Chiiru, thank you. Okay, I'll break the ice. One of the reason I first starting lurking here on ATS was a suspicion of having experienced
........... something. I didn't, nor do I still, know if it is real, or if it relates to the abduction phenomenon. I know something weird and
[currently] unexplained has happened. Alternatives I've explored: brain tumor, psychosis, flashbacks from discreet compounds ingested during my
misspent youth, radiation effects, physiological chemistry imbalance, supernatural influence and/or malevolent entities, abduction, insanity.
Honestly, I'm no further along the quest than I was 10 years ago, but I am further along in my comfort than similar phenomenon are/have been
experienced by others. If we're all legally insane, I'm not alone. Strange how comforting that statement is.
I have no memory of aliens, others, demons, abduction. I have been examined and tested by various physicians, and many of them have prescribed
medication to augment my ability to sleep. It has been hypothesized that I suffer or have suffered from sleep paralysis, a common ailment that many
report. I have not undergone hypnosis, nor do I care to at this point.
Some of my earliest memories are of having a neighbor drag me to my parents house when I was a wee sprout, having been discovered 1/2 mile from home
in a field with a flashlight in the middle of the night. I remember my father arguing with the neighbor, when the neighbor was accusing him of not
taking care of his kid. In my mind, at that time, I was looking for bugs under rocks. Again, no memory of aliens. Tell you the truth, I prefer
that that's all it was. Little flashes of memory, elusive little snippets of disturbing stuff pop into my head now and then. I've decided I'm
I have meditated, prayed, called to the "others", asking for them, someone, something to talk to me directly and stop scaring the crap out of me.
Zip. I chose to not have children, and thankfully, my Bride had the same notion, thus we have no kids to fret about. I've set up video cameras,
and a cheap little camera we have that takes pictures triggered by a motion detection. Zip. My Bride no longer worries that I will turn into an axe
murdered between waking and sleep. She has no memory of "others" either. These days I sleep fairly soundly, only waking up two or three times a
night. I no longer have to obsessively check the locks, having arrived at a lockdown procedure each night that I know is as good as it can get.
My Bride had a tubal pregnancy when she was younger, and the subsequent operation resulted in the child being lost, and her being unable to have
children. Let it so be written.
Thus, Ive worked with various forums on the internet. I'm not certain about the procedures here at ATS. There are places on the internet that
collect such information. I don't believe I'm allowed to post them. There are places I am registered with and work with these sites, even
though some of what they talk about and promote seems too fantastic to be believeable. Thus, I have an open mind, and continue to do what I can to
help others in this tenuous position.
IF my experiences turn out to be alien related, then I resent the hell out of them. I believe aliens exist. If they do, I can't imagine why they
wouldn't relate to us in a more straight-forward manner. It really pisses me off, if that's the case, and it's certainly possible that that anger
is a barrier.
OR, I'm just insane. Who can say.
Thanks for the thread. I think I need to say that every few years. Blow off steam.
[edit to clarify "mon"]
It occurs to me that "mon" is easy to misunderstand, if you don't live in the Carribean. It's a nongender term of respect/friendliness.
[edit on 12-6-2008 by argentus]