Wicked Game

I am drowning, I need help. I dont know how much longer I can take it. I never knew such a feeling of loss and hopelessness. Dont get me wrong, I know loss and hopelessness, I have been there many times in my 45 years of life but this time I dont think I can get back up.

You see I met my soulmate, after a lifetime of searching, after so many years of pain and longing to find her. The funny thing is I found her right here on ATS. I left a bad marriage for it, I resigned as a Firefighter for it.

I then got feeling guilty about leaving my abusive wife and went back temporally to make sure she was set and would not lose our home we worked our lifetime for.

I crushed the only thing that ever mattered to me. The love for my soulmate. The most ironic thing about it is that I am finally ready to leave, I made sure everything was good here and was ready for my new life, then somehow I made her hate me. I dont blame her it was my mistake.

Now I am nothing. This song by Chris Isaac explains what I feel.

Wicked Game

World was on fire
No one could save me but you.
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody...

And I don't want to fall in love
No, I don't want to fall in love

What a wicked game to play
To make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do
To make me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do
To make me dream of you

And I don't wanna fall in love
No, I don't want to fall in love

World was on fire
No, No one could save me
And its strange what desire...
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you
I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody...

And I don't wanna fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
No I don't wanna fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
No I...
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
I don't wanna fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]

Nobody loves no one

Wow... you poor soul .

I can feel the heartbreak and anguish in your words. For whatever it's worth I really wish you the best. Sometimes when the world is crashing down around you, another is being built in the distance... you can almost see it if you really try. Hang in there, this too shall pass.

LGM,
You took the right step in asking the members of ATS for help. I have been crushed from the person I thought I was meant to be with, and if it weren't for some of the people here, I probably wouldn't be here. You just need to remember that you need to do what's best for you. Follow your heart. I know what being hopeless feels like, and every once in a while still get that way. My freinds here always make me feel better.Just remember that you always have friends here to talk to. ATS is my second family, and I would do anything for any of the members. If you need to talk, feel free to send me a U2U.

LGM... I'm going to give you some unsolicited advice. Call your soulmate.... talk to her, and find out what can be done to fix things. Tell her everything you feel, and encourage her to do the same. True love never dies... it only goes and becomes more. NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!

I hope it turns out ok. Have faith, your in my thoughts.

Originally posted by fweshcawfee
another is being built in the distance... you can almost see it if you really try. Hang in there, this too shall pass.

Thank you, that does help.

secret titan, thank you I feel a little more like I am part of the human race because of your post.

Jessica, that is a very nice thought, too bad she wont talk to me. Although you are right true love never dies. My love for her will never fade, it will never die, no matter what she says to me I remember what our love meant.

At least I knew love before my life ends.