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"The First Device"

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posted on Aug, 30 2007 @ 02:15 PM
(ok ok - I have to take a break here - but if anyone wants to post images of their own "first device" - stick to proper specs please - I'll be back to further drive this little personal inside viral joke into the ground.

Thanks for your support my endearing comrades - but I'm afraid I must take a break from the innuendo and try to return this to my original intent of attempting to inspire an fun little "arts and crafts" project.

I need to reboot my internal harddrive now. I'm starting to overclock here.

Love you all! Platonically, of course.

[edit on 30-8-2007 by GENERAL EYES]

posted on Aug, 30 2007 @ 03:15 PM

Originally posted by Badge01
Ya know, it's when one of these little 'devices' shows up that I start to worry!

I'm just sayin'...

[edit on 30-8-2007 by Badge01]

I demand to know where you got the picture of my prototype for my MKVII device! Who leaked that to you?!

posted on Aug, 30 2007 @ 03:32 PM
Oh no, we all are gonna get PROBED!!!!!J/K

posted on Aug, 30 2007 @ 04:43 PM
HOLY CHEEBUS CRISPS!!! I'll be back after I CHANGE MY PANTS!!! You people are too funny. I don't think I'll ever go back to that stuffy ATS place again; I'm staying here.

posted on Aug, 30 2007 @ 04:50 PM
reply to post by Teratoma

Welcome to the LIGHTER side.I hope you don't mind but after last night I added you as a friend. Please go to your profile and launch a comment section till you can u2u.( I sent you one )!

posted on Aug, 30 2007 @ 07:24 PM
And what the hell is this thing I just found?

BTW if any of you happened to click on my "AFS" link in my profile earlier, you were directed to the wrong page. Seeing as how the URL had a bad word in it, the censor-thingie sent you to some dweeb's page instead. The actual site is far saucier and cool, and thanks to, the link works now.

posted on Aug, 30 2007 @ 07:31 PM
Ah, you found the one we came out with for kids to play with. We figured we'd start early, and that way they'd be used to them when they got older.

posted on Aug, 30 2007 @ 08:09 PM
reply to post by Teratoma

Wow, what the heck?Never seen that

posted on Aug, 30 2007 @ 08:37 PM

Fun for the whole family!

Tetratoma's homeworld must be one very happy place.

So considerate to include the younglings.

So many kids here in our subterranian colonization base feel terribly left out these days.

(sure explains the bad attitudes some of them have)

But great news - the local engineers on my planet have looked at the original "First Device", done a little reverse engineering to the tune and equivalent of $5 billion U.S. dollars and produced their own "First Device".

(Please understand the design modifications have to represent our culture, values and traditons as well a perform a constructive and useful function. It's a "pride thing".

Amazing thing really - it flies through the air with a simple flick of the wrist, doesn't require fuel cells of any sort and is extremely durable.

It also has a neat built in biodegradable function so it will self deteriorate back into the environment by the time we all blow ourselves to smithereens.

Yay Free Energy and renewable resources!

Here it is. Our cultural triumph!

Money darn well spent in my opinion!


Our version isn't even available to the public yet (only high government officals and goodwill ambassadors have them) but there's already a "The First United Church of The First Device".

Let us pray....

posted on Aug, 30 2007 @ 09:12 PM
Hey GE, let me know if you're interested in mass producing them. I can put you in touch with my engineering and production departments. I'll cut you a good deal too.

posted on Aug, 30 2007 @ 10:02 PM
reply to post by Zaphod58

Oh Zaphod! That would be wonderful!

I just spoke with my husband and he's prepared to start stocking the local "WALL" Mart shelves with as many of these babies as you can crank out.

Joyous day!

posted on Aug, 30 2007 @ 10:10 PM
Great! I'll send you the number to our production company. We should be able to gear up and start cranking them out within a month or two depending on what new machining we have to do for them.

posted on Aug, 30 2007 @ 11:23 PM
OK, guys, this is the new Threat Assessment for tonight.

If you see any of these 'devices' in your room tonight...well, you know what to do.

Just beware, despite their plushie exterior, I hear they have really big, uh, teeth or something:

-Digital Heat, Team Extreme - unofficial ATS hoax assessment squad.

posted on Aug, 31 2007 @ 01:26 AM
Oh dear - haven't seen those "devices" per se, but I have seen this one!

It's at me.

All Hail Little Plushie Chuthulu, Consumer of Worlds.

posted on Aug, 31 2007 @ 05:58 AM
You..are killing me..
all of you..killing me..

And if you don't finish the job...

Page 42 of my old high school biology book will finish the job.
I bring you..the Bacteriophage.
Of the VIRAL persuasion.

It's real folks.

posted on Aug, 31 2007 @ 06:14 AM
um, oh no!

Yet another part of my life.
My career led me to the company that built this:

He is now in the Smithsonian.

Sometimes I would see his younger brother walking the hallways during lunch hour. He never took me up on the offer a toasted bagel with a schmear.

[edit on 31-8-2007 by spacedoubt]

posted on Aug, 31 2007 @ 07:35 PM
Spacedoubt - I'm almost speechless!

(not fully, but darn close!)

As to that first "device" - I've had run in's with those little guys my whole life. Fortunately some NyQuil and tissues knock them right out.

As per the second "first device" - let's just say that if that ever came into my bedroom at night, I'm really glad Zaphod is mass producing my people's variation on the theme.

It would be an interesting battle, but I suspect it would take several of my "space bricks" to put that last guy out of commission.


(and shame on his little brother for not taking you up on the bagel offer! Bad form!

posted on Sep, 1 2007 @ 12:14 AM

GE, look what I found in my laundry basket tonight at about midnight:

I started to panic, but then recalled you had a protector.

When he got a little too forward,

...I sent him over to your house.

I had to have some help, though. Fortunately I have the perfect counter attack cat, the 'CittyCthulhu'.

Let me know how things work out, won't you dear?

BTW, do you think your Nyquil will work on these?

[edit on 1-9-2007 by Badge01]

posted on Sep, 1 2007 @ 01:16 AM
What a charming Chuthulu!

I showed Plushie C. those photos, and she giggled and blushed.

He was simply the most adorable thing she's seen in the entire Lovecraftian realm!

As for Chuthulu Kitty, she might like my Battle Attack hamsters and Pandimensional Mice.

The mice were too busy to comment, but the Hammies say hi to Miss Kitty.

Sorry about those guys, they're Siberian Dwarf Hamsters, and a bit fervert for their cause.

posted on Sep, 1 2007 @ 01:46 AM
Ooh, snacks! Yummy.

Wait...what was that?

Eek! Another of those Type I Devices.


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