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I Swear My Brain is on the Verge of Explosion!

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posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 03:38 PM
Damn where the hell did all those points come from MM?!? You manage to convert one of the mods to worshipping the flying spagetti monster?

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 03:42 PM
Whoa! I didn't see those ... I don't know where they came from. Maybe it's because I helped out for a while at the UFO Expo? I thought I was just butting in, but Springer and MM didn't seem to mind.

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 03:43 PM
Your welcome MM. Well if your permited to you can always move.

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 06:39 PM
I feel your pain, sister. Me and my ex have been involved in a marathon custody battle for over 6 years. Our son is 8. He never showed one iota of interest in our son until he got served divorce papers. His family has money and I'm fairly certain he has bought off a judge or two.

As for recording without their knowledge: have you noticed how many cameras are all over the place everywhere you go these days? It's "common knowledge" that we're almost always being taped. If he shows up while you have your kids at a place other than what the court ordered document says he can show up, get your lawyer to subponae the tapes that are recording the event for you and have him served with contempt. Do it each and every time he violates the court order and the judges will get a little peeved that their almighty commands from on high are being ignored.

That's how I got my ex for contempt and for perjury. Now he will only agree to meet at someplace that doesn't have a camera. Little does he know that in Okla. it only takes knowledge of ONE party to record. Hehehe.

Hang in there. You're not alone. Besides, I can't let your head explode; the religious forums wouldn't be the same without ya.

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 06:50 PM

Originally posted by whitewave

Hang in there. You're not alone. Besides, I can't let your head explode; the religious forums wouldn't be the same without ya.

Coming from you, that means a whole lot. Thank you.

Six years. I don't know how I could do that long. This whole situation is wearing out my health.

That custody evaluator, I sure hope she's worth the fee we had to pay her, and sees through my ex where the court hasn't been able to.

I haven't seen my poor kid all day, I don't even know how her day went. I leave to pick her up from her father in 20 minutes though, so hopefully she's OK.

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 06:52 PM
Just keep your cool MM when you go,and let him be the A hole he is.Your daughter will eventually see that.My kids did.

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 06:55 PM
People keep telling me that, AD, but she sure is attached to him, it seems unnatural the bond they have, like he's made her his wife emotionally. I don't like the quality of their relationship, there is really something off about it, but people in the system here tend to brush off my concerns as being overreactions to having to share the kids with him now that we are no longer together.

I'm her mother. I should know if something is wrong better than anyone and it really offends me that my concerns are always brushed off as irrelevant or hysterical.

Gah! I'm frustrated!

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 07:02 PM
reply to post by MajorMalfunction

Aw hon, now I understand.He really is a sick twisted bastard.Just keep your spirits up as best you can,and don't let him get to you.It empowers him.But you know that as well as I.I'm just getting used to my new found courage.

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 07:07 PM
MM, You know, where i live, any physical abuse towards you, is considered child abuse if your kids watched it. I am not sure if thats federal or not, but you might want to check into it. There would be a police report of the incident even if he wasn't charged.

It really sucks that all this bad stuff has happened. Your due for some good news. Maybe the next lottery ticket will be a winner.

I got your back if you need to vent. I'm always willing to listen!

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 07:40 PM
I finally came up with a unique approach/solution, MM. After much deliberation and gut-wrenching soul-searching, I finally decided that I would be free of this miserable excuse for a human being no matter the cost. My son is completely enamored of his father (bribery works very well on small children) but he's having his mind corrupted by daddy's schizophrenic "reasoning".

At the beginning of summer visitation I told him to draw up papers and I would sign away my parental rights. He hasn't done it (although I'm sure his family has encouraged him to do so) and he's been a lot more civil. See, the power struggle has nothing to do with our son; he's just being used as a pawn in my ex's power struggle of control and domination of me. He thinks he's found my weak spot; the one thing I'll completely lie down and let him steamroller over me for (and he has). Once I took back my own personal power and said, "you want the boy? take him and be gone from my life forever.", he quit trying to be the treacherous, malicious, vindictive, game-playing jerk he has been. Now he's being all "nice" which really worries me.

The down side to this is that I have to be willing to back it up if he calls my bluff. It kills me to see my son manipulated and corrupted like he's been going through. Sorry to bring in a biblical reference (but you know how I am). I felt kind of like Hagar who, being cast out after being vilely used, put her son under a bush away from her so she wouldn't have to see him die in the desert wilderness. God saved her and the boy and let him grow up to be a pain in the ass to Israel even to present day. [there's some comfort in there somewhere. at least there was for me]

I console myself in the fact that when he's with me, he's getting some genuine affection and decent upbringing that, hopefully, will impact him for his whole life. Even if I do eventually lose him, I know I will have had some good influence on him. Makes our time together all the more precious. All one can do is love them while one has them and trust that they understand the difference between real love and feigned affection for control's sake.

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 10:39 PM
Jessica, thank you, you know I appreciate your thoughts. The feds are loving to deport people, whether legal immigrant or illegal for "crimes of moral turpitude," but he has to have been sentenced to jail before they'll do it. And even though non-payment of child support is a federal crime now, and he's over $23,000 in arrears, again, it has to be prosecuted locally. He pays the bare minimum so they don't find him in contempt. Out of the $1670 he was supposed to pay this month, I got $100. Just enough for a box of diapers and gas in my car for the rest of the month. Better than nothing I guess.

Whitewave, I don't think I am brave enough or strong enough to make such an offer to my ex. I am pretty sure he'd take it, because he knows giving the kids up will torture me worse than anything. After a hearing in April when the judge chewed us both out for the conflict and told us how our daughter's future would be poorly shaped by it, I nearly gave up. My attorney and friends of mine talked me out of it. They said (rightly so) that to give them up to him would be abandoning them to a horrible upbringing, and they'd suffer all their lives because of it.

So I put my head down and keep soldiering on. Hopefully the evaluation will put a stop to most of the custody battle in court and we can get on with the actual divorce. That is something I actually am looking forward to going to court for.

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 10:41 PM
MM cant you take action against your ex since he broke a court order ?
These things usually right themselves in time after the child has been hurt trust me I know your ex reminds me of my Dad who I have no contact with .
You can pick your friends but you cant pick who your family are. :shk:

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 10:53 PM
xpert11, if we weren't in California, and not in the particular county I'm in, things would have gone against him a long time ago. Our county is one of the worst in the nation for being "fair" to abusive parents by completely overlooking mental, emotional and verbal abuse because it "takes two to tango." When I left the marriage I had PTSD. I still suffer panic attacks when he starts up because I'm not done healing yet. But the court refuses to see that he's causing the problems, they think it's both of us, because he's a sociopath and a pathological liar. And, as my attorney thinks, it's the British accent. He said that Americans get stupid around a British accent. They just don't believe someone with that cultured sound can be a cruel, malicious monster.

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 11:01 PM
Well that is tough break when I was still a kid my parents fought a custody battle and the family court or whatever it was called listened to me and I ended where I wanted to be with my Mum. The lies to catch up with the likes of your ex and my Dad they forgot the tales they have woven.

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 11:08 PM
I hope you're right. You probably are. The trick is living through it and trying to make a normal life for the kids in the meantime.

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 11:29 PM
Take it from me it was painful when I realized what my Dad was like but eventually I forgave him for he was even thou I have nothing to do with him. The pain never really goes way entirely way but life goes on and I have gained much wisdom from my experiences.

posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 11:32 PM
thanks for sharing that with me. Hearing from people who went through it as children really does help make it less frantic for me. But as a mother, there'd be something wrong with me if I didn't want to protect my kid. It's hard to watch these things go on and not be upset by them or want them to stop.

I'm glad you've gotten strength from what you went through, though. I hope my kids will, too.

posted on Aug, 28 2007 @ 12:16 AM
No worries. I was born and grew up in Perth and it wasn't until I moved to Christchurch with my mum that I realized the stress and unhappiness my Dads crap had caused me over the years. I found it easier at school and I was happier in general one I found at what its like to live without such crap.

posted on Aug, 28 2007 @ 12:50 AM
I thought it was Federal law that you could collect 10% interest off back child support. Worth looking into.

Your kids are lucky to have a mom that loves them and is willing to make such personal sacrifices for their betterment. Kids can feel that fierce protectiveness and are drawn to it.

My son just got back from summer visitation where he was indulged shamelessly in order to entice him (willingly) to prefer living with daddy. My son said, "I want to live with mom but you can still buy me stuff".

For what it's worth, you and your kids will be in my prayers.

posted on Aug, 28 2007 @ 01:25 AM
Sorry to hear of all this trouble that you are going through. I can't give advice as i have no experience with this sort of thing, but you are in my thoughts and i hope it gets sorted soon so that you and your child can get on with life.
All the best

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