At the crossroads...

It was that night when I decided to make the deal. Hitching a ride with the passing motorcycle wasn't the hard part, grinning in delight as I goaded the poor bastard on wasn't either. As we flew down the road somewhere over 120 mph, the only regret I quickly shrugged off was that the unsuspecting jack-ass might die too. But, oh well, such is life, or in this case, death. The semi was right where I had imagined it, turning onto U-Stick off of Midland Blvd. I knew all the screws were turning properly as I distracted my hapless ride by shouting in his ear, "This is where I get off,”snip”!” I grabbed his shoulders and hoisted myself up into the howling wind as he frantically applied the Suzuki 1300R's brakes. As 120 became 90 I felt myself levitating forward, in slow motion and started that charge into the following eternity. A brief close-up of white aluminum covered in vertical rows of rivets, followed by a brilliant explosion of white light is all I remember for a time, and then I was standing alone.

Midnight at the crossroads, how many pop culture icons have tried to see what that is like? But here I was, incorporeal at last; waiting for what I suspected may only be the product of thousands of years of religious superstition. Hah! Now’s a great time to be having doubts like that! But, I was confident as I flexed my hands, though looking new, had always been with me, buried deep within flesh, blood and bone. I looked around me, seeing strange mists that I had never before witnessed rising and flowing from the cornfields on both sides of the road. Looking up, I noticed that the stars were gone, a darkness such as I had never imagined seemed to press down, a tangible darkness, though void of visible presence, it seemed to writhe from within as if attempting to give birth to the very lords of all creation.

My first reality of eternity came as I saw him walk toward me out of this animate swirl of nothingness. As he approached I could see how all the distorted interpretations of “seven days” and “forty days and forty nights” had come to pass. Unseen constellations swirled above; galaxies were born into their fruition, and died again, as the ringing of steel-shod feet stopped before me.


[edit on 10-9-2007 by Sky Eyes]

[edit on 10-9-2007 by Sky Eyes]

Any ideas as to what is supposed to happen next?
If you do, don't be afraid to jump right in there, I put this one on the back-burner a couple of months ago.

And that's when I realized that I was indeed at the crossroads, . . .yes,
that ringing of steel-shod feet stopping before me, the ringing of
unusualness. My gaze worked it's way slowly up from the metallic shoes,
taking in the steel-like torso, and moving up still farther to search the
facial features of . . . . .that were not there! Lost in an aura of cloud-fog,
the face of God remained invisible to me. The experience of a lifetime
was being denied me. My soul was bared in this eternal swirl of galatic
quasi-destination, yet it continued to be me in essence.

From somewhere in the cloudy heights covering his head, a voice of
considerable consternation, tempered with gentle steadiness, asked me
"why?"

"Why?" I replied. No response. "Why?" I questioned it more forcefully this time. "You, who sits in judgement? You, The Almighty? You, Creator of Planets...you ask me why?" I laughed at the faceless form in front of me.
I was greeted by more silence, followed by a feeling of dread. I had never felt such a feeling before. The dread soon turned into pure despair as an almighty noise filled my head. It wasn't sound as we know it, but still, it filled my head to the point that I thought that I was about to pass out...

Interesting thought there to be honest. Can you pass out when you're technically dead? I still don't know, but that's what I thought was going to happen. Then came the voice once again...

[edit on 13-9-2007 by more_serotonin_pls]

Why?

I struggled to remain conscious, the pressure and noise in my head began
to ease. The fog-cloud swirled mightily as again the voice asked . . .

Why?

Why what , I wondered to myself.

Why did you make the deal? And why suicide? Why?

"Are you God, the Creator?"

"I am not. I am his representative." "But he wonders why!?"

My thoughts cleared for a moment, but only under great duress.

"Why?!? You dare ask me why!"

The pieces that my life had become flashed back before me as I raged in silence at this question. Through my gritted teeth I drew the bitter root of all that had been promised, all that had been sworn, all that had been lain before my unsupplicating feet.

"He swore, through His only Son, that whatever I ask in His name..."

A rendering noise cut me off, a mixture of laughter and peals of the most tumultuous thunder, ripping like Hell's Angels across the night.

"Is that what you thought?" an even louder voice boomed. "Pardon me, while I interject."

The sarcasm evident in that request spoke volumes, but in my state it only served to further distance me from any sense that I had left.

[edit on 27-9-2007 by Sky Eyes]

From my viewpoint here at the crossroad, I could see thousands of stars
and galaxies soaring ever onward while this new, louder voice captured
my attention. God's "representative" stepped to one side, it's steel-
encased feet making no sound whatsoever. I now faced this bright fog-
bank of immense size, from which the voice emanated.

"I am the ONE, asking you why."

"I did not receive all that had been promised. I tried to become your
faithful servant, only to find that my efforts were ridiculed, my paths were
always difficult, and the achievement of equality was non-existent."

"And because your attempt was unsuccessful, you gave up your life?"

"What is life without awareness?"

"Awareness of what?"

"Awareness of the whys."

"The whys?"

"Yes, the whys. Why do we exist? Why do we die? Why do we think?
Why can't our dreams come true? Why do we have dreams? Why is our
God the way he is? Why . . . . .why?!"

"Are you aware of where you are right now?"

"Yes, I believe I am at the crossroads."

"And are you aware of whom you are talking to at this moment?"

"Yes, I believe I'm talking to God."

"You BELIEVE you're talking to God?"

"Yes."

Horrific pain coarsed through my head,
horrific pain to make me dead . . . . . .

but wait . .I'm already dead, how could this be?

Another galaxy of star-beacons swirled off into the endless universe.

..........................................................................

I opened my eyes to see a crowd of people standing over me, concerned
looks on their faces. Off to the side lay the smashed Suziki, its wheels
still turning slowly, the hot exhaust pipes hissing in a shallow puddle of
rainwater. Two EMTs knelt down beside me and proceeded to fasten a
neck brace around my numbed and motionless head. Staring out across
the intersection, I could see the side of the truck's trailer where we hit.
A big indentation, with some of the rivets actually popping out of the
aluminum. Where was my driver? Did I get him killed doing my suicidal
swan dive?
As they gingerly loaded me onto a stretcher, I learned that the biker I had
hitched a ride with was no where to be found. I appeared to be the lone
participant in this traffic accident. I noticed with wonder, when they lifted
me into the ambulance, that on the back door of the truck's trailer was an
advertisment that read : "JESUS SAVES, AND SO SHOULD YOU". The
name and telephone number and logo of a bank followed.

"I went down to the crossroads, fell down upon my knees,"
I went down to the crossroads, fell down upon my knees,
"Asked the Lord above for mercy, "Save me if you please."
(lyrics by Eric Clapton)