Broken Me

BROKEN ME


I wish to fall asleep and drift into painless oblivion
Iam shattered,broken, fractured into dust
Too much bleeding,aching,tears flowing like rain
love hides in seclusion from me, fearful
I kill all that I touch

Why did I sacrifice all to be with you?

Words mean nothing
Actions have no value
Promises are worthless

Iam lifeless and lost and Iam falling deeper and farther away

I want love, but you show apathy
I need passion,desire
I get suffering, pain
Though I know it hides inside you buried deep behind a brick wall

Rip out my heart, let nothing remain
Blood flows red and bright,and the life drains away,
leaving only the gray behind
Iam numb,desensitized to the world around,
So disconnected from all but one


I must eliminate all emotion,lest I feel something...I may have to feel it all
Stone cold, defeated
I long to dissolve.There is no compassion left for one such as I
And in reality,I should not expect there to be.

Sorry about ya havin' to feel all this pain,
Maybe next life you won't be with someone that's the same.
That's how life is so let things move on, nobody appreciates others untill they are gone. Life is a puzzle waitin' to be solved, lookin' for someone else to get it resolved. A wise person once told me don't let things get to you, nobody cares about you except you. Everyone has their own inner demons to deal with, tryin' to find the one love to spend their life with. I'm sick of this world as well, sometimes I feel lonely like I'm in a damn cell. Waitin' till someone opens it with a key, to give me back my damn sanity. At times I feel low and high, sometimes I feel like sittin' in a corner all by myself and just cry.

[edit on 5-9-2007 by steve-o]

reply to post by steve-o


Steve, you are a good friend...and thank you for your kind words.
I needed to purge all that out of me.Iam definitely not a writer, but just felt compelled to do so.I have not written a poem since I was a teen and it shows.I won't be posting for awhile.I need to do some damage repair to myself.I don't know how long that will take.ATS is a big part of my life...perhaps too much.I need to do some re-evaluating,and re-inventing of myself,hopefully all will go well.


To quote the GooGooDolls:

Hold on before it's too late,until we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives
It's all that I need in my life

So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
NOTHING IS REAL TILL IT"S GONE

So live like you mean it
and Love till you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives.



A life you don't live is still lost......

AD.

This is no consolation,
This is not comfort.
This is standing beside you, knowing.


Grasp your pain as a precious beacon of dark light, hold it close.
Life ends, let it end. We can do no more unless we wish to endlessly repeat our misery.
Death isn't a faint future, but every moment of life, every transformation is a "little death". With out transformation we are truely "dead".
Your pain will grant you compassion, it will show you the way to life in joy.

There is no "other side", there is now, honor it dear, it is yours to hold.
WIS

[edit on 6-9-2007 by WalkInSilence]

WIS- you are a dear.I so value our new found friendship.Thank you for your kind words and presenting wisdom to me in the one language I know for sure I understand-Music.Iam at the start of a long journey,apparently walking alone.Hopefully along the way,I'll find what I've been looking for.Or perhaps it will find me.One can never be sure of such things in life.From this day forward, no regrets.

I have never been good with words,and always use music to express myself.So appropriate.

This is for Dear Access, who has sat alone and cried
I don't know what you're going through
I don't ever want to see you blue
Your lonely heart has sighed

I've heard your plaintiff call my friend, and I'm just a call away
You're NOT alone with friends right here
What ever you decide, don't fear
We're here for you, in every way

reply to post by TheDuckster


No one knows the pain I suffer but me.And I cannot share.But knowing I have friends by my side, makes the pain easier to bear.Thank you.

Thinking of you AD.

Karnivool - Lifelike.





mojo

Mojo, you know how to feed my soul.

This one is for HIM...and he is the only one who knows why...


Linkin Park- FAINT

[edit on 6-9-2007 by AccessDenied]

Thanks guys...for being the best friends a girl can have.I will bounce back.


......but I bite back!!!!

reply to post by AccessDenied

You don't have to thank us 'cause that's what friends are there for, I'd do anything in the world to make ya happy. I'm cryin' tears of joy that you've came back to us all !!

reply to post by steve-o

Now I'm cryin". You have no idea what you all mean to me.I'm tryin' my best to glue myself together.I have highs and lows.You guys are definitely a high for me. I love you all, no BS.

reply to post by AccessDenied

You're startin' to get me all emotional again, it's crazy how I could bond with someone I haven't even seen face to face, it's a weird feelin' but I really love it.

Low moment...

[edit on 7-9-2007 by AccessDenied]

Access,
Here's a beautiful, haunting, and sad song that I love listening to.
I've included the first part of the quote from Albert Einsteins quote as my new siggy!
Enjoy!

El Condor Pasa ...If I could

Desiderata

By Max Ehrmann

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Thank you Ducky...Most inspiring,with beautiful images...

Bienvenue!
Mon amie!