is the best decision I ever made....

A true relationship is found in marraige. I haven't been closer to a man, he's like my best friend.
I don't get sick of him, we understand eachother 100%, and give selflessly...

I love him to death and look forward to future vacations, getting dogs, and and more vacations.

I love when he comes home and we can lay by the fire, watch tv and not even have to say anything...
He's the best guy i've ever met... Not a bonehead at all.

I really don't know how to describe it because it's so great.. Speechless, i guess.

Originally posted by Venus
All this talk about "healthy marriages" has got me thinking about my own beliefs and marriage. I'm curious what others think about getting married again if/when your spouse dies.

I don't know if I would... I wouldn't want to get remarried, but I also know that I would have to move on... Maybe if a man came along and understood he could never take the place of my former husband, I don't know about that. That's something I would have to get counselling on, haha. In a way it just wouldn't seem right.

Would you remarry if your husband or wife died? If you would, how long would you wait?

I would wait along time... I would have to come to terms with the death, if I ever would, I don't know.
10 years maybe, maybe even 3... ??? I would need to get a therapist to talk to me about it.

How do you feel about them remarrying if YOU kick the bucket?

I would want them to move on if they felt they could, I want them to be happy. I know nobody could ever take my place, and I know I would never be forgotten.
I don't know how the other woman would feel being in that position though. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable being the "other" woman.

Recently married. Love it. However if something happened I would want my wife to be happy after i was gone. That said, she better morn me for at least a year or I am going to come back as Casper the unfriendly ghost and haunt her new dudes arse in a big way!

Originally posted by dreamrebel
come back as Casper the unfriendly ghost and haunt her new dudes arse in a big way!

Would you be an anal sphincter specter then?


Sorry I had to say it.

Originally posted by Jonna
Would you be an anal sphincter specter then?
Sorry I had to say it.

ROLLING ON FLOOR LAUGHING.....GOOOD ONE!

Yeah baby !! That was funny

GAZ.....Your situation is different. I have checked out your website before. You actually had agreed to watch after her didn't you?

Worldwatcher......you remind me of someone else that used to be here. Her and I agreed to disagree. I feel sad that marriage is nothing more than a legal arrangement to you

I think I wouldn't get married again because I believe in the "soul mate" theory. I can't imagine letting another man be a father to my kids nor would I want another woman replace me as a mother. If I didn't have kids it might be different.

My wife of 5 years died FEb 03, and we had actually had the conversation at some point very early on about wether or not we would move on.

I guess this sort of removes me from the hypothetical part of the question, but I think I will move on eventually. Being a single parent with 2 small children is hard. Even more so when they are girls and Im a guy.

Not saying that that would be my motivation behind re marrying, but it will help it along if and when the time comes.

She had told me herself long ago that she would want me to move on, and I know I will eventually.
I dont really think that there is a guideline to the time you wait before dating again. Its all up to the individual. I dated someone a few months after she died, although it was not for healthy reasons. I was just guilt ridden, and grasping for anything to make me feel better. Lesson learned though.

It all depends on you. If it would have been me in her place, I would have wanted her to move on.

I am very sorry for your lose. I can't even imagine what it must be like trying to raise two little ones by yourself. My prayers are with you.

I am so sorry to hear about your wife DJ. I lost my father on feb 18 but cant imagine loosing a spouse after only 5 years. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. Keep Strong!

Baked

Thanx guys. I appreciate it. I guess really all I can say is that you never know when you will never get another chance to tell your other half how you feel.
A tired cliche, but true.

Originally posted by DjNothing
Thanx guys. I appreciate it. I guess really all I can say is that you never know when you will never get another chance to tell your other half how you feel.
A tired cliche, but true.

HEY NYEFF..........I LOVE YOU

I doubt I would re-marry. I met my wife about 20 years ago. Been married for almost 15 years. (see I do rember:pbjtime
I think I was meant to be with my wife and no other. Just a gut feeling.

DJ...I am sorry about your lose.

I love you too Venus.....You are my soulmate.

Originally posted by nyeff
I doubt I would re-marry. I met my wife about 20 years ago. Been married for almost 15 years. (see I do rember:pbjtime
I think I was meant to be with my wife and no other. Just a gut feeling.

DJ...I am sorry about your lose.

I love you too Venus.....You are my soulmate.

I agree with you on that one too Nyeff ... from my standpoint I don't think I would remarry either. Losing a spouse like that is like a big part of you is no longer there and it takes time to regroup from those instances. I don't see myself as the kinda guy that can go jump into a new relationship just like that .... ooohhhh nooo ... I don't think it's right and definitely wouldn't feel right.