i am so tired of the pain....gonna lay it out for my doc

i am at the end of my rops here.
let me give you the abridged version.
when i was 18 i herniated a disc. started the medicine rotation. therapy/meds, etc..when i was 21 i had a discectomy(replacement). they went in via my belly and took out the disc and put in a cadaever bone, a piece of bone from my hip, and a titanium cage....
here i am about to turn 30 and the pain is still there......diagnosis was actual degenerative disc disease....the herniation was what started it all

my current diagnosis is 'failed back'(whatever the * that is)....
now, i was taking duragesic in the form of a patch(duragesic is fentanyl) and for breakthrough pain, i had actiq, which was fentanyl in the form of a lolli pop....it was amazing....the actiq would literally take my pain from 9 to 1. it had next to zero side effects.

i get a letter from my insurance company and they pulled and entire class of drugs from me. no more duragesic, no more actiq, no more fentanyl, fentora, avinza, morphine, etc.....gone

as you can imagine, pain instantly skyrockets.

so she gives me vicodin. 10's and i'm eating them like candy....pain is going away though but i am taking a lot.
now what? my bloodwork comes back that my liver functions are not normal..what could it be....they got me thinking i got hep c or liver cancer. had to go get ultrasound and crap...turns out, it's all the acetomenophin in the vicodin.
so now, no more vikes.
so i take methadone(which i HATE) and valium.....thats it.
no breakthrough meds, nothing......and, it's just not working.

my doc won't give me the vikes or percocet or whatever cause of my liver levels before.

i go see her this week though and i am gonna lay it down to her....i never lie to my doc. she knows i smoke and i'm gonna tell her what my plan is.

what i am getting at is i am 30 years old and have spend the last 12 years of my life in pain and quite frankly, i'm done.

right now, i don't care about the liver..it heals itself. i will take B1 and alter my diet..
i'm gonna tell her in all honesty that i don't think what is happening is working for me and that if i can not get what i want, i am going to stop seeing the doc and 'medicate myself'...thats how i am gonna put it.

what i don't get is while the ins company took a class of drugs away from me, there are still tons of stuff out there that is affordable....that is key....
she has offered up things but insurance won't cover and it is crazy expensive.....
i don't work and i don't have any kids at the house....


i want SOME * percocet or some 10 mg vicodin....i want some soma or some friggin lorazapam......gimmie some friggin rohypnol......

i don't care....i WANT something that when i take it, i am going to be jacked up.....i want to NOT FEEL PAIN....

i think it is my choice as it is my body.....

i know the docs take an oathe not to do any harm BUT, imo, me being under medicated is doing more harm than giving me meds that are going to leave me in pain......

so thats what is going down....i want some heavy hitter that is gonna put me down.....i'm serious........tired of this toughing it out with what i have crap....people have a right to live thei life not in severe pain and some changes are about to happen, one way or the other.............


thanks for reading

[edit on 24-9-2007 by Boondock78]

That's rough, man.

The insurance companies in this country are outrageous. Profit should not come before people. When I saw Sicko I was pretty angry with Henry J. Kaiser and Richard Nixon. It's Tricky Dick's fault you can't get the meds you need.

I lived in England for four years, and even though the NHS has its problems, if you needed meds or a surgery, YOU GOT THEM. It didn't matter because there's no profit structure set up for the NHS to make money off your pain.

A couple of our news channels have segments they do when consumers are ripped off by companies. They call up and somehow (probably by promises of negative publicity) get the consumer taken care of, even if the consumer has been trying for months to deal with a problem on their own.

And then there's always Michael Moore.

That's all I've got. If I lose my insurance and meds, I'll end up dying a slow, ugly death, so I wish you all the best, and I really hope you can get your insurance company to treat you responsibly.

Man, I feel for you because I also have disc issues and my back is messed up.

I was in a car accident 8 years ago and broke my tail bone and messed up a bunch of other stuff. After the initial pain from the accident went away, I was ok for about a year with just mild to med pain but one morning I bent down to tie my shoes and my back went out completely to where I could not do anything but lay on the floor. I couldn't even pull myself up to get back in bed. I spent a full week in the hospital on morphine until the pain decreased enough to be able to walk again. This now happens about twice a year where i'm laid up for at least a week.

I have been on pain meds ever since and the thing that really pisses me off is that whenever it starts getting bad again and I request a refill, I get treated like i'm a drug addict! The last doctor I saw told me it was just mild arthritis in my joints and that was after looking at my last MRI results that clearly stated what my issues were.

I don't really want to turn to "self medication" but I will if I continue to be treated like this. People that don't have to live everyday of their lives in pain simply do not understand what people like us go through.

Good luck man, I hope you get the means to help you through the pain.

[edit on 26-9-2007 by Anjin]

I also have suffered many years with sciatica. Falling down in public places because my leg gives out, sitting in a chair and not being able to get up because my leg is completely numb, the terrible pain running across my lower back and down my legs.

About a year ago after years of pain meds and self medicating, my Dr. had me try Nuerontin. I'm on 3200mg a day, the only side effects that I have is mild dizziness which is rare. I must say it has helped tremendously. I still have pain and can't do the things I used to do, but the pain I have now is nothing like what I felt before and I don't have the addictions I had to pain killers.

Nuerontin, from what the Dr. told me, basically deadens the nerve endings so that the pain is not felt, although its still basically there, its just not felt.
All I know is it works! It did take months to get the dose adjusted, so if its something you might want to try, don't give up on it, just have the doc increase it.

I hope this helps, and also this medication is covered by insurance. I have the worst insurance anyone could have and only pay 5 dollars for it(a month).

reply to post by Anjin



i get looked at like/treated like a drug seeker all the time...all tatted up.

i have to go to the er quite a bit for pain spikes and get a shot. if they can get ahold of my doc, she tells them what to give me but there was an er doc there for a but that would make me pee in a cup before they would give me any meds.



i was on neurontin a while back...didn't really help me...glad it is helping you though

Hang in there!!!!!

Here's a little tip from the backroom of the E.R..... Ah my days of fun working in the E.R. before I screwed my back up and was shown the door (how ironic)...

Anywho. There is a supplement on the market called "NAC" (N-Acetyl-Cysteine) which can be found in any health food/vitamin store. It is also used in the E.R. for Acetaminophen poisoning. Here is the magic --- if you get rx'd vikes or percs again (being in pain sucks!) just take the "NAC" daily and it will safeguard your liver from the evil effects of the APAP! Just google N-Acetyl-Cysteine to learn the mechanisms of action.. It really is neat, and is totally 100% safe (since it again, is used to detoxify the APAP overdoses in the E.R.)..

A word of caution. I had also contemplated the whole "If you don't RX such and such, I'll self medicate" speech.. Until I remembered that the doc will most likely chart that conversation and then you'll REALLY be S.O.L.
But, I might be over-reacting since I myself have had some pretty super-horrible doc experiences.... I've learned the best way to go about things is to (most of the time) play stupid, and make "hints" about your treatment plan to give the docs a feeling that they are making the decision (they seem to like that).. But then again, I'm sitting here in pain, med-less (insurance gone).