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about to turn 30.....getting very depressed

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posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 08:01 AM
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this really blows...
i am 29 and in march i hit the BIG 30...
a fast background. i got hurt when i was 18. i have degenerative disc disease..had a spinal fusion at 21 yrs old. it failed and i have been on meds, in therapy, and in pain constantly since then.
i am not able to do things i want to like run around the basketball court with my son or climb trees.
i feel like my 'young adulthood' was taken away from me....i am 30 by the numbers but my body feels so much older....

so now, i am just about 5 months away from hitting 30 and it is really freaking me out....

i am getting depressed and i know that is a normal part of my yearly cycle...it is fall here, starting to get cold...leaves are falling off the trees...gonna start to get cold as balls, dark at 5 and just be all around depressing.

so there is that but now i get to factor in the fact that i am turning 30.

i mean, i remembre when my mom was 30....i have pictures of us when i was 10 and she was 30...not I am 30 and my son will be 11 by then.....

life is NOT supposed to go by this fast. it is NOT supposed to be this way....the first 10 years of my adult life living in pain. nothing but pain to look forward too and now i have to deal with going downhill on top of it....

anyone else here have similar feelings when they hit 30?

thanks for talking.....

can we leave god out of this please.....i know it is bound to come up..ou know, get spiritual, feel better....

it's just not me so can we stick to the numbers, the age and the crapiness of how fast it goes by?
thanks

it's a big ass cosmic joke.....earth has been here for billions of years. earth will be here for billions more and the average age for a white male these days is at an all time high of 72...
the hell is that?
what are we supposed to do with 72 years?
going by that, i am 30 now so i have 42 years left.....that means i have lived ALMOST HALF MY LIFE........
too scary to even think about....
death is imminent......
it's coming to get me and i can feel it...




posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 09:02 AM
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BD, it sucks, but it's what it is. I'm coming up on 43. I think my 40th was the worst birthday so far, but then, that could have had something to do with my marriage falling apart. I wasted my early adulthood doing stupid things with stupid people and ended up living on the street and at the end of it, I'd caught HIV.

So, I hear what you're saying. If you weren't injured, I'd say 30 really isn't that big a deal. It seems bad, but it's just a number, right? With the injury, though, it's hard to sort out what sucks from age, and what just sucks.

Maybe this will help, maybe not. Feel free to flame me if it's too stupid, but ...

Just a short 2000 years ago, you'd have been coming up on old age already. 40 was really old, 50 was a venerable ancient, if you were (un)lucky enough to live that long.

Buck up, man! You're still young, you've got a wife you love, and a son you love, and a lot of friends here on the internet that don't give a toss if you're 30 or 300.

It's all just numbers, arbitrary, frustrating numbers.

But then, if we're both still here when my 50th comes up, I'll be needing a pep talk myself at that point.

Happy birthday, man.



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 09:20 AM
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reply to post by MajorMalfunction
 




major, i really dig you you know...i have been here a fair bit and i pretty much feel ignored but you always seem to reply to me and get into my threads....i enjoy talking to you...
thanks

i know it is just a number but it's hard, for me at least not to look at that number when our whole lives are numbers....like i said, average age is 72. how can you not think about it when every day you get closer to 72? and, there is no guarantee at that...

i did some pretty fast living when i was younger but right after i had my son, when my career was getting going good and i started making good money, BAM...i got hurt...
took so many things away from me and it has been a struggle ever since....

my wife is my world...i love her so much and i know she feels the same way....we have been married for four years as of 5 days ago and she calls me every day at her lunch break. in that time she has never missed a day...

this is the happiest time and best time of my life....my worst day with my wife is the best day without her.....
from around 8:30-4:00 my wife is at work...i putter around the house and arrange my week so i can run errands but aside from that, i am here at my house alone(well, now i have my dude..my dog) with nothing but my pain and my thoughts....
thats why i spend do much time on the internet....PHYSICALLY, it is hard to do a lot of things..

i play guitar but after a bit my back starts to spike...

it's just depressing.....i try not to think about it and center on it but i can't help it.

when you're 10 you think you're never going to grow up. then one day you wake up and you're 30.



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 09:30 AM
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what!!! get over it. Haven't you heard the 30's are the new 20's? No, go listen to some JayZ. We're still hot, we're wiser, smarter and got more to live for and we're living longer lives.

if it's the number that bother's you, don't acknowledge it, seriously what is it anyways but a concieved notion of measuring time. It's all about perspective.

So shake it off, or you'll start to make me depressed because I'll be 33 in January.



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 09:41 AM
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Go with the flow.
I just turned 30 in Feb,and I was feeling the same way you are now.
But after the birthday came and went,I adjusted.
Theres really no diffference,except your cake now gets 30 candless on it.
Theres always a bright side to it,at least your not turning 50,lol.
For what its worth,I hope ya have a happy birthday.



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 09:43 AM
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reply to post by Boondock78
 


Keep your head up marra and keep on keeping on.

I'm 42 years old and have the heart and attitude of a 17 year old. (Sadly I also have the body of a 60 year old!)
When mixed with the life experiences I have, I feel I can face pretty much anything.

I know you may think it's easy for me to be so flippant but life ain't no dress rehearsal. You have one chance and one chance only.

I have lost so many close friends, to various things that I won't go into here, that it makes me aprreciate everything I have.
I had so many knock backs and kicks in my 20's that I feel I can face anything.

I watch my parents, who are in their 60's, continue to look after my severely mentally handicapped brother with minimum support from anyone, with such a joie de vivre and positiveness that shames me sometimes.

Concentrate on the positives, you clealy have a very loving wife, a beautiful son and a loyal dog, (my dog is my best mate and I spend hours with him).

Concentrate on doing what you want to do and enjoy doing and you will remain as young as you want to be.

Regards and Respect.



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 12:03 PM
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Its fall and EVERYONE is depressed now. Its crazy on all the people i am talking to that are depressed. Just dont try to feel like this 'isn't normal'. You are still really young, and time goes by alot faster when you get older. Just like by this saying:

"If everyone threw their problems into the middle of the room, you would go back and pick up your own"



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 12:35 PM
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Ah Boondock....I get the fall/winter depression myself.As for age...I'll be 37 in January.I feel 24...and get mistaken for a college student a lot.My oldest child, my son...is 20.How old do you feel when your child is 20!I could easily be a grandparent anytime.Have a good laugh at my expense...and pull yourself up.



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 01:00 PM
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I'm not old, just lazy.



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 01:07 PM
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reply to post by Boondock78
 


Hi Boondock78! WE are very close to the same age, but I beat you to the 30 years mark!! Yeah this sertinly is a time in our lifes where we are not old, yet we are not young either!! hehe its like being trapped inbetween!

I come off like an old fart to some of the girls that are like 21...
Yet I retain my youthful acene!! hehe go figure!!

So I just thought I would stop by here and extend my empathy to you brother!!
If you are ever in florida, I would be happy to give you a session of healing.. Im not sure how open you about healers, But I would not charge you any money, nor ask anything from you other than you put in your mind that you WILL get better!!!
feel free to U2 me man!! Keep your head up, and stay postive!!!

Its only just begun!!!



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 01:20 PM
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thanks guys.....it just feels like a drag..
i am scared to death of death.....one of my true fears and it is chasing me down....

cosmic joke i say



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 01:23 PM
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hehe No problem man!! Thats what we are here for!!!

And yeah the whole idea of death is scary.. But its only scary becasue we are taught to fear it!

I say have no fear of death!! I have lost so many people in my life, that death is like a home comming for me!!! Fear not the end.. As its only the start to something greater!!!



There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.-bill hicks



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 01:25 PM
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God, If I could only see 30 again. The most creative, erotic, lucrative, fun, strong, happy, period of my life.

And once you get over your depression, you will see what I mean.

Now 50 sucks, but I'm adjusting, and actually looking forward to those "senior moments" if you know what I mean!



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 02:16 PM
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Hey I turned 30 this year as well. I know the feeling, I was a little bummed out when the 3-0 was getting close. I think its natural, your just thinking that life is moving to fast.

I decided to throw myself a big birthday party when the 3-0 hit. Got all my friends together rented out a room in a upscale resturant for dinner, then hit the town for drinks.

Ya I missed not saying that I'm in the twenties anymore, but I have been enjoying my life more after I hit thirty. I think before I would come up with a excuse not to do fun things, but now I'm just what the heck. I don't care anymore about blowing up my credit card, or saying I don't t have the time for activites.

And for being a single male in a big city, I have found I can dip into the bag of beautiful older women, and still be able to meet the demands of the younger crowd.

Its OK to fear the 3-0 at first, but be ready to embrance it. Because life ain't slowing down!



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 03:57 PM
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Hey Boondock, I dont think ya got anything to worry about mate, I've not long past the otherside of 30, now about to approach my mid 30's and to be honest I dont feel any different than when I was about 21-22, You've got a great family around to grow old with, now thats something to look forward to!!!!
Go out and have a great Birthday in March, and leave getting old till your a fair bit older!!



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 04:11 PM
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I am not 30 yet, but I am officially in my late 20's (27) and I am getting the blues about it as well. I also didn't really get to do the things that I wanted to do when I was younger because of unfortunate situations in my adolesence that lead to poor decisions in my late teens that needed to be handled.

Right now I am trying not to focus on the "What if's" and I am trying to focus on the "now" and adjusting my current life to do things that I can do NOW as opposed to getting depressed about the things that I missed.

Maybe there are things you can't do physically because of your medical problems, but maybe you could find other projects to focus on or other activities you'd like to do and that you can do that can bring you fullfillment.

My way of thinking about this situation is, we all grow old (unless we die young) and we have to make the best of it. I hear older people all the time saying they don't have a birthday party because they are "too old". I feel that every year you should party harder because you never know how many birthdays you have left and you should get as much enjoyment as possible in the meantime.



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 04:20 PM
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I turned 30 in June and I still feel a little depressed about it. I dont fear aging, I fear dying as you do.

I guess I look at it as another era in my life. I have learned so much so I have to stop thinking about the regrets and focus on the future.

With all our trials and tribulations etc we become more aware and more alive. Take the last 30 years and all that you've learned and overcome and make the next ten years the best you can so at 40 you have even fewer regrets.

Happy Birthday btw !



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 04:35 PM
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This is TOTALLY normal Boon. 30 is a peach. 29 is a bitch. I remember it, worst year of my life. Same as you, mortality becomes recognizable. You have regrets about the past, I could go on. Trust me, this time next year and this will just be a bad memory. Unless you hear what I'm saying and get out of the funk. BTW, I'm 45 so I'm well past the halfway mark and it's OK. I still feel like 20 in my head.



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 04:44 PM
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It could always be much worse.

My Sister is 42, at the age of 9 she lost her sight. Does she sit and resent every birthday since then? No. She focuses on the things in her life that are good. She is in and out of hospital and is now in a wheelchair. Your cup is either half full or half empty. There is also a saying that there is no such thing as being old, just older. It is a state of mind. Maybe its a good thing to reevaluate or do a life check...major birthdays seem to bring this on.

Haven't you got a lovelly wife who is supportive? You have a lovelly home? I am sure I read a thread about you getting a tattoo and sharing some info about your wife... hold close to you the things that are good.

Be happy you are still here and not dead!

One of my friends died from cancer before ever reaching 30. He never had children or a wife. My best friend died of cancer at the age of 35. She would have liked to reach 40. My family friend died of breast cancer at the age of 29 and left two children behind. My best friends daughter was murdered at the age of 15. She didn't even reach the age of 21. One of my friends was killed on the way home from work, he died instantly and will not see the age of 40. His g/f was on the back of his bike and she survived. They were set to get married.

Be happy, life is short.



posted on Sep, 19 2007 @ 04:45 PM
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You guys and gals are babies compared to me. Premies at that!:w:

I ain't telling ya my age, cause it's none of your Bees Wax.

Here's what I do ok? Think of others and NOT yourself. There's so many others worse off then you. Live one day at a time and make each day count. Never say, I wish I would have. Ya didn't so Forget it!

Life's going to have it ups & downs expect it. "You were never promised a Rose Garden" (oop's stoled that from a song) I believe we all hurt, in our own way. It's not exclusive to one person. Deal with it.
I was in an auto accident several years ago and told I wouldn't be able to walk in my __'s. (none of your Bee's Wax lol) Don't let doctors program your fate. I can skip and do the Charleston! For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about.... that involves turning the knees inwards and kicking out the lower legs.

ok I'm done with my rant!!! Go ahead and call me an ANCIENT OLD GOAT!
:w: I refuse to live each day whinning about my age.

I'm done



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