posted on Sep, 24 2007 @ 08:20 AM
i am at the end of my rops here.
let me give you the abridged version.
when i was 18 i herniated a disc. started the medicine rotation. therapy/meds, etc..when i was 21 i had a discectomy(replacement). they went in via my
belly and took out the disc and put in a cadaever bone, a piece of bone from my hip, and a titanium cage....
here i am about to turn 30 and the pain is still there......diagnosis was actual degenerative disc disease....the herniation was what started it
my current diagnosis is 'failed back'(whatever the * that is)....
now, i was taking duragesic in the form of a patch(duragesic is fentanyl) and for breakthrough pain, i had actiq, which was fentanyl in the form of a
lolli pop....it was amazing....the actiq would literally take my pain from 9 to 1. it had next to zero side effects.
i get a letter from my insurance company and they pulled and entire class of drugs from me. no more duragesic, no more actiq, no more fentanyl,
fentora, avinza, morphine, etc.....gone
as you can imagine, pain instantly skyrockets.
so she gives me vicodin. 10's and i'm eating them like candy....pain is going away though but i am taking a lot.
now what? my bloodwork comes back that my liver functions are not normal..what could it be....they got me thinking i got hep c or liver cancer. had to
go get ultrasound and crap...turns out, it's all the acetomenophin in the vicodin.
so now, no more vikes.
so i take methadone(which i HATE) and valium.....thats it.
no breakthrough meds, nothing......and, it's just not working.
my doc won't give me the vikes or percocet or whatever cause of my liver levels before.
i go see her this week though and i am gonna lay it down to her....i never lie to my doc. she knows i smoke and i'm gonna tell her what my plan
what i am getting at is i am 30 years old and have spend the last 12 years of my life in pain and quite frankly, i'm done.
right now, i don't care about the liver..it heals itself. i will take B1 and alter my diet..
i'm gonna tell her in all honesty that i don't think what is happening is working for me and that if i can not get what i want, i am going to stop
seeing the doc and 'medicate myself'...thats how i am gonna put it.
what i don't get is while the ins company took a class of drugs away from me, there are still tons of stuff out there that is affordable....that is
she has offered up things but insurance won't cover and it is crazy expensive.....
i don't work and i don't have any kids at the house....
i want SOME * percocet or some 10 mg vicodin....i want some soma or some friggin lorazapam......gimmie some friggin rohypnol......
i don't care....i WANT something that when i take it, i am going to be jacked up.....i want to NOT FEEL PAIN....
i think it is my choice as it is my body.....
i know the docs take an oathe not to do any harm BUT, imo, me being under medicated is doing more harm than giving me meds that are going to leave me
so thats what is going down....i want some heavy hitter that is gonna put me down.....i'm serious........tired of this toughing it out with what i
have crap....people have a right to live thei life not in severe pain and some changes are about to happen, one way or the other.............
thanks for reading
[edit on 24-9-2007 by Boondock78]